This thing has been sitting in my house ever since we found it walled up in our garage during a remodel. (self.WhatsInThisThing)

3313 ups - 2640 downs = 673 votes

http://i.imgur.com/CAL78z5.jpg

Been really curious about this thing, but haven't bothered to mess with it till now since i just have been too busy and haven't had the extra cash for a locksmith for a safe thats prolly empty anyway, but now the curiosity might get the best of me.

Its about 5 feet by 4 and a half feet, and we needed a 4000 lb pallet jack to move it out of the way so we could finish out the floor under it, and wall behind it. Bought the house 3 years ago, found it 6 months ago.

pics of contents.

http://imgur.com/a/Bagcc

http://imgur.com/a/VelHS

video of first binder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y64uim-Y9K4&feature=youtu.be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y64uim-Y9K4&feature=youtu.be

Yes it was fake, funny though. My actual first plan was a lot better, but the wife wouldn't let me do it. The original plan was to have our cousin in the safe and my brother playing the locksmith getting it open, as the safe opened we would complain about a sudden horrible smell, and little bits of black ooze, played by hersheys syrup would have dripped out the door, then as the door was opening and we move into look at the very dark safe suddenly a goo soaked hand would pop out and splat against the outside of the safe followed by running and screaming for the door all cloverfield style.

Instead I had to resort to giant nerd treasure which seems to have also been pretty fun to a lot of people. The cards are all very much real and certainly for sale if someone can offer a decent price, as are the gems, not so much on the bank notes but they do look really cool, and no none of the cards were damaged by little baby hands, despite how it may look cards in sleeves are not hurt that easily, also no the baby was not staged, its just hard to keep her out of stuff cuz she is fast like cheetah.

Long live the lulz! Hope most people at least enjoyed the ride.

And no not for karma, thus throwaway account, this was purely for lulz.

1625 comments submitted at 17:35:47 on Mar 18, 2013 by Safeisbig

  • [-]
  • thekidd142
  • 2181 Points
  • 15:45:27, 20 March

Because work is slow today, here's why it's fake:

The link of the person posting the video of what's in the safe: http://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsInThisThing/comments/1amhuy/openingthebiggreysafe/c8ywtss

That video on youtube is posted by the account "dietotaku" http://www.youtube.com/user/dietotaku?feature=watch

The username itself is fairly active on reddit: http://aa-bh.reddit.com/user/dietotaku?count=25&after=t1_c8xh6fj

A google search shows that username to be fairly unique, and the first hit is an OKC page of someone who's now married to a guy who plays magic a lot, including FNMs: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/dietotaku

That guy's username, is randommiser: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/randommiser

Random Miser being a light magic reference. A google search of that username reveals several things. Firstly, the guy owns some pimp stuff: http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/randommiser/2bd0108a72921e441fef5d58089bd814.jpg?v=151650

Also, this username is pretty active on reddit as well, http://www.reddit.com/user/Random-Miser?sort=top

including some random alters: http://www.reddit.com/r/magicTCG/comments/ixwds/imakealteredartmagicthegathering_cards/

And most notably a nearly complete set of beta, antiquities, legends, etc: http://www.texasmagiczone.com/forums/archive/index.php?t-2622.html

All of that is fairly circumstantial, but perhaps the most most notable piece of evidence is this link: http://classic.magictraders.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/024468-2.html

Where Random Miser posts an image of his collection and includes an image of the same playmat shown in the "vault" http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/randommiser/336d2c6a8c0245d4e4f503e30fac19a0.jpg?v=269400

Oh, and the same "alters" http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/randommiser/480185053e3ab96aff7f1b94701dc8e2.jpg?v=151650

with a simple comparison http://imgur.com/mz8L2pm

It's fake and the internet should know better.

edit: thanks for the reddit gold random person! my years of internet-sleuth training has finally paid off.

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 922 Points
  • 16:28:53, 20 March

frown

  • [-]
  • thekidd142
  • 444 Points
  • 16:35:35, 20 March

Yeah I'm really sorry you had to go through all that work to total up the values. Credit to you for being so positive. The first thing you probably thought when you say it was that was real. The first thing I thought when i saw it was that it was fake. This probably says more about our individual outlook on life. Suddenly I'm very sad :(

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 370 Points
  • 16:46:39, 20 March

Don't be sad, look at all the due diligence you did! Thank you for that! I go 'antiquing' for cards and collections so finding something like this meant a lot to me personally, I think is why I did all I did here. It's unfortunate that people would take advantage of the Internet for imaginary karma points. Not to mention the 4 hours of extra sleep I could have got and not been dragging ass today!

Chin up, friend. The world is a beautiful place. If anything, maybe the exposure here will remind other folks that they've got some hidden treasures stored away! (Also, F that zendikar print run)

  • [-]
  • AlmostAlwaysLurking
  • 135 Points
  • 17:08:56, 20 March

if it makes a difference, I'm going to take some time out of day to do some serious work for the op...

I'll show him what he's really found in that safe...

  • [-]
  • ThaBomb
  • 23 Points
  • 18:06:55, 20 March

3 day old account, obvious throwaway. I am sad to say justice will more than likely not be served. Best we can do is shower these two valiant posters in upvotes.

  • [-]
  • Pamander
  • 15 Points
  • 18:13:18, 20 March

Well he posted their other accounts.. Just the one has buttloads of karma as it is.

  • [-]
  • danc4498
  • 1 Points
  • 20:06:45, 20 March

I feel like we haven't seen the end of this story. Suggesting that an active user Random-Miser is at the heart of this troll makes me wonder what his response might be...

