What could have been an ordinary morning (self.offmychest)
46 ups - 0 downs = 46 votes
I knew if I gave you the opportunity that you would cheat, I knew if I made it seem like I had to drive to a different state for business that you'd cheat. Hell I knew it but actually watching it unfold now that I wasn't prepared for. I'm rational, I knew you were wild when we started dating but I didn't care I thought why should I care you're just a fling. But then I started to like you, yes you have some shitty personality flaws but when we're together and it's just us you act like a different person. 3 months ago you lost your shitty minimum wage job and asked to move in with me, because as you said "you didn't have any family on this side of the country". So I like the idiot I am allowed it to happen. I don't know when I started suspecting you, I didn't even need to read your phone to suspect you. It felt like catching a little kid trying to hide something.
I've been planning this for weeks, I had hidden IP cameras setup throughout our apartment, I waited I planned then I just waited for you to do what what you do best. You thought I'd be gone for the weekend, so you invited him over, you let him eat my food use my computer and fuck you in my bed. I could have walked in right when you were doing the deed, but I wanted to catch you at your absolute lowest. I waited until the next day in the morning when you'd both be passed out after a night of fun, HOW STUPID can you get to let him stay in our apartment after you had sex. Did you think you'd really get away with it?
I walked in quietly had many different scenarios planned in my head, beat the guy up, curse you into tomorrow everything. But again I'm rational. What do I gain from that? I wanted to play my cards right to create a situation in which I benefit the most, after all I was emotionally invested in you I was going to see my returns one way or another. I didn't even bother waking you two up, I sat in my living room reading a book, I wanted you to be completely caught off guard I wanted your brain to be so completely caught off guard that it couldn't process, I wasn't going to allow you to follow a script.
After about 3 hours I heard you guys waking up, what did you do? you decided to have morning sex. I wanted to just burst into the room and punch him out but I wanted to savior the moment. I sat there waiting, plotting. Then my movement I had been planning waiting for finally came. You walked out that room half naked heading to the kitchen and saw me. I looked up at you and didn't say anything I put my book down and I just looked at you with disappointment. I didn't yell, I didn't say a single word you stood there for 30 seconds and it was complete silence I assume your brain at this moment was trying to process exactly what the fuck was going on, if this was really happening or not. It wasn't until you heard his footsteps coming from the room that you started tripping the fuck up. I saw the panic overcome your face, I wonder if you thought if I didn't know he was in there or maybe you thought you could hide him some how. He walked out and it was only then that I realized who he was.
He was a good friend, someone I thought I'd be close with for a few years to come I was in complete disbelief. When he walked out, he was just as puzzled as you were I gave him the same look I gave you. I then closed the book and without even saying a single word walked the fuck out. I saw you take a step forward to try and talk to me to try and explain yourself but I wasn't haven't it you knew better. And He the person I thought a friend, the person I had helped out in the past, talked out of suicide and helped in so many other ways. He was too ashamed to even keep eye contact.
I went out and tried processing what happened, I was angry I wanted to hurt you both hell who wouldn't want that? But more than anything I felt this deep, deep inferiority. I felt as if I was lacking in some manner that I lacked so much that you through primal need for survival sought it elsewhere. I drove around for a while kept getting on the highway and off again just going in a big fucking loop. I had my phone off and was getting tired. So I decided to head to a hotel to cool off and catch up on some sleep. I hadn't had any sleep for about a whole day to this point. When I woke I had a clear mind and I felt better I could now rationally handle the whole situation. I showered and dried off and then turned my phone on. I had a ton of new voice mails and a lot of new text messages.
First from you the friend who betrayed me with my girlfriend. You texted asking if we could talk, then texted me asking if I was mad, then you texted me apologizing and then you attempted to explain how you were going to fix it. I guess you really did feel some sort of remorse because you also left a few voicemails crying apologetic, I don't think I've ever heard you cry like that from one guy to another I know how much you had to swallow your pride to cry like that. You genuinely felt bad for what you did but I still was not pleased at what you did.
Then the messages from you my girlfriend who I adored who I allowed to move in with me, that I supported. I was very curious as to what you had to say. You sent me 2 text messages saying that you were sorry and that you really wanted to talk. Then you sent me a ton of voicemails that included everything to you crying begging for forgiveness to you cursing me out for not picking up and then crying again to apologizing for the previous voicemail. You were clearly unstable, you were clearly out of your right mind.
I then decided to head back to my apartment and handle this situation. I arrived shortly past noon and when I walked in you sprung up from the sofa still in the same clothing that I saw you in yesterday you hadn't showered or anything. You instantly started crying, but I was already expecting this. You tried to play on my emotions with your crying but I wasn't having that. I sat down in my chair without paying any mind to the show you were putting on and told you to sit down and at least show me the courtesy and respect I deserve. I then told you that I had already come to a decision that I was going to make and there was nothing you could do to change my mind. But that I would allow you to explain yourself to explain why you did it. I sat there for 5 mins without giving you anything but eye contact I didn't nod, I didn't agree, I didn't disagree I just took in exactly what you had to say. You tried everything to appeal to my emotions, to appeal to my reasoning you said you'd change, that you'd do things differently yatty ya blah blah I know the pattern and I wasn't going go through this again with you. After you were done, I stared at you for a minute I wanted you to feel shame to feel disgusted. I then told you, that we were done that I was not going to give you another chance that you had three days to move out before I placed your stuff outside. You cried you tried to appeal to my emotions telling me that you'd be homeless. I told you simply "Be homeless for all I care you've ruined my home." You sat there in disbelief I told you that I knew you were going to do this, that I suspected it. As such that I had placed hidden IP cameras all throughout the apartment and that even at this very second they were recording. I told you that I had the freedom to publish this as I wanted, I told you that if you didn't leave and didn't stay out of my life that I'd publish this to every website I could think about. I told you that I actually loved you, but because I loved you I now equally hate you. Thats the thing about love that I can only now understand, once you love something unconditionally it's very,very close to hating something.
Now I'm going to move on with my life, I'm not going to waste a single fucking second more on you I'm not even going to give that Ex-friend of mine a single fucking second of time. As far as I can tell he's dead to me has never existed and so are you.
11 comments submitted at 20:29:55 on Aug 16, 2014 by S1ng1e