What do you mean when you say porn is "just a thing"? (self.AskMen)

{AskMen}

6 ups - 2 downs = 4 votes

I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now, but I have deep rooted security issues (body image/self worth). My SO said he stopped watching porn when we got together (a decision not influenced by me) but I recently found a subscription of his to a porno website (he saved a password doc to an account we share), and confronted him about it. First he lied about it, but then he said it was only there because he wanted to manage all the accounts he had and anyway it started a big fight between us because I have severe jealousy issues due to being cheated on in every other serious relationship I've ever been in.

Anyway he tried explaining to me that porn is, in his words "just a thing" and that it didn't matter. He tells me he never looked for anything specific or certain girls, but he admitted to only liking amateur porn (which I think is worse than liking the fake production pornos). I have no idea what he meant when he said it's "just a thing", how can it be? I can't see it meaning anything other than I'm not good enough. Can any of you help me understand this?

Edit: I should mention that we do fool around on skype (masturbate together), if that counts for anything. And in my defense, I never once asked him to stop watching porn, I didn't even imply that I wanted him to, he just mentioned that he had stopped of his own accord.

TL;DR: Found my SO's porno website after he said he stopped watching when we got together. His excuse was that porn is "just a thing", what does he mean by that?

29 comments submitted at 20:27:22 on Mar 20, 2013 by [deleted]

  • [-]
  • kukul
  • 20 Points
  • 20:33:06, 20 March

Are you nuts? You're in a long distance relationship and you expect your boyfriend to be jacking it while staring at the wall, because you are insecure? Fuck me.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 2 Points
  • 20:44:27, 20 March

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • ExtraordinaryGuy
  • 6 Points
  • 20:50:09, 20 March

The most likely answer of why he said he stopped is because he could tell that's what you wanted to hear regardless of what you think of "never once asking him to not watch porn."

  • [-]
  • kukul
  • 4 Points
  • 20:50:38, 20 March

So he wanted to drop a habit of his own volition and just as you discover evidence that he had a moment of weakness in that process, you start giving him shit. Is that healthy in your opinion?

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 2 Points
  • 20:56:19, 20 March

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • thebayway
  • 2 Points
  • 21:13:19, 20 March

I realize that watching porn could potentially make my girl jealous or insecure. He probably does, too. He told you what he thought you wanted to hear.

You're allowed to be upset that he lied to you, but part of his motivation for lying was protecting your feelings.

  • [-]
  • kukul
  • 2 Points
  • 21:02:18, 20 March

Maybe it's because you pushed him to a point where he'd rather lie than deal with your shit? You had no business commenting on the progress of his own resolution in the first place.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 21:10:53, 20 March

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • kukul
  • 2 Points
  • 21:16:22, 20 March

http://i.imgur.com/PNYRZ.gif