  • [-]
  • Kraazyy
  • 5 Points
  • 19:56:03, 20 March

Take him to /r/KarmaCourt and let justice be done.

  • [-]
  • dont_stop_me_smee
  • 71 Points
  • 18:19:09, 20 March

Thanks so much for your input anyway! Can we flair you as an official expert? :)

  • [-]
  • googie_g15
  • 53 Points
  • 18:28:54, 20 March

What are you doing wasting time offering flair? Get back to opening that safe!

  • [-]
  • devillius1
  • 6 Points
  • 19:19:47, 20 March

I second that.

  • [-]
  • PretendsToBeThings
  • 7 Points
  • 19:51:14, 20 March

As the person locked in the safe, I third it.

  • [-]
  • devillius1
  • 7 Points
  • 19:52:34, 20 March

Stop pretending to be things you aren't. This is the internet and we tell the truth.

  • [-]
  • eck0
  • 2 Points
  • 19:50:28, 20 March

"Magic master"

  • [-]
  • theredbaronx
  • 21 Points
  • 17:18:29, 20 March

OP is about to get nerd-lynched.

  • [-]
  • YouGeetBadJob
  • 9 Points
  • 17:09:27, 20 March

Great outlook. Much luck to you on your antiquing.

  • [-]
  • maskdmirag
  • 20 Points
  • 17:06:52, 20 March

Exactly, this didn't get best of because if the collection, it got it because of your awesome post, even if it was all for "nothing" got a ton of people nostalgic about the magic days

  • [-]
  • i_had_fun
  • 2 Points
  • 18:18:08, 20 March

Yup, it was just yesterday when I dropped Thragtusk in an FFA at my local Magic bar.

  • [-]
  • hihasu
  • 5 Points
  • 18:36:03, 20 March

You both did a great job. Even if this was fake, JubilationLee, you still made my day a little brighter. I love that you both worked so intense with the only difference being if you thought it was real or fake. That's a great quality, dedicating yourself like that.

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 10 Points
  • 18:40:22, 20 March

I am happy to hear that, friend! The opposite perspective thing is neat. I bet we would make a tag team that would rival Salt N' Peppa

  • [-]
  • faultlessjoint
  • 5 Points
  • 17:15:41, 20 March

nowkiss.jpg

Seriously though, props to both of you for the hard work and making my internet a more enjoyable place.

  • [-]
  • kyclef
  • 6 Points
  • 18:06:29, 20 March

The MTG subreddit has been full of posts today from people who remembered they had cards because of your sleuthing, and the conversations with them have been great. You may have fed a troll, but you also fed some hopes, and imagination, and speculation. All was not for naught!

  • [-]
  • tory108
  • 3 Points
  • 18:02:46, 20 March

I hope I love anything with as pure a heart as you love this game.

  • [-]
  • KnitNotPurl
  • 4 Points
  • 18:24:56, 20 March

As his fiancee I hope so too!

  • [-]
  • Changeitupnow
  • 3 Points
  • 18:37:45, 20 March

You are a very, very nice person. Admirable, really.

I like you.

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 9 Points
  • 18:47:11, 20 March

YOU'RE HANDSOME

  • [-]
  • Changeitupnow
  • 4 Points
  • 18:57:07, 20 March

I'm blushing!

  • [-]
  • millionmangmarch
  • 5 Points
  • 18:01:30, 20 March

thekidd142 and JubilationLee need to have a television/web show wherein they determine the validity of claims. Somewhat MythBusters but traveling so that different locations are shown weekly... X-Files meets MythBusters.

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 14 Points
  • 18:11:13, 20 March

I'll need time to grow a handlebar mustache, and brush up on my knowledge of explosives, but I am so in.

Now hiring: hot redhead and token black guy

  • [-]
  • bocanegra
  • 7 Points
  • 18:34:17, 20 March

I am mexican, willing to fill in the minority quota if a token black guy doesn't show up. PM if interested.

  • [-]
  • Shaeos
  • 7 Points
  • 19:11:36, 20 March

Female, moderately attractive, looks fantastic as a curly redhead and just geeky enough about a little bit of everything with bulldozing, welding and construction experience applying to break shit for you.

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 4 Points
  • 19:15:37, 20 March

...do you come with an arc-welder or bulldozer?

  • [-]
  • Shaeos
  • 7 Points
  • 19:30:01, 20 March

Oxy-acetylene okay? I couldn't store the arc when I moved into tiny apartment and my boyfriend said it was him or my killdozer....

  • [-]
  • RocketPapaya413
  • 1 Points
  • 20:06:58, 20 March

So you went with the killdozer, right? I mean, obviously.

  • [-]
  • skyman724
  • 2 Points
  • 19:33:59, 20 March

We're gonna need some proof.

No fakes allowed in this thread. Also, I would actually like to see the above-mentioned idea happen for real.

  • [-]
  • Shaeos
  • 1 Points
  • 19:39:19, 20 March

I have no pictures of me with red curly hair as I'm growing it back to natural and of me on a bulldozer was lost when a fucker stole my phone. Do... You... Want me to go take a picture of me breaking something? W-would that count? (exaggerated for lols? Yes. Lies? No.)

  • [-]
  • skyman724
  • 1 Points
  • 19:40:16, 20 March

We just need to know that you're female.

The rest can wait.

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  • [-]
  • devillius1
  • 2 Points
  • 19:20:40, 20 March

Token Black guy reporting for duty.

FYI: I'm not totally black, halfway there though. Brown.

  • [-]
  • spladow
  • 3 Points
  • 18:15:17, 20 March

I think of them as being more like Ben Wyatt and Chris Traeger rolling into town.

