I'm a pathetic 'terper' looking for advice. (self.TheBluePill)

TheBluePill

23 ups - 12 downs = 11 votes

I'm a heterosexual man, 20-year-old college student, who has never been on a date, had a girlfriend, kissed or did anything sexual whatsoever with a woman.

In high school I didn't give much thought to romance because I was always preoccupied with my education, and believed that 'love' will one day come out of the blue. When college started, however, I started taking a more proactive attitude towards finding a girlfriend and got interested in the 'seduction' community.

I've socialized with hundreds of girls since college started – none seemed interested in me. Sometimes I tried to use canned 'openers' and such to flirt, while in other instances I just behaved 'naturally'. Nothing seemed to matter at all. I've also asked a dozen girls out in the past couple of months, and they all refused. Some said that they just like me as a 'friend; others told me I'm not their 'type'. See, the problem with this type thing is that there are universal human preferences for what's attractive or not. For example, a muscular body and low body fat percentage are universally desirable traits in a man.

Which brings me to my next point – am I fucking unattractive? I am tall and fit; I dress well; I am well-spoken. But, get this, I only look average. I asked on /r/rateme and /r/amiugly if I'm unattractive, and the consensus is that while I'm not hideous, I'm not actually good looking either...I'm just fucking average, like most people are. I also did a little survey in real life and all girls agreed that I'm 'OK' looking. Again, keep in mind that I didn't do any “sleazy PUA shit” to find a girlfriend. I socialized, conversed, asked women out, and got rejected.

If I were to post this on /r/seduction, they'd tell me to focus on my inner game or whatever self-improvement crap is hip these days. I already feel I'm pretty good in terms of fashion, body etc. and don't see how I can become better as of now. If I were to post this on /r/theredpill, they'd tell me to stop bitching and approach more because deep down I am alpha. Yeah, after getting a fuckton of rejections, I somehow feel one more won't do any good (diminishing returns).

So, why do you think I can't find a girlfriend? I'm curious, what do you think about my situation?

PS: If virtually all women I talk to say they only like me as a friend, despite them being single, I guess I'm just unattractive. Do you think this might be the case?

Last edit: The advice here doesn't seem too surprising, other than keep trying, work on my social skills etc. I've come to realize that I don't really like what I see in the mirror. I don't like how I talk or how I behave. One day maybe a girl will be interested in me, but I'm just so jaded about this romance thing that I cannot further humiliate myself. I tried, I failed, now I move on. Thanks.

103 comments submitted at 12:29:11 on Dec 25, 2013 by Am3fucksad

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 35 Points
  • 12:53:20, 25 December

This isn't really the subreddit for this. /r/askwomen might be better for finding out more about what some women want in a man.

Three things. One is that you're young. I know tons of people, men and women, who hadn't had relationships at 20.

The other is that the average person has relationships, so if you aren't, it probably isn't your average looks that are the problem.

Three is that no one hear wants to talk you out of TRP because it's full of hatred. Would you go on a subreddit for black people and say, "I'm tempted to be a white supremacist, convince me otherwise?"

  • [-]
  • Am3fucksad
  • -13 Points
  • 13:07:06, 25 December

I know that this is a parody subreddit, but am curious as to what somebody who doesn't subscribe to redpill/seduction ideas thinks.

I believe it's safe to say that what a woman wants in a man hinges on whether she looks for a short-term partner or a long-term one. For a short-term one, looks matter most, while for a long-term one, stuff like personality or intelligence come into play, but even then looks matter a lot.

I've never heard of anyone who hasn't had a girlfriend/boyfriend at my age and I've talked to hundreds of people. It's not being a virgin that saddens me, but that I've never had a girlfriend.

I don't see how hatred or not any of this matters. If I'm ugly, does it matter if I hold evil beliefs? Oh, there was this thread where women mentioned fucking random people because they were hot, despite being complete strangers or assholes.

  • [-]
  • YourOldPalHoward
  • 24 Points
  • 13:27:22, 25 December

> Oh, there was this thread where women mentioned fucking random people because they were hot, despite being complete strangers or assholes.

So what? I've had relationships with women I didn't like much just based on their looks too. Those relationships are very rarely satisfying for any gender. I really don't see the relevance of pointing out that people are sometimes shallow. Most mature people won't settle down into a true LTR relationships on the basis of looks alone— would you?

> If I'm ugly, does it matter if I hold evil beliefs?

