Let's discuss kids and how to share TRP wisdom. (self.TheRedPill)


27 ups - 11 downs = 16 votes

I know this subject has been approached once or twice before, and I realize that there may not be to many fathers on this sub.

I have a 12 year old son who is starting to discover girls and I think it would be beneficial that he understands from the get go how things truly are. Since he told me on Tuesday he has a "date" this weekend , it really started to get me thinking about what this and trying to come up with good resources for him to read. I showed him the TRP post; Non-hamstering approach to why women like bad boys" because it was fairly tame and to the point. I know there is a lot more too it, but it also seems that a lot of the discussion and articles are very NC-17 (for lack of a better way of putting it). So what are some good discussion points to cover and resources that can be presented in a way that isn't so shocking to a 12 year old's psyche?

14 comments submitted at 14:25:52 on Mar 21, 2014 by OpiumPhrogg

  • [-]
  • iggybdawg
  • 4 Points
  • 16:27:58, 21 March

My son is too young to desire girls, but I've already started. Like me, he is a natural nice guy. I've been trying to drill in him that he doesn't have to be nice to those who don't deserve it, and sometimes the truth isn't nice, but you have to say it anyway.

Conveniently, he has a sister 2 years younger than him. I've been training him to notice when her actions are different than her words, and call her out on shitty behavior.

  • [-]
  • eccentricrealist
  • 10 Points
  • 15:04:11, 21 March

Just tell him to make sure he is happy before he makes sure she is happy.

  • [-]
  • Karta_89
  • 2 Points
  • 16:39:25, 21 March

This is great. Let him know that the purpose of a relationship is to find happiness. If you aren't happy, no matter how much she touts the importance of "commitment" and "loyalty," the relationship isn't working.

  • [-]
  • Xein
  • 1 Points
  • 16:20:52, 21 March

Yeah a 12 year-old mind isn't going to understand a lot of the stuff we throw around here. I'd just stress to him to take care of himself, always keep himself and his passions first over any girl.

  • [-]
  • fiat_lux_
  • 1 Points
  • 16:47:02, 21 March

I've seen a lot of parents treat their kids as tools for their own ideology. E.g. Parents dressing their little boy with pink and flowery clothes. If it