  • [-]
  • TenTypesofBread
  • 2 Points
  • 17:41:01, 20 March

Awww. I hope the knowledge that you made a lot of people's days because of your enthusiasm helps you get through this one!

  • [-]
  • StagnantUI
  • 1 Points
  • 18:58:38, 20 March

Hey, hope this helps. I'm a rookie MTG collector/player, and even just reading your post and hearing the excitement in your words was pretty great. Put a smile on my face for sure, I know I wish I had something I was so invested in! So, yeah even though this guy was a fake karmawhore, other people did appreciate what you had to post :)

  • [-]
  • Strato_Avis
  • 1 Points
  • 19:16:15, 20 March

Thanks for the spreadsheet, though. I haven't seen it yet since ~~apparently the Google docs servers are down right now~~ you all broke the servers. My older brother used to collect MTG cards too, and they're currently in my closet, 2 shoeboxes full of them, each card in a sleeve. I'll take some time this weekend to check them out. Who knows? I might just find something valuable.

  • [-]
  • Xiphwork
  • 2 Points
  • 18:30:45, 20 March

Im with you buddy, following logic, nobody locks that type of collection up and forgets about it.

  • [-]
  • m40ofmj
  • 2 Points
  • 19:54:10, 20 March

you could pitch yourselves as sherlock holmes meets the odd couple, and get a basic cable show. one is optimistic, one is pessimistic, and they both like to figure shit out! coming this fall!

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  • [-]
  • HobKing
  • 4 Points
  • 16:43:51, 20 March

Well, at least you got an exciting night out of it!.... Right?

  • [-]
  • PotatoMusicBinge
  • 2 Points
  • 18:02:50, 20 March

If it makes you feel any better: because of your post I'm now interested in this game (and I assume I'm not alone)

  • [-]
  • RichardWang
  • 2 Points
  • 18:03:07, 20 March

I really thought that it was real only because in the video he was letting that freaking baby man-handle the supposedly super rare/valuable pages of cards. Seemed like a serious collector wouldn't let children get near his rare cards.

  • [-]
  • Pamander
  • 2 Points
  • 18:12:26, 20 March

You might want to put this in your post at the top so new people coming here see it. (I came here from best of and it took me a long time to find this)

  • [-]
  • fera_acedia
  • 2 Points
  • 19:56:33, 20 March

aw, jubilation

hug

  • [-]
  • Messerchief
  • 1 Points
  • 17:51:53, 20 March

Don't be sad. You did good work, ma'am. We appreciate it! :)

  • [-]
  • Sojoez
  • 1 Points
  • 17:55:01, 20 March

At least you know that those ultra valuable cards are being kept safe and wont be given to the toddler as playthings.

  • [-]
  • spiderman_666
  • 1 Points
  • 18:11:45, 20 March

Damn man, I'm really sorry you went through all that too. Watching the video I repeatedly shouted "NO! OH MY GAWD! NO! AHHH!" And thus had a similar excited reaction to it. Add to the fact that I randomly dreamed about playing someone with all the Power cards, (maybe the first dream that I've had about MTG ever) I thought it may be an omen. Especially since I didn't see this post till this morning.

  • [-]
  • laurenbug2186
  • 1 Points
  • 19:39:11, 20 March

Hey, at least someone does have such an awesome collection! Even if it's not OP.

  • [-]
  • gologologolo
  • 1 Points
  • 20:00:24, 20 March

> The cards are all very much real and certainly for sale if someone can offer a decent price

The nerves

  • [-]
  • pamboat
  • 116 Points
  • 16:28:55, 20 March

Anyone else feel bad for JubilationLee. They took all the time into making a spreadsheet and everything. OP not cool.

  • [-]
  • Andorage
  • 21 Points
  • 17:11:01, 20 March

thankfully he got gold and a shit-ton of karma

  • [-]
  • one_among_the_fence
  • 19 Points
  • 17:12:39, 20 March

*she

  • [-]
  • ShitGuysWeForgotDre
  • 35 Points
  • 17:26:57, 20 March

A she-ton of karma? How much is that exactly?

  • [-]
  • BrocoLee
  • 46 Points
  • 17:36:05, 20 March

The same as a He-ton of karma, less the privileges.

  • [-]
  • Grizzalbee
  • 7 Points
  • 18:02:00, 20 March

actually only about 70% of a he-ton

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  • [-]
  • PoundOfFlesh
  • 112 Points
  • 16:02:23, 20 March

Great job sleuthing. I'm sorry I have but one upvote to give. Lesson to be learned: If you're going to go for an elaborate hoax, you better cover your tracks better than this.

Also, it was just a little fishy to begin with. Reddit's had a "What's in the safe" boner for a couple days now. All cocked up and nowhere to blow, I guess this brought some satisfaction many searched for. It's very suspicious that all of a sudden this guy/girl happens to have a locked safe with tens of thousands of dollars worth of MTG cards. Seems like the whole thing was custom-made to rile up fanboys (Look at the top post). Finally, looking at the okc profiles, these two look exactly like what I picture they would look like.

  • [-]
  • StripeyEdge
  • 16 Points
  • 16:30:36, 20 March

To add to this, the user account was created 3 days ago, when the erection started. Well timed.

  • [-]
  • SuperbusAtheos
  • 7 Points
  • 17:07:00, 20 March

I think you should get that checked out...

More Comments - Not Stored
  • [-]
  • kindofawardance
  • 81 Points
  • 16:14:11, 20 March

It's the greatest /r/KarmaConspiracy of all time. i just witnessed it. great job, dude.

  • [-]
  • Wanth
  • 10 Points
  • 18:41:17, 20 March

Twist. Thekid142 made that acc posted the fake, solved the problem on his real acc. Sitt back and collect karma.