Um...yes? I can't even begin to imagine the kind of mentality that would make you ask that.

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 21 Points
  • 13:21:21, 25 December

I'm gonna go ahead and guess troll.

>If I'm ugly, does it matter if I hold evil beliefs?

Of course it does and you already know you're not ugly, so why ask this?

>Oh, there was this thread where women mentioned fucking random people because they were hot, despite being complete strangers or assholes.

Yet you say

>It's not being a virgin that saddens me, but that I've never had a girlfriend.

Why even want a girlfriend if you believe women are stupid, emotionally immature, and incapable of love or loyalty? Why would you want to be in a relationship if you believe that any girlfriend you have will be constantly looking to cheat on you with a more alpha guy?

You're either a troll or in a bad place and no one here can help you.

  • [-]
  • Am3fucksad
  • -14 Points
  • 13:24:31, 25 December

I'm not ugly, but I'm not attractive either.

Some women are stupid, immature, unloyal. Not all of them. How is this not true?

Yes, I think that most women (and men) would cheat if given the opportunity. This again makes me feel skeptical of getting too attached to somebody.

  • [-]
  • pygmylunch
  • 29 Points
  • 15:20:05, 25 December

Honestly, your pessimistic attitudes about women are probably what's holding you back.

  • [-]
  • fb95dd7063
  • 27 Points
  • 17:05:24, 25 December

>Yes, I think that most women (and men) would cheat if given the opportunity.

Okay for real dude I'll be blunt with you. You can't get a girlfriend because you assume other men and women are as terrible as you are. Other people can smell that shit on you. They can fuckin feel it when you're around.

You'll get a girlfriend when you stop being a cynical, self-centered asshole who views the world through a dark and Red-Pill tainted lens.

The ironic thing about game theory that the primary reason people succeed with it is because it forces them to actually try. It isn't special techniques or being a dick that will get you laid: it's putting forth the tiniest bit of effort in to not being a tool, and actually asking girls out. You'll get rejected. Sometimes a lot. It happens man, trust me. Deal with it and move on.

You meet a girl and want to date her? Ask her out then. Don't dwell on the idea for months while pretending to be her friend and then complain when she isn't interested. Get that shit out of the way from the beginning.

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 15 Points
  • 13:36:02, 25 December

>Some women are stupid, immature, unloyal. Not all of them. How is this not true?

TRP believes that all women are. This is one of the top scoring links on the subreddit.

If you believe that, like I said, no one here can help you because to us it is patently obvious that those beliefs are ridiculous and harmful. So I'm done here.

  • [-]
  • Am3fucksad
  • -13 Points
  • 14:07:07, 25 December

It's obvious that if only one woman isn't [those things], the idea is false. And yes, the idea is false.

Don't see what you're arguing against.

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 29 Points
  • 15:53:22, 25 December

You can't get a girlfriend because you're a dick.

  • [-]
  • TheYellowRose
  • 12 Points
  • 16:13:20, 25 December

Bingo!

  • [-]
  • autoNFA
  • 3 Points
  • 18:51:37, 25 December

I thought OP was saying he disagreed with the central idea in that TRP post you linked?

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 8 Points
  • 18:54:35, 25 December

Then OP shouldn't be a self-described terper.

  • [-]
  • breathmintfordragons
  • 7 Points
  • 14:54:21, 25 December

rude

  • [-]
  • junejulyblue
  • 10 Points
  • 02:20:26, 26 December

>Some women are stupid, immature, unloyal. Not all of them. How is this not true?

Because these aren't exclusively female traits. Are you shitting me right now? Those are bad people traits, not things that women are hardwired to do unless you train them like a German fucking shepard.

The word is "disloyal" by the way.

  • [-]
  • the-ok-girl
  • 8 Points
  • 15:17:18, 25 December

>I'm not ugly, but I'm not attractive either.

Proofpic or you're as handsome as a troll living under the bridge, dude.

>This again makes me feel skeptical of getting too attached to somebody.

So don't, what's your big problem, mr Nice Guy?

  • [-]
  • bobisagirl
  • 21 Points
  • 21:19:40, 25 December

For someone who's never had a relationship or even sex with a woman, you sure are claiming to know a lot about women and relationships.

  • [-]
  • SpermJackalope
  • 8 Points
  • 21:56:27, 25 December

Exactly this.

