OP isn't sure if she got raped. Luckily, /r/confession is. (self.SubredditDrama)
SubredditDrama
60 ups - 0 downs = 60 votes
"I said I was raped. I don't know if it's true." OP tells /r/confession about what happened, and how conflicted her mind is.
The top commenter isn't as conflicted, causing some drama Edit: chain nuked, redditbots saved it
Further down, a commenter's "what if it went this way though" pops some more kernels.
Surely there must be a way to talk about this topic without causing butts to be hurt. Let's try the good old dictionary denifition. Wait, no, still drama.
One commenter believes to have found the source of conflict: "Rape is really an open word, people need to realize all the different connotations to it." Redditors agree and start 'raping the commenter with their words'. Edit: chain nuked, redditbots saved it
Bonus: /u/TypicalWhiteGirl loses it after forgetting her own username Edit: comment removed, redditbots saved it
Edit: Bonus bonus: somewhere else, people are getting very upset
169 comments submitted at 18:38:11 on Aug 11, 2014 by Belgiumball
Sounds like rape to me
>Without warning or asking, however, he suddenly penetrated me. I was so shocked that I quite literally froze; I couldn't make a sound. After a couple of seconds this wore off and I tried to push him off of me, but he kept going. This lasted for a few more seconds, until I finally managed to choke out "stop" a handful of times. It took him a few seconds after that to get off of me. The whole ordeal was over in probably thirty seconds or less, but it felt like a lifetime. I proceeded to curl up in the fetal position and sob, and he comforted me.
I'd agree with you given that description. Froze, tried to push him off but he didn't stop, finally chokes out a few 'stops', then a few seconds later he does, she curls up in the fetal position and sobs. That's not regretting having sex like some of the comments are saying, even if he comforts her afterwards, she forgives him, and they have consensual sex in the future. The guy still didn't get consent, and it seems clear from the pushing and saying stop that she wouldn't have given consent if he had asked. When it comes to sex don't hope for forgiveness, ask for permission.
Proof that everybody should always be careful surrounding consent. This fellow wasn't a rapist in the sense he carried on after she said stop. He tried to comfort her and stopped when she said the word.
But he didn't make his intentions clear, and he ignored signs of physical displeasure. The right thing should have been to make get consent, or at the very least make his intentions clear, or at the very very least watch her body language for signs of displeasure. Whether he was a rapist or not, he hurt his partner deeply. Even without semantics, can't we all get behind not making our partners cry in the fetal position?
I'm totally behind the idea that he fucked up and talking things through with an unsure (about certain acts) sexual partner is the best idea.
This is why I have been a big supporter of the idea somebody can be raped without their rapist necessarily being guilty of rape. He penetrated her without consent which legally is rape, but he stopped, so is he a rapist? Did he honestly 100% think he had consent? Can somebody be guilty of rape if they stop when they relize there is no consent? Fuck, I don't know.
I don't know. All I know is we should educate our children (boys and girls, this happens in reverse too) to make sure they realize that isn't okay.
I'm kind of taking liberties with the story, here, though. When she said she choked out "stop" a few times, I'm assuming a few times in quick succession, like: "stop stop stop". Much different if the "stops" were seconds or longer apart.
I think the problem is while this is kinda rape I would hesitate in calling the guy a rapist and I don't think he should be arrested. At most he just needs someone to explain to him next time (if he is ever in that situation again) get reassurance/consent from them before doing that especially if they are iffy about it. Him going to jail or court for this would be a massive overreaction, he doesn't seem like a really bad guy just a dumbass.
Yeah education seems like the best idea to prevent things like this happening.
It's most likely they were in quick succession because she did say it was 30 seconds or less for the whole event and he stopped a few seconds after she said stop.
>But he didn't make his intentions clear
He was rubbing his naked penis against her naked vagina. How could he make his intentions any more clear?
>he ignored signs of physical displeasure. The right thing should have been to make get consent, or at the very least make his intentions clear, or at the very very least watch her body language for signs of displeasure.
Let's see how the OP described her reaction to their sexual activity prior to the penetration.
>but didn't mention anything because, well, I was enjoying the sensation.
Non-verbal consent right here. The issue is if non-verbal consent turns into clear non-verbal signals to stop, or verbal requests to stop. And in this story, it did, albeit after a few seconds.
The boyfriend wasn't a rapist in any legal definition.
*Opens an SRDD tab*
In for a penny, in for a pound: Valerie Solanas did nothing wrong.
John Wayne Gacy was an alright dude.
I liked him in True Grit.
I agree. It was his kid who was the asshole!
So was Mark David Chapman.
It doesn't to me. Let's go on for about 20 comments about why the other person is an idiot, you go first.
YOU MORON
YOU ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A VILE BRUTE AND A DOLT
I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M SUPERIOR TO ALL OF YOU
> Without warning or asking, however, he suddenly penetrated me. I was so shocked that I quite literally froze; I couldn't make a sound. After a couple of seconds this wore off and I tried to push him off of me, but he kept going. This lasted for a few more seconds, until I finally managed to choke out "stop" a handful of times. It took him a few seconds after that to get off of me. The whole ordeal was over in probably thirty seconds or less, but it felt like a lifetime. I proceeded to curl up in the fetal position and sob, and he comforted me.
Naw that's pretty normal
/s
/heavy, heavy s
It's too late you said it!
THIS BANANA LOVES RAPE!
Why do you think my banana's been squashed? :(
You mean it just looks like that naturally?backing away slowly ...o-kaayy