  • [-]
  • JordanMiller406
  • 9 Points
  • 16:40:01, 20 March

Though they are self posts.

  • [-]
  • Messerchief
  • 12 Points
  • 17:49:20, 20 March

They were attempting to farm karma on a post that you don't get karma for!

It's the perfect crime!

  • [-]
  • VesuvanDoppelganger
  • 21 Points
  • 17:18:36, 20 March

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Reddit got Roy Spires'd.

For those of you who don't know about this human shitstain, he was claiming that his "GF painted this" before reddit even existed. He's the shady, smelly character who hangs out at Magic tournaments trying to find little kids to rip off in trades. Also a professional troll.

  • [-]
  • preludeoflight
  • 31 Points
  • 15:57:56, 20 March

That about sums it up. Looks like we can all go home now. Excellent work, detective.

More Comments - Not Stored
  • [-]
  • BlakeJustBlake
  • 11 Points
  • 16:53:28, 20 March

I feel bad for the girl who stayed up all night losing her shit and making a spreadsheet over this.

Edit: incorrect gender language

  • [-]
  • JuliaDD
  • 3 Points
  • 19:42:39, 20 March

it was a girl.

  • [-]
  • Str8-Grizzly
  • 18 Points
  • 15:59:18, 20 March

Nice work thekidd.. I've been not-so-patiently waiting for OP to come back on but I bet he's reading all this now and just laughing.

  • [-]
  • FlushingToilet
  • 30 Points
  • 15:57:07, 20 March

so OP makes this story up, but uses videos from Youtube account "dietotaku". "Dietotaku" is married to a guy named "Randomiser", who owns crazy Magic shit.

If that's the case, then how do you explain the videos ? there's no way the "Dietotaku" not know that "Randomiser"'s Magic collection was worth a shitload of money. having that shitty little baby grab on those cards had to be pure ignorance on the actual value of those cards.

maybe you're right, but i'm playing devil's advocate here.

  • [-]
  • thekidd142
  • 62 Points
  • 16:01:39, 20 March

If you look on the past part of this page: http://classic.magictraders.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/024468-2.html

It explains that random-miser is proficient at making proxies (fakes) for magic cards. There's nothing to stop him from making a bunch and letting the kid tear at it. Or at certain pages (fake) and not others (real).

Also worth noting that the OKC page specifies that the two of them had a kid in 2011. Putting the kid at right around toddler age: http://imgur.com/qFXwwKh

  • [-]
  • delqhic
  • 26 Points
  • 16:26:41, 20 March

What I don't get is why OP's partner has a regularly updated OKCupid page if they're still together?

  • [-]
  • bobandy47
  • 18 Points
  • 16:51:59, 20 March

Threesomes.

  • [-]
  • KellerWVU
  • 15 Points
  • 16:51:23, 20 March

She credits OKC for getting her hitched. Prob just an emotional attachment to it now.

  • [-]
  • lyra256
  • 7 Points
  • 16:52:06, 20 March

You can use OKC to find friends too-- it's just less common.

  • [-]
  • NeedaDM
  • 6 Points
  • 17:07:26, 20 March

His profile says he is 'available'. Her profile says she has been unsuccessful at getting him to 'update' his profile'. He just sounds like a shitbag.

  • [-]
  • t3ss4
  • 6 Points
  • 17:33:03, 20 March

Or he just has more important things to do than update his OKC profile.

  • [-]
  • NeedaDM
  • 5 Points
  • 17:46:37, 20 March

It takes 30 seconds at most (5 seconds if you actually know where to click). And keeping a dating profile online holding yourself out as single and available where girls will send you private messages asking for dates is pretty fucking shady. I'd be furious if my SO didn't take theirs down after we were dating seriously, much less married.

  • [-]
  • t3ss4
  • 3 Points
  • 18:25:44, 20 March

Yeah, fair enough. My point was that it might not necessarily be "shady" - some guys might not see it like that, and instead think, "Okay, I have a girlfriend now, might as well ignore that old OKC profile." I just don't necessarily think there has to be a bad intent here.

  • [-]
  • delqhic
  • 3 Points
  • 16:57:35, 20 March

Fair enough, I didn't know that.

  • [-]
  • ctrl-alt-acct
  • 1 Points
  • 17:05:31, 20 March

People use OKC for more than just romantic relationships. There is a "looking for friends/activity partners" option on the search.

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  • [-]
  • SC2_Bench
  • 2 Points
  • 16:52:27, 20 March

What? It was clearly a guy in the video that was flipping through the cards (random miser) and he was just uploading then with some camera with shitty editting software that names and uploads the video for you. Its likely his wifes youtube account.

  • [-]
  • recreational
  • 14 Points
  • 16:44:54, 20 March

> having that shitty little baby grab on those cards

Okay, seriously? Would people stop making this comment? Magic cards bend dude. You can take a Beta Black Lotus, bend it from end to end in a loop and it'll be fine unless it's been worn to hell or water-damaged. And they were in plastic sheets. That baby wasn't going to damage them by grabbing the page unless he/she pulled them out of the page.

A lot of mother fuckers in this thread pretty unreasonably angry at a goddamn baby over their own ignorance.

  • [-]
  • shawnxstl
  • 5 Points
  • 18:10:21, 20 March

So are we downvoting this dude into oblivion now....or...?

  • [-]
  • s-mores
  • 4 Points
  • 17:03:35, 20 March

>I know who owned that collection around that timeframe. It was reported stolen from him at Worlds in San Francisco (I think) but the word was he got it all back. I am leaning more towards this being a troll by the collection owner. He is, afterall, a magic player...