  • [-]
  • huenixion
  • 4 Points
  • 01:16:08, 26 December

Dude who's never been on a date claims women are universally attracted to specific traits in men, film at 11.

  • [-]
  • Thai_Hammer
  • 0 Points
  • 17:41:23, 26 December

Prolly because he's this kid

  • [-]
  • Bluepillschool
  • 14 Points
  • 13:31:22, 25 December

We think sometimes life is unfair. Sometimes the people who you are attracted to aren't attracted to you, and that is no fault of their own.

Looks are very important. Let's be real here man, a relationship is a big thing. You don't just enter a relationship with somebody you have no attraction to. Casual sex? Maybe. But a relationship? That shit is permanent.

My first advice to you might be to lower your standards slightly. Don't make the bad mistake of finding a girlfriend you aren't attracted to just to find a girlfriend, but look and see if your crushes might not be slightly out of your league. And hey, nothing wrong with asking out the best of the best, but just realize they might be more likely to say 'no' than plain Jane. Now you might say 'no way am I settling in terms of looks' and that is OK, but it might make your dream girlfriend harder to find.

Furthermore, increase your attractiveness in any way you can. /r/malefashionadvice, etc. Practice socialization--no matter how good and sociable you think you are, you can always be better.

Just remember that like you, she is looking for the best possible guy she can get and somebody she can find a deep emotional connection with. Either learn how to be that guy, find a girl who sees that in you, or lower your standards slightly. Being 'average' looking isn't a death sentence mind you, an attractive personality on somebody can go a LONG way. It can make somebody downright ugly look pretty cute, so don't give up on hope.

  • [-]
  • Sonic_Bluth
  • 11 Points
  • 13:45:42, 25 December

1) We're going to say "don't. Do something else" could you really not have guessed that on your own?

2) looks always matter, but not in the way you might be thinking. Even at 20, the women you meet will have made their peace with the fact that the guys they date will not be the sexiest men alive, but that doesn't mean they have to "settle" to find someone they are genuinely attracted to. The thing about being an average-looking guy is that the average woman is average-looking, too. And, yes, the more "short-term" you go in looking for relationships, the more superficial a person's criteria are going to be. If you're looking for a "relationship," or even just someone you can call a girlfriend, and envying guys getting random quickies from girls who think they're assholes, you're going at it the wrong way.

3) Yes it is...what? Holding evil beliefs is not a good thing for anybody. And average-looking is not ugly!

  • [-]
  • SpermJackalope
  • 6 Points
  • 21:56:59, 25 December

Yeah, and how are these bullshit beliefs working for you, bud? You'd think if you were so correct and right you'd at least be able to get a date.

  • [-]
  • sillypuppy215
  • 3 Points
  • 01:27:26, 26 December

My good friend is 22 and is still a virgin. It's not that weird.

  • [-]
  • aprildh08
  • 1 Points
  • 15:46:42, 26 December

> I've never heard of anyone who hasn't had a girlfriend/boyfriend at my age and I've talked to hundreds of people.

You do know there are 7 billion people in the world, right?

  • [-]
  • breathmintfordragons
  • 26 Points
  • 14:53:48, 25 December

all women don't want the same things; my boyfriend is adorably chubby, so having a muscular body and low body fat are not universally desirable traits

  • [-]
  • bekkjarlalli
  • 19 Points
  • 16:46:17, 25 December

my boyfriend is a skinny stick whos never lifted in his life, and i like him that way. ive had crushes on bigger guys because of their personality and talent. one was an amazing jazz musician. god musicians can win me over any day.

unless theyre like OP and believe a drop of TRP 'truth'. seriously OP fuck that shit

  • [-]
  • twoheadedog
  • 6 Points
  • 23:24:52, 25 December

My boyfriends have always been freakishly skinny. I guess I have a type. They usually weigh close to as much as I do. Bulked up guys turn me off. I like lean muscular too, but I always end up with the skinny guys.

  • [-]
  • slothsie
  • 3 Points
  • 03:44:02, 26 December

I'm quite similar too. Current bf is a stick. I did live near a US airbase for a year. I learned of my love for built but not jacked men... oh man .... oh man...

  • [-]
  • polyhooly
  • 21 Points
  • 16:43:53, 25 December

Here's my advice: You sound desperate and needy as hell. I bet a lot of girls pick up on that. Stop with the "ZOMG I NEED A GIRLFRIEND NOW!!!" attitude. You're also only 20. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 19. Everyone else was not getting laid and having relationships since they were 12.

