OP wants to have kids with his 33-year-old fiancee, but when it comes to marriage, he's on team "No, no, no no no", while she's on team "Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah." (np.reddit.com)
SubredditDrama
423 ups - 0 downs = 423 votes
427 comments submitted at 15:41:12 on Aug 18, 2014 by wilst
I'll tell you exactly what it feels like, it's devastating. That moment where it clicks and you see the past 5 years in that new light, your heart sinks and you feel like a fool. A naive fool.
No one ever told me that when someone says, "I love you" and you know that they genuinely believe what they are saying, they could still be wrong. That you need to vet the statements like that not just for their sincerity, but their validity.
Why would it be devastating? Marriage is a hollow institution nowadays. It has no benefit for the ~~man~~ breadwinner 9 times out of 10. Yet the guarantee it gives to ~~women~~ the other spouse is that they get to collect half the stuff when they decide on a whim to divorce.
If you love a person, & want to be with them, marriage shouldn't matter. If a person ~~woman~~ is (non-religious, non-virgin &) autonomous they shouldn't care about marriage.
If a ~~woman~~ person is not, and seeks a meal-ticket, it becomes the best insurance for them to act however they please & will still be supported for the rest of their life.
***edited out genders, because the reversing them still applies the point I was trying to make.
The person you replied to didn't mention marriage once. Neither did the person they replied to.
That is true, but I did heavily imply it. And while his comment was clearly a self indulgent tangent he was not wrong about my referencing an actual marriage.
Oh, I thought the entire context for the comment I replied to was that, the OP in the original SRD thread, didn't really "love his fiancee" because he wanted to postpone marriage. So I guess I assumed that was the entire basis for this thread's circlejerk. My mistake!
DAE HATE WOMEN?
Yeah, that was a face full of TRP out of nowhere.
As the guy that angry dude was responding to, I'd just like to say that negatively associating him as TRP isn't fair, and a bit of a strawman cop out. While TRP absolutely recognizes and discusses the very real risk/reward situation of marriage, there are plenty of people who frequent that sub, myself included, that aren't opposed to marriage in the least ... even though I got burned in the past.
I have nothing against you, I just don't like seeing things we don't like twisted into mustache twirling villains. Sure, it makes it easier to explain why we're opposed to something when it's reduced to the end of the bell curve extreme examples, but that doesn't do the world we live in justice.
The voice of reason emerges from the mob. I thank you. I admit I shouldn't have put things in terms of man and woman. Because certainly there exists women/wives in a marriage who earn more than their husbands/men; and in those cases I still would feel the same about marriage.
However, it was on the tip of my tongue so to speak because I've never once seen the gender roles reversed in such a situation as this. What man freaks out & resorts to tears because his woman isn't marrying him quick enough for his liking?
I'll be editing man/woman to breadwinner/spouse since it's more accurate.
Thanks again for having the courage to not jump on the bandwagon.
I try to stay away from gendered in instances when it can and often is a shared experience. And I'm not even a fan of breadwinner/spouse because there are plenty of examples of equal earning partnerships...
That's what it is, a partnership, and that's who they are in non gendered terms; a partner.
Remember that just because you haven't seen something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The world is large, and no matter where you are from, I can guarantee you the rest of the world is different.
Relationships can fall apart because the two parties have different goals or timings. I've been on both ends, having wanted more than the other sooner, and wanting less or not as fast. If you live in a place where gender norms are adhered to more strictly, this might not be as frequent an occurrence than in places where gender norms are actively torn down.
I was born and raised in SF and I could tell you a great many honest, genuine things that you might have a hard time believing considering you've never seen a man concerned because the woman he is with isn't as enthusiastic about tying the knot as he is.
LOLOL well played, sir.
Shhh, it's ok. We all know that you're uber Alpha.
Now skip on back to the Red Pill.
But all these down votes to my genuinely, non-trolling questions, are hilarious to me. Why would I want to go where people blindly agree with me? My ego is not so shallow that I can't handle dissent in any form.
I subscribed to this subreddit because I love drama. Holy shit, I'm getting my money's worth today.
People's egos aren't shallow here. (Or maybe they are, but that's irrelevant). You are downvoted because the ideas TRP espouses are idiotic, repulsive, and sexist. As such, they find it below real consideration, and downvoted it.
You are free to your ideas. Jut don't expect them to be taken seriously outside of your sexist circlejerk.
I didn't say anything remotely sexist. Please quote anything I said in this thread that was sexist or hateful & pass it on to the mods so I can be banned for breaking this subreddit's rules. If you didn't get caught up in the hysteria of this thread you'd have realized that.
I never mentioned anything about TRP. I only asked genuine questions about the validity & point of marriage, since certain people in this thread were making the implication that OP didn't love his fiancee because he wanted to postpone marriage. I disagreed with those statements, and asked genuine questions. Some other people in the thread accused me of hating women because of it. Excuse me? What? I'm hateful toward women because I gave my opinions for not believing in marriage? How does that logic work, my friend?
You however, jumped on the bandwagon and personally attacked me by calling me "shit". Bravo
It's simply because it was obvious you're from TRP. The place is considered a shit hole, at least around here.
If you hadn't come off sounding like someone from TRP then people wouldn't have cared to search through your history right away to confirm you are from TRP. At that point all arguments you make mean absolutely nothing here.
That's all.
>I never mentioned anything about TRP.
Yet it was quite easy to tell you were someone who reads a lot of red pill shit. Your first downvoted comment I saw was clearly a TRP type comment.
It's pretty easy to find you guys, and many here think that the those who follow that philosophy are pieces of shit. Call it whatever you want, but that's just how it goes.
=)~
Alright, more power to you then. I can agree it saves time & strokes the ego to be able to discount an argument instantly via supposed association. You don't have to argue, no big deal, buddy. Downvote to your heart's content.
>then people wouldn't have cared to search through your history right away to confirm you are from TRP
lolwut? Who did this? Someone please dig through my comment history deep enough to get a timestamp of if/when I commented at TRP. To be honest, I frequent & read both TRP & TBP ideas, and don't agree 100% with either. Regardless, your a
I sometimes post to /r/PurplePillDebate for fun as an exercise in writing/debating. I thought maybe I could start something similar here. I didn't get what I expected, but still I'm not entirely disappointed.
>It's pretty easy to find you guys, and many here think that the those who follow that philosophy are pieces of shit. Call it whatever you want, but that's just how it goes.
What philosophy am I following & in what way have I attacked anyone personally in this thread? People in this thread implied you can only start a family & be committed if they get married. You can actually do all those things outside of marriage. Can't you put on your big boy pants & directly argue against the points I made?
Or do you simply enjoy slinging the same poop that you pompously enjoy eating popcorn over?
If I told you Kevin Bacon was in the movie Footloose, would you still downvote me to oblivion even though that's a fact?
I edited out the genders of my original comment, to breadwinner/spouse because they still apply to the point I was trying to make.
When I got divorced, we split our joint property down the middle, but we had both been working and adding equally adding to our own value so that was absolutely fair.
She itemized "her" things and their value, I did the same with mine. We split up the shared items amicably and because one of us wanted more "stuff" the other got more of the savings.
Gremlins exist, but not every bridge has a troll underneath it.