>That collection belonged to Roy Spires in Dallas 5-10 years ago. It is unique, and easily identified by some of the local players.

>Either he is trolling, or it was stolen. I can't think of any reason he would have sold it, or anyone that could afford it.

Some more Detective work by /u/Randusnuder.

  • [-]
  • xaviervalentine
  • 4 Points
  • 17:46:52, 20 March

At this point it should probably skip /r/KarmaConspiracy and straight to /r/KarmaCourt

  • [-]
  • dietotaku
  • 114 Points
  • 17:38:16, 20 March

in my defense:

  • i tried to talk him out of the whole thing but he thought it was too hilarious. be glad i dissuaded him from putting our cousin in the safe with a bucket of black ooze to make it look haunted.
  • he's not a "shitbag," he really has just forgotten the password to his OKC account and that is why it still says "available" - obviously if he can't log in to change that much he can't get any messages from chicks either (besides, we're together 24/7, at this point if he were to cheat on me i'd just be impressed by his ability to be 2 places at once)
  • none of the cards in those binders are proxies, and neither are the alters he sells. i help him make the alters and they are made with paint and ink - the only reason they look like something is glued on is because we tape off the symbols and names before painting the base coat so that the layers of ink on top appear translucent and they can be identified as authentic cards (believe me, it would be a lot less of a pain in the ass to just glue paper print-outs to cards, but we have a hard enough time convincing ebay that even hand-painted alters aren't "counterfeit"). he has never made a proxy in his life, though he IS guilty of working hard over the last couple of decades, playing well and using a shrewd business sense to amass his collection. i won't deny that he's pretty arrogant and has a weird sense of humor, but he's not a cheat.
  • he didn't "use the baby" for anything - she followed him into the living room while he was recording the binder videos and he, like recreational, knows that she can't really hurt anything in there; she was barely even touching most of the pages. honestly the only part of this that made me laugh (and i kept an eye on it mainly to see how quickly you all called out his bullshit... it seemed to be a done deal after the livestream but apparently the videos reversed opinion) was how many people were completely spazzing out over the baby "destroying" the cards that, in actuality, she was barely touching.
  • i may be married to the guy and love him to death, but yes, OP is a faggot. hopefully this has gotten something out of his system and future faggotry will be kept to a minimum.
  • [-]
  • bing_crosby
  • 121 Points
  • 17:40:01, 20 March

>i may be married to the guy and love him to death, but yes, OP is a faggot. hopefully this has gotten something out of his system and future faggotry will be kept to a minimum.

Ok folks, I think we're done here.

  • [-]
  • DickRhino
  • 44 Points
  • 18:08:05, 20 March

MYTH BUSTED (The cards)

MYTH CONFIRMED (OP)

  • [-]
  • ClaudeDuMort
  • 7 Points
  • 17:56:32, 20 March

That part was the best thing I've read the entire time I've been on Reddit

  • [-]
  • courage_wolf
  • 1 Points
  • 18:17:04, 20 March

> he's not a "shitbag," he really has just forgotten the password to his OKC account and that is why it still says "available"

~~seriously? if you believe that I have a bridge in Brooklyn (or a Magic set) to sell you. You realize there's a "Forgot Password?" button right? at least check when it says "last online:"~~

EDIT: OK, I take it back, it says last online in 2011. you win, OP... for now...

  • [-]
  • persimm0n
  • 18 Points
  • 18:27:35, 20 March

> Last online: October 6, 2011

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  • [-]
  • deilan
  • 4 Points
  • 18:28:08, 20 March

Yeah you are probably right, I'm sure she doesn't know anything about the person she is married to.

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  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 50 Points
  • 18:44:36, 20 March

HE OWES ME 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AND 2 CUPS OF COFFEE.

I digress, at least we know now. Thanks for posting the follow up! And I'm sorry you'll end up defending this against the folks round here. Totally not your fault.

  • [-]
  • dietotaku
  • -2 Points
  • 18:50:33, 20 March

sorry you lost so much sleep. :( i hope it was fun playing detective on the card values?

  • [-]
  • JubilationLee
  • 11 Points
  • 18:55:45, 20 March

It's always neat seeing people's cards and at the time I had a ball! He delivered it in a very neat package

  • [-]
  • gigitrix
  • 3 Points
  • 19:49:34, 20 March

I still feel so bad for you, there's so much raw enthusiasm in your first post!

  • [-]
  • I_DONT_SLEEP_A_BIT
  • 20 Points
  • 18:15:10, 20 March

If we DID have a wall of shame, OP would be on it.

  • [-]
  • Monkeylint
  • 4 Points
  • 19:43:42, 20 March

This is Reddit. Of course someone made /r/wallofshame

  • [-]
  • MoxLotus1337
  • 24 Points
  • 18:52:43, 20 March

Anyone who has ever met this fucking creepy scumbag in real life or even seen him on forums would recognize his screen name and cringe. This guy's entire social life, including dietotaku, is either people feeling sorry for him or playing games with him. He has nothing else. Pretty sad story but if this is the only way he can find solace in his life then I guess, congratulations Roy you finally got attention like you always wanted. Because that's what it's all about, it has nothing to do with thinking it's "hilarious". I am utterly thrilled you got doxed as far as reddit allows per rules and I hope this has a a huge negative impact on your social life and recreational activities

>i won't deny that he's pretty arrogant and has a weird sense of humor, but he's not a cheat.

You're being really generous. REALLY generous.

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  • [-]
  • ddddddf
  • 8 Points
  • 18:16:58, 20 March

Boo. Hiss.