And "ugly" people get laid and have relationships all the time.

  • [-]
  • 1Like1Crey
  • 22 Points
  • 14:30:49, 25 December

I think you can't find a girlfriend because you're worrying too much about getting a girlfriend. Unplug your ethernet cable and go outside, worrying about 'game' and what internet people think is for losers.

  • [-]
  • terpnaught
  • 18 Points
  • 15:37:55, 25 December

the women you meet probably find you unattractive because of your craving for validation by other people. your post reeks of insecurity. stuff like:

> I also did a little survey in real life and all girls agreed that I'm 'OK' looking.

secure people don't do this

> See, the problem with this type thing is that there are universal human preferences for what's attractive or not.

secure people don't think like this

> Which brings me to my next point – am I fucking unattractive?

insecure people worry about this a lot

What did you want from this post? did you wake up one morning and think "hmm, this lack of action is really getting to me, but I can't think of what to do differently. I know, I'll ask total strangers on the internet and someone will write a magical sequence of words that will tell me THE SECRET"? or do you want validation? do you want other people to say "yeah dude, I'm a 20 year old virgin too! let's be friends"?

did you actually want advice? what advice can we possibly give you? did you actually want answers to

> So, why do you think I can't find a girlfriend? I'm curious, what do you think about my situation?

this question? it sounds like you need to read this, over and over again. why don't you get any dates? it probably has nothing to do with how attractive you are physically, because that doesn't matter for engaging someones interests. attractiveness is good for getting random action at parties and bars. emotional attractiveness and personality qualities that people want to be around will get you dates.

  • [-]
  • slothsie
  • 14 Points
  • 17:23:16, 25 December

You sound extremely melodramatic.

> the problem with this type thing is that there are universal human preferences for what's attractive or not.

I think you're missing the point here. Type can refer to a whole whack of stuff aside from physical aspects. Type can also refer to such things as hobbies, activity and sports, academic. My 'type' when I was your age was a punk/ska/indie type of guy who listened to non-mainstream music and went to this one club around here to enjoy live music.

  • [-]
  • SpermJackalope
  • 48 Points
  • 13:04:32, 25 December

www.captainawkward.com

www.DrNerdlove.com

While it's horribly tragic that you haven't been able to find someone in the TWO WHOLE YEARS you've been trying, we are not a dating service or advice forum, and are not here to fix your problems. The two listed sites, however, will give you some of the best dating, friendship, meeting people, ect advice on the Internet.

  • [-]
  • kareemabduljabbq
  • 13 Points
  • 16:05:31, 25 December

divorce yourself from the idea that being with a woman and bedding her is the only way you can capitulate your masculinity. Understand that this conception of masculinity isn't actually helping you--it's hurting you. Try to figure out where this compulsion comes from, just exactly why you think that this is the way things should be.

Try this exercise. Write down what you think the perfect experience with a woman would be for you. Then examine the themes in that experience. Ask yourself where do they come from? Do they come from you? Or is it something you are enacting, a role that you're playing that you haven't described yourself.

If you can manage to get to a point where you still want to be with somebody but it's not the central focus of your entire being, then you might start to actually interact with people naturally. And when you do that, it means that you'll be treating them like real human beings.

For the average dude meeting someone is all about exposure. Being out there, hanging out with mixed groups of people. Talking to them. Getting to know them, and them getting to know you.

The idea that a woman will just fall in your lap, and abide by your internal understanding of what they should be is, at its face, baldy and ridiculously far-fetched.

The red pill is where angsty guys go, who have been force fed a cultural diet of you have a soulmate, she is your dream babe, and she will do and be everything that you imagine and when they don't get it, turn to an ideology that takes that anger at not being able to fulfill that role, and turns it into resentment. That resentment is then used to try to figure out ways to manipulate women that will probably end up with more failure with women, and then, more resentment. Which inevitably turns into an irrational hatred of women in general, and a perversely distorted view of women, where they cease to be people with feelings, needs, desires, and futures, and become the object with which a guy tries to enact his ultimate power fantasy.

tl;dr no, you weren't put on this earth to be with a woman, and having sex isn't the end all be all of male existence. this pervasive idea is probably poisoning your interaction with women, who probably are well aware of your intentions. free yourself to be around people instead of potential love interests and you might be lucky enough to one day find that someone you've been hanging out with a lot and who likes a lot of the stuff you do, maybe likes you a little bit more than like. What you have is the heavy scent of "creep", a guy acting innocent about their intentions who actually isn't innocent about his intentions.