  • [-]
  • honoraryorange
  • 23 Points
  • 18:15:04, 20 March

You got one thing wrong: He is, indeed, a shitbag.

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  • [-]
  • PoundOfFlesh
  • 12 Points
  • 18:36:58, 20 March

You're full of shit. I don't even know if it's you, or your husband, or your husband pretending to be you, you pretending to be him, whatever. I think both of you, if there are two people involved, are idiots and the only reason you're posting some sort of fake explanation is that thekidd uncovered more information on you guys than you care for.

You or you guys or whatever, got your shits and giggles out of it and you did use the baby which is really sleazy. I don't care if the baby could've hurt anything. I think you completely missed the point. The bottom line was that you used the baby as part of your weakass attempt at trolling. Using the baby help build credibility in the authenticity of the ploy and that makes you guys shitty parents. If it didn't backfire, would you have come clean? doubt it. You guys shouldn't be proud as parents nor should you guys be proud as human beings.

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  • [-]
  • binger5
  • 5 Points
  • 18:10:54, 20 March

How do we know it's not Roy on this account? I wouldn't put it past him.

Calls himself a faggot to throw off the scent. That sounds like Roy as well.

  • [-]
  • OldieTymie
  • 8 Points
  • 19:18:49, 20 March

What a pussy. Has his wife come and make comments "in her defense". Little does he know, we can still hear his fat ass breathing over her shoulder while she typed this.

If he fucks as well as he breathes, guarantee that baby isn't his.

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  • [-]
  • Shit_Happenss
  • 5 Points
  • 19:13:24, 20 March

I wish there was a ban button for the internet for special people like this

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  • [-]
  • He11razor
  • 3 Points
  • 18:57:39, 20 March

This was an awesome troll, that's for sure.

  • [-]
  • i_had_fun
  • 4 Points
  • 18:23:42, 20 March

>I may be married to the guy >be glad i dissuaded him from putting our cousin in the safe with a bucket of black ooze to make it look haunted.

You are married to your brother or cousin? No wonder!

  • [-]
  • Smarter-than-u
  • 6 Points
  • 18:39:40, 20 March

why does almost every chick always have this laundry list prepared at a moment's notice for why they shouldn't dump their loser boyfriend?

you've probably spent more time on that list than he's spent thinking of ways to make you happy. You know what's made him the most excited in your relationship recently? The opportunity to fake people out on reddit using your Youtube account. That's how valuable you've been to him lately.

But no, come up with another excuse and post it here. Then add it to your already growing list on why he's not 'that bad.'

Because that's what every girl wants to say about their partner. "he's not a 'shitbag' ". That's how you have to describe your loser. How sad.

  • [-]
  • MoxLotus1337
  • 8 Points
  • 18:58:19, 20 March

Ding ding ding! A lot of people who live in Dallas/FW already know the guy. She is being extremely generous about him. When you are with someone who is completely incapable of admitting their personal faults and correcting them, you learn to make excuses for it. She's really good at it huh!

Normally I'm against internet mobs but not this time

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  • [-]
  • tprez24
  • 3 Points
  • 18:32:38, 20 March

Male here. You just don't forget the password to your OKC account.

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  • [-]
  • Bluest_waters
  • 2 Points
  • 17:58:21, 20 March

LOL

fuckin A reddit, I knew this whole thing was BS from the start.

Oh well!

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  • [-]
  • Acheroni
  • 12 Points
  • 17:19:04, 20 March

http://i.imgur.com/CxTttVK.gif

  • [-]
  • chewy106
  • 3 Points
  • 17:12:55, 20 March

As soon as I saw your investigating linked it to RandomMiser I knew it was definitively a hoax and he's probably involved. I remember that guy from the old MTGNews forums and elsewhere from years back

  • [-]
  • DaymanMaster0fKarate
  • 3 Points
  • 17:15:29, 20 March

Also there was a post a year ago about a guy finding a safe he couldn't open, and reddit lined up to suck the OP's dick endlessly back then too.

  • [-]
  • graphictank
  • 3 Points
  • 17:31:34, 20 March

Hahaha. While looking up OP, this is his first result in GIS: picture

  • [-]
  • Squirrelnugs
  • 3 Points
  • 18:54:04, 20 March

I feel bad for the one guy who sat up all night making a spread sheet for this douche.

  • [-]
  • binger5
  • 14 Points
  • 17:08:18, 20 March

Thanks. I frequent Texasmagiczone and a few people brought up the fact that the binder looks a lot like someone who use to post on here.

Random miser is Roy Spires from the Dallas area. He's been a pretty huge troll for most of his life.

  • [-]
  • jmiszal
  • 5 Points
  • 17:40:01, 20 March

bing is right even though bing is an irl shitbag also

  • [-]
  • binger5
  • 4 Points
  • 17:42:02, 20 March

Calm down now.

  • [-]
  • VesuvanDoppelganger
  • 2 Points
  • 19:29:47, 20 March

Don't you have a lawn to mow?

  • [-]
  • phartnocker
  • 6 Points
  • 18:42:24, 20 March

http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/vintage/5438-Round-1-Roy-RandomMiser-Spires-vs-Brandon-Barajas.html

  • [-]
  • djedi25
  • 3 Points
  • 17:44:42, 20 March

It's people like him that look the fun out of magic when I used to play :-(

  • [-]
  • squot
  • 2 Points
  • 17:37:46, 20 March

Uncool posting someone's personal info and city on the internet.

  • [-]
  • bkaybee
  • 7 Points
  • 18:05:21, 20 March

I think he was making the point that he's already known on the internet

  • [-]
  • OMFGitsBob
  • 3 Points
  • 17:42:36, 20 March

God dammit. Why'd he have to be from here?!