  • [-]
  • funkless_eck
  • 10 Points
  • 18:10:35, 25 December

Yo. I'm entirely average too. But I'm not preoccupied with other stuff, I have a good balance of romance, career, social life and personal interests. I have never tried any magic spells or learned behaviours, or bought any books or used kooky manipulative techniques that someone has sold me, I've never used canned openers, I've never asked out dozen of girls in sequence, I've never believed there are universal preferences for desire (I've dated girls up to 6in taller than me, for example - I'm quite short and a bit chubby and I have a weird but tasteful dress sense), I've never surveyed girls I know if I'm attractive or not - I've just believed that some people fancy me and some don't, I've never focused on my inner game, I've never had to approach more, I've never had to ask anyone why I've never had a girlfriend, I like what I see in the mirror because I accept who I am, I like how I talk and how I behave because I'm my own person, I'm not jaded and I don't humiliated myself and I don't feel I've failed at being a person or an object of attraction.

What are you doing wrong?

EVERYTHING

You've subscribed to a creepy, manipulative forum that manipulates YOU into feeding it and those it affects into being damaged by it.

The most attractive thing in the world is someone who is pleasant, interesting and interested.

  • [-]
  • alfalfaman
  • 43 Points
  • 13:29:53, 25 December

Since you're a terper and I'm not as nice as some of the people here ai have some special advice: go fuck yourself, anyone thinking trp is a valid system is already clearly showing why they aren't successful with women.

  • [-]
  • the-ok-girl
  • 11 Points
  • 15:12:51, 25 December

I second that!

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 13 Points
  • 15:23:18, 25 December

Thirded, despite suspicion of trollage.

  • [-]
  • adrianaclaire
  • 9 Points
  • 18:02:27, 25 December

FOURTHED

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 10 Points
  • 19:57:31, 25 December

Sixthed!

'cause feeeemales don't math.

  • [-]
  • Sloshtopus
  • 4 Points
  • 03:50:57, 26 December

Eleventiethed!

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 3 Points
  • 05:38:53, 26 December

I ran out of fingers.

  • [-]
  • not_impressive
  • 11 Points
  • 13:04:45, 25 December

I second /u/Dovienya on their statement that /r/askwomen is a better place for this. But firstly, you're probably looking at this in the wrong way. Sorry for wall of text.

Everyone has different definitions of "attractive". If you were really muscular and manly, there would still be a lot of straight women who would find you incredibly unattractive.

It seems like the reason you can't find a girlfriend is just due to chance - the vast majority of women don't enter into romantic relationships just because the guy looks like a model.

The women whom you asked out, who said that they see you as a friend, probably actually do just see you as a friend. They're happy with your relationship the way it is now. The women who said that you're not their type have standards that you don't fit into, obviously, but they might not entirely be physical standards. You're not a good match for them, and they're not a good match for you.

Attractiveness, for the majority of people, is influenced by emotions. Genuine kindness, not just get-in-her-pants kindness, is attractive. It's most likely that the reason you don't have a girlfriend is either because you're still doing some PUA things even though you don't entirely notice it, like thinking of relationships as something that you get points for in a friendship before advancing to the next level. If not, you just haven't found someone who is a good match for you, which is pretty much just a matter of chance.

Cheer up, terper, and try to let go of some of your ideology. Then things will likely be a lot better.

  • [-]
  • Bluepillschool
  • 9 Points
  • 13:40:03, 25 December

Letting go of your ideology is probably key. It actually isn't that hard to tell who hates your very guts for your sex/gender.

  • [-]
  • Am3fucksad
  • -15 Points
  • 13:29:38, 25 December

Don't you believe that there are universal preferences for attraction, like a symmetrical face?

It's also that out of the hundreds of women I've socialized with, none gave me any extra attention, at least, say, trying to converse with me on their own accord. I'd say I've taken my chances.

If a woman likes me as a friend, but not as a boyfriend, this means that she's not sexually attracted to me, which brings us back to what I said earlier about universal preferences for attraction.

  • [-]
  • SpermJackalope
  • 28 Points
  • 13:39:05, 25 December

You know ugly folks do get laid, right?

Jesus, the fact that you're a whiney jerk is why no one wants to date you.