Reddit, I shall seek our pound of flesh.

  • [-]
  • PoundOfFlesh
  • 1 Points
  • 19:37:56, 20 March

I want what's mine

  • [-]
  • stephanykr
  • 4 Points
  • 16:01:34, 20 March

Then why would he let a baby manhandle something of such value?

Edit: Not saying it's not staged. It totally is and great detective work. Just wondering why he'd let a kid near it.

  • [-]
  • pamboat
  • 15 Points
  • 16:24:46, 20 March

The cards themselves are fake. The guy makes fake Magic cards.

  • [-]
  • TheRealSiliconJesus
  • 1 Points
  • 19:54:24, 20 March

Do you have children? Like the OP said in her coming clean post, the kid really couldn't hurt the cards. They're in binders and pretty well protected.

  • [-]
  • ad33zy
  • 5 Points
  • 16:14:19, 20 March

Yeah, and no one is surprised it's fake either. It's the same concept as storage wars. If someone puts something valuable in a safe, they aren't just gonna leave it there when they move away. Even if they say perhaps died suddenly, you don't think any of their kin would know about their magic card collection worth a ton?

  • [-]
  • kona_kona
  • 2 Points
  • 17:32:57, 20 March

> you don't think any of their kin would know about their magic card collection worth a ton?

i know a woman who went away to college and while she was gone her mom threw away her entire comic book collection worth tens of thousands of dollars.

  • [-]
  • piuch
  • 1 Points
  • 16:39:16, 20 March

Well, I for one didn't expect this and I used to think I wasn't that naive. Looks like I underestimate the effort some people are willing to put into pulling pointless pranks.

  • [-]
  • muggzymain
  • 2 Points
  • 16:18:11, 20 March

Either this was staged, or you just figured out some sick robbery/disappearance of "dietotaku" and her husband. The way OP was breathing in the video makes it sound like the bodies are in the room next to him.

  • [-]
  • BassheadPanda
  • 2 Points
  • 16:20:54, 20 March

I knew that shit was fake as soon as I found out what was in the vault.

  • [-]
  • Orange_Toast
  • 2 Points
  • 16:39:55, 20 March

I just realised that it's 'Diet Otaku', not 'Die To Otaku'.

  • [-]
  • Shagoosty
  • 2 Points
  • 17:51:54, 20 March

You should take him to /r/KarmaCourt

  • [-]
  • fashnek
  • 2 Points
  • 18:34:38, 20 March

The Internet should know better? You personally spent how long investigating this?

  • [-]
  • Nyarlathotep124
  • 2 Points
  • 18:55:55, 20 March

Damn, internet. You scary!

  • [-]
  • EvilMedicalSchool
  • 1 Points
  • 19:10:37, 20 March

i didnt think the creeping choas could get scared.

  • [-]
  • viking_
  • 2 Points
  • 19:02:31, 20 March

For anyone who doesn't know, Random Miser/Mandorrisem were the online aliases of Roy Spires, who was known around the Wizards forums (and elsewhere, apparently) a few years back for being intractable and belligerent, asserting that whatever deck he posted was by far the best in its intended format.

  • [-]
  • Nillix
  • 2 Points
  • 19:51:49, 20 March

Well shit. Liars on the Internet, AGAIN.

  • [-]
  • saikyan
  • 2 Points
  • 16:06:00, 20 March

Glorious internet smackdown.

  • [-]
  • ohlerdy
  • 1 Points
  • 17:33:06, 20 March

Guy got all of Reddit to fap off to his story though. I think we were the ones smacked down.

  • [-]
  • badostrich
  • 2 Points
  • 18:32:25, 20 March

For the record the girl in the OkCupid profile looks like a bipolar bog yeti.

  • [-]
  • DeadSeaGulls
  • 1 Points
  • 16:10:02, 20 March

Ah, sweet internet justice.

  • [-]
  • EnderBoy
  • 1 Points
  • 16:12:24, 20 March

upvote for you, good sirree.

  • [-]
  • Casp-
  • 1 Points
  • 16:32:25, 20 March

Solid investigating work!

  • [-]
  • beersticker
  • 1 Points
  • 16:33:13, 20 March

What?

  • [-]
  • Shazaam613
  • 1 Points
  • 16:38:06, 20 March

This travesty must be brought to /r/karmacourt

Justice must be served!!!!

  • [-]
  • Shurtugal929
  • 1 Points
  • 16:42:10, 20 March

hahaha. I don't believe any "LOOK AT DIS SAFE I FOUND GUYZ" posts on reddit anymore because of the karma train it guarentees. All you need is a safe in your house to get one.

  • [-]
  • glitter_vomit
  • 1 Points
  • 16:42:13, 20 March

nice work!

  • [-]
  • maskdmirag
  • 1 Points
  • 16:44:24, 20 March

Thanks dude,I found the same stuff slightly after, but since okcupid was blocked at work it was all on my phone and I couldn't post it as coherently

  • [-]
  • WaywardWayfarer
  • 1 Points
  • 16:45:44, 20 March

Fine work.

  • [-]
  • SuspiciousSituation
  • 1 Points
  • 16:48:42, 20 March

I knew it was suspicious.

  • [-]
  • KellerWVU
  • 1 Points
  • 16:53:18, 20 March

Well played, good sir!

  • [-]
  • UnseenAlchemist
  • 1 Points
  • 17:01:07, 20 March

Holy shit dude. I think they could use you over at /r/tipofmypenis

  • [-]
  • Nerethos
  • 2 Points
  • 17:17:50, 20 March

I've now tagged you as Sherlock Holmes. You are the hero we need and deserve. Good on you sir.