  • [-]
  • invaderpixel
  • 16 Points
  • 17:56:38, 25 December

Shh, theredpill is definitely going to teach him how to get a symmetrical face.

  • [-]
  • MeganAG
  • 20 Points
  • 13:45:37, 25 December

I've had plenty of guy friends I was sexually attracted to but wouldn't date. That just means we're not compatible romantically.

For example, I'm perfectly willing to put up with whininess or laziness in a friend, but not in an SO. I can put up with arrogance and mild rudeness in a friend, but I don't want to date someone like that.

  • [-]
  • DreadnoughtAndi
  • 8 Points
  • 17:38:00, 25 December

I have guy friends I find attractive but would never date because I already know we're not romantically compatible.

  • [-]
  • aprildh08
  • 1 Points
  • 15:54:24, 26 December

> It's also that out of the hundreds of women I've socialized with, none gave me any extra attention, at least, say, trying to converse with me on their own accord.

Maybe you're just boring.

  • [-]
  • twr3x
  • 10 Points
  • 13:39:27, 25 December

Get your mind right. It may seem pointless if you're already not getting any, but swear off dating for a while. How can you love someone else if you don't love yourself? You can't. You'll get attached and infatuated and whatever, but you won't be able to give and receive love.

Be confident. Realize that there's more to life than having a girlfriend or getting laid. Realize that even the most gorgeous people in the world have been rejected. Realize that a confident smile and a good conversation can do a lot more than just looking pretty. I've seen exes wind up with super mediocre-looking dudes because their personalities are more in line with what these women want from a long-term thing than mine.

Keep moving forward. If someone isn't interested, move on. Be their friend or don't, but don't sit around trying to figure out how to make them come around, because it'll strain your relationship with them, make you look worse to others, and make you feel worse about yourself. Most things won't work out. That's why there's the social concept of the One, not the Fifty Percent Or More Of Women I've Ever Been Attracted To. I'm seeing someone I really like right now, but before that, I did very well for myself with women. I constantly get hit on, get compliments on my clothes, get drinks bought for me when I'm out, etc., but I still got rejected more than I was successful.

If you look average, be above average. Who's gonna go, "Well, he looks average, his clothes are not bad but don't make him stand out, and he's constantly concerned with the fact that he doesn't have a girlfriend and boo hoo girls don't like him. Why should I bother?" I wonder how many of the women you asked why women don't like you would have been interested if you weren't the type of cat who cared so much that women didn't like him.

  • [-]
  • fb95dd7063
  • 11 Points
  • 16:59:27, 25 December

>So, why do you think I can't find a girlfriend?

It's because you're trying too hard. Fairly or not, effort and desperation are easily confused. Tone it back and chill out.

  • [-]
  • YourOldPalHoward
  • 26 Points
  • 13:22:27, 25 December

Looks like a classic case of Nice Guy Syndrome.

Stay away from TRP. That shit will make you toxic to any respectable woman, trust me.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -21 Points
  • 18:09:46, 25 December

> any respectable woman

Can you define what exactly this is?

  • [-]
  • HowRudeCanPeopleBe
  • 13 Points
  • 19:40:11, 25 December

NEG

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 17 Points
  • 19:21:19, 25 December

A respectable woman is one who doesn't hate herself or other women enough to be with a man who believes that the vast majority of women are incapable of love and fidelity.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -15 Points
  • 19:27:33, 25 December

That post does not state that women are incapable of love. It states that a women is capable of love, but it is different from how a man love a women.

Tell me, how many women, as a man, have you had long term relationships with?

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 20 Points
  • 19:56:18, 25 December

"She doesn't love you. She loves her attraction to you.

I'm going to repeat this because it is that important - She doesn't love you, she only loves her attraction to you."

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -11 Points
  • 20:03:12, 25 December

I don't see where it says a women is incapable of love. Maybe you should repeat it a few more times

  • [-]
  • SpermJackalope
  • 14 Points
  • 22:01:29, 25 December

Please tell me more about how women feel, clearly you're an expert on the subject.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -11 Points
  • 22:12:16, 25 December

Soft and warm, squishy, and if they like you, wet

  • [-]
  • huenixion
  • 9 Points
  • 01:18:56, 26 December

Way to conflate emotional feels and physical feels broseiden, lord of the brocean.

  • [-]
  • barbadosslim
  • 5 Points
  • 01:42:32, 26 December

You're broken. Fix yourself.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -6 Points
  • 05:11:42, 26 December

I am, you should come round and fix me. I'll even get wine

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 9 Points
  • 05:40:32, 26 December

I imagine people get a lot of whine with you.

  • [-]
  • YourOldPalHoward
  • 23 Points
  • 18:20:05, 25 December

Not for someone named "scottishredpill," no. Sorry.

  • [-]
  • Dovienya
  • 28 Points
  • 18:55:31, 25 December

I am niggerhater73, explain to me what is wrong with the white supremacist movement! The discourse will be rational and polite, I swear!

  • [-]
  • YourOldPalHoward
  • 11 Points
  • 19:00:08, 25 December

Well put!

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -19 Points
  • 18:52:53, 25 December

Why not?

  • [-]
  • YourOldPalHoward
  • 10 Points
  • 18:59:58, 25 December

See Dovienya's comment. That's why.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -14 Points
  • 19:04:49, 25 December

My name isn't niggerhater73. It's a rubbish comment.

Is it because you do not know how to define what a respectable women is?

  • [-]
  • YourOldPalHoward
  • 23 Points
  • 19:07:54, 25 December

> My name isn't niggerhater73.

-woosh-

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -14 Points
  • 19:17:08, 25 December

No, I get it. It's childish and not very funny, there is no point in taking it serious.

My mistake for trying to engage in an adult conversation, I've been advised to post on PPD. I will tag you to include you in the conversation if you want to participate.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 8 Points
  • 19:59:26, 25 December

No u

  • [-]
  • huenixion
  • 5 Points
  • 01:17:21, 26 December

GIT TAE FUCK CUNT

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -4 Points
  • 02:20:31, 26 December

Haha, I like you

  • [-]
  • hungerartist_
  • 8 Points
  • 03:15:10, 26 December

Git tae fukkkk

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -5 Points
  • 04:08:31, 26 December

Fuck off bawsac

  • [-]
  • hungerartist_
  • 7 Points
  • 04:38:45, 26 December

square go ya wee bawbag

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -4 Points
  • 05:00:38, 26 December

You messin' wit me pal, I'll knock you oot

  • [-]
  • HowRudeCanPeopleBe
  • 4 Points
  • 07:50:11, 26 December

try hard

  • [-]
  • aprildh08
  • 2 Points
  • 15:50:52, 26 December

>any respectable ~~wo~~man

Can you define what exactly this is? If so, the same thing, but someone who identifies as a woman. It's not fucking rocket science, asshole.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -4 Points
  • 17:02:26, 26 December

Woah, someone get out the wrong side of the bed? Did I rustle your jimmies? Calm down dear, have a cup of tea.

I know what I think is a respectable women, or man. I was asking the person who made the statement to define what they thought a respectable woman was. Because from my personal experience, "respectable" women love a RP man.

  • [-]
  • bonebroth
  • 10 Points
  • 16:48:24, 25 December

There are so many things that could be going wrong with your "game." It's really impossible for us to explain your pick-up failures without knowing anything about how you interact with women. Yeah, maybe you're ugly. Being unattractive will certainly hinder your ability to... attract people. But looks really aren't everything--ugly people get laid/married all the time. Maybe you're rude, boring, smelly, creepy, superficial, threatening or any combination thereof. Maybe you're chasing after incompatible women or your standards are too high. Maybe you're trying to pick-up women at the wrong times, in the wrong places, with the wrong approaches. All we can give you is generic advice--reflect on what about you needs fixing and try to fix it--but we can't offer you real answers.

  • [-]
  • warriorsmurf
  • 8 Points
  • 17:41:05, 25 December

Some people are late bloomers. Get some interests and hobbies. Be kind to people who can't necessarily do anything for you.

  • [-]
  • jonesie1988
  • 8 Points
  • 18:27:02, 25 December

>For example, a muscular body and low body fat percentage are universally desirable traits in a man.

I actually prefer chubby men and don't really like a lot of muscle definition. Am I broken?

You haven't been trying that long, finding someone takes time. Are you funny? Interesting? Passionate about something? What do you bring to the table? Why should a woman want to date you?

  • [-]
  • TheLizardMonarch
  • 6 Points
  • 20:11:30, 25 December

People are all different in what they consider attractive. Not all women find anything less than Channing Tatum unattractive. Personally, despite of what TRP says about the "Wall", the women I find most attractive are late twenties to early thirties and I'm not even twenty.