  • [-]
  • BlackRebel
  • 1 Points
  • 17:24:08, 20 March

owned.

  • [-]
  • TektonikGymRat
  • 1 Points
  • 17:25:36, 20 March

Okay, this is greatttt work. Now here's my thing. This guy knew about the value of these cards yet he is still letting his kid handle them this way? Is there any possibility that you just found out who these actually belong to and this isn't actually a hoax? Like we know for a fact that those cards in that binder are real, yet this kid is just bending them like crazy. Doesn't add up.

  • [-]
  • blackycircly
  • 1 Points
  • 17:27:10, 20 March

Great work you busted him!!!

  • [-]
  • ehnelson
  • 1 Points
  • 17:28:16, 20 March

...I think I love you.

  • [-]
  • harry-bergeron
  • 1 Points
  • 17:32:19, 20 March

You need to work on the Catfish TV show.

  • [-]
  • jmiszal
  • 1 Points
  • 17:38:24, 20 March

You know that random miser is a troll irl right? He is who i think he is hes from texas and the king of the trolls

  • [-]
  • unintennuendo
  • 1 Points
  • 17:38:40, 20 March

in this case, you are the internet that knows better. so the internet DID know better.

trollOP should've known better, that he woulda been called out.

  • [-]
  • Daeran
  • 1 Points
  • 17:40:17, 20 March

You sir, deserve a medal!

  • [-]
  • SC2_Bench
  • 1 Points
  • 17:40:50, 20 March

The player who this belongs to is a relatively infamous Texas magic player (hence the Texas Magic Zone post). He is basically a huge troll.

  • [-]
  • djedi25
  • 1 Points
  • 17:43:36, 20 March

Also interesting to note that he's banned from that forum you linked

  • [-]
  • tisch28
  • 1 Points
  • 18:09:35, 20 March

This. This ruined my dream :'(

  • [-]
  • Godlesskittens
  • 1 Points
  • 18:13:40, 20 March

Why would he have an OK Cupid account if he's married?

  • [-]
  • Tonyhawkproskater
  • 1 Points
  • 18:13:42, 20 March

Excellent sleuthing! Time to downvote OP TO THE GROUND.

  • [-]
  • Anynomus
  • 1 Points
  • 18:16:35, 20 March

Damn! nice work Sherlock!

  • [-]
  • Reading_is_Cool
  • 1 Points
  • 18:16:39, 20 March

I'm not saying you're wrong, but if it were fake, why would he allow his baby to smash the cards with its hands and try to crumple them in the binder if he knew what they were worth prior to filming the videos?

  • [-]
  • Narmotur
  • 1 Points
  • 18:35:49, 20 March

http://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsInThisThing/comments/1aj9ty/thisthinghasbeensittinginmyhouseever/c8z7pdx

  • [-]
  • plopliar
  • 1 Points
  • 18:16:50, 20 March

ಠ_ಠ

  • [-]
  • packeymcmay
  • 1 Points
  • 18:17:46, 20 March

Best Roy Spires master-post ever.

  • [-]
  • Fortiman
  • 1 Points
  • 18:21:29, 20 March

Someone give this guy a medal! Thanks for your hard work thekidd142, Reddit really needs more people like you.

  • [-]
  • drummer1785
  • 1 Points
  • 18:24:24, 20 March

I hate him mostly because he keeps writing "ect" instead of "etc".

  • [-]
  • bravemountie
  • 1 Points
  • 19:16:37, 20 March

Should of made a new youtube account. Lazy scammer.

  • [-]
  • rhubarbarino
  • 1 Points
  • 19:36:37, 20 March

Sigh. Nothing is real.

  • [-]
  • Vaderzer0
  • 1 Points
  • 19:40:07, 20 March

So this guy still actually owns this shit right? It's just not a surprise from opening a safe.... still a pretty sick collection.

  • [-]
  • typesoshee
  • 1 Points
  • 19:40:55, 20 March

Someone, do take screen shots of this evidence. It was pretty stupid of him to post the videos on his wife's Youtube account (so stupid that it actually gives credence to the conspiracy theory that thekidd142 is in on it, or perhaps the troll himself, and the decision to post it on dietotaku's Youtube was set up as "the way" that a random user, thekidd142 would find out what was going on. However, it's very unlikely that a troll would give up all his online footprints, including his and his wife's OKCupid profiles here. But I digress), but still, this whole trail is amazing. Just in case he starts taking stuff down, someone please do take the relevant screen shots.

People here seem to be expressing their displeasure at the trolling, but I thought this was great, all-in-all.

  • [-]
  • Jakedubbleya
  • 1 Points
  • 19:48:52, 20 March

Oh fuck me

  • [-]
  • EugeneC
  • 1 Points
  • 19:49:38, 20 March

Haha he has a Okc account loser

  • [-]
  • ksprzk
  • 1 Points
  • 19:54:52, 20 March

Yo go glen coco

  • [-]
  • ksprzk
  • 1 Points
  • 19:55:25, 20 March

DERP. *you. On phone. Can't delete. Double DERP.

  • [-]
  • megauploader001
  • 1 Points
  • 20:05:17, 20 March

downvotes to http://aa-bh.reddit.com/user/dietotaku?count=25&after=t1_c8xh6fj, let's get him to 0 upvotes by the time he comes back.

  • [-]
  • revelant-username
  • 1 Points
  • 20:07:59, 20 March

Shall we downvote to oblivion? Pitchforks!!??!?!??

  • [-]
  • Jorgemeister
  • 1 Points
  • 20:09:21, 20 March

Pitchforks ready.

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