  • [-]
  • hungerartist_
  • 7 Points
  • 03:13:29, 26 December

If you're "average" then you're in the same boat looks-wise as most guys, so we can exclude that factor. My guess is that it's your attitude. No offense but if you're the kind of guy who hangs around TRP and PUA forums and that's the way you look at women... That shows. And it isn't attractive.

  • [-]
  • you_been_mangoed
  • 3 Points
  • 00:26:37, 26 December

Hey man! Just so you know, my comment here isn't going to be satirical (for once). I think your last edit stands out the most to me:

>I've come to realize that I don't really like what I see in the mirror. I don't like how I talk or how I behave.

If you're moderately healthy, don't stink, aren't greasy, and have good skin and a haircut that suits your face, you're probably doing fine in the realm of male physical attractiveness. However, physical attractiveness can be completely overshadowed by behavior that turns people off, so if you think you have behaviors (either in speech or body language) that aren't serving you well, it's probably a good idea to take care of those ASAP.

I don't know which behaviors you have that you dislike, but since you indicated that you're self-conscious, I'm going to go ahead and take a guess. It might sound like really basic stuff, and the acronyms are pretty cheesy, but please give it a read-through and assess yourself honestly. Do you make sure you always FELOR and PLAN when speaking to people (especially women, since you're seeking a gf)?

FELOR:

  • Face the person you're talking to
  • make reasonable Eye contact
  • Lean slightly towards the speaker, but don't get in their personal space
  • maintain an Open posture - don't cross your legs or arms
  • Relax your posture - don't fidget or show other signs of tension

PLAN:

  • Pause comfortably - don't rush to fill in conversation gaps
  • Listen to the speaker
  • Ask questions related to what the speaker is talking about to get clarification or more information
  • Nod to indicate that you're following what the speaker's saying and give them the go-ahead

Here's the reason I asked that question: Being self-conscious can give you the bad habit of placing your focus on yourself instead of someone you're speaking to (ie. while talking to a girl you like, you may be wondering if she thinks you're unattractive, or if you said something stupid, or if you're acting appropriately, etc instead of actively listening to her). It's not your fault, but it has an unfair outcome; if the speaker sees that you're distracted, he/she will most likely assume you aren't interested. Being visibly distracted is a pretty blatant social cue of "I have things other than this that I'd rather be doing." Needless to say, if this happens while you're talking to a woman, you can pretty much guarantee she'll stop entertaining any thoughts of you as a potential love interest. Why would she waste time on somebody who doesn't seem to feel the same way?

Does that help at all? Either way, I do hope things get better for you!

  • [-]
  • Bmonkey5
  • 9 Points
  • 18:36:02, 25 December

SO you're an hideous beta redbitch? Big fucking deal.

  • [-]
  • Sloshtopus
  • 3 Points
  • 03:49:35, 26 December

>I've come to realize that I don't really like what I see in the mirror. I don't like how I talk or how I behave.

No one else likes whiny dildos, either.

  • [-]
  • JoanRiversVagina
  • 2 Points
  • 05:43:49, 26 December

we can't really give you advice as we are just here to make fun of those idiots over at the red pill and maybe talk about why they are wrong.

  • [-]
  • thelamset
  • 2 Points
  • 07:17:08, 26 December

First of all, good for you that you talk about it. I think you got a lot of good feedback, even here.

> See, the problem with this type thing is that there are universal human preferences for what's attractive or not.

Seems to me that you're conflating your specific individual problems with this abstract, negative and wrong rationalization, this typically allows one to not deal with personal vulnerabilities directly. Yes, there are culture independent markers of attractiveness, and attractiveness is in general beneficial, but the correlations don't really go far. They don't predetermine your life at all. Folk psychology stuff like TRP omits a lot of important details. Majority of people meet their partners via mutual friends, and the random stranger in a bar/wherever story is rare in reality (another reason it's good to have friends). And first relationships can happen in late 20s and later and it's OK.

Apart from doing the self-help thing and talking with friends, have you considered seeing a counsellor or a therapist (CBT maybe)? With some luck/research you'll find someone who can provide perspective and help immensely with processes like coping with loneliness, defining a positive identity, handling self esteem, body image, interpersonal expectations and communication.

  • [-]
  • Karissa36
  • 1 Points
  • 19:42:15, 25 December

Very likely you are looking for a girlfriend out of your league. This is basically doomed to fail unless only the 2 of you are stuck on a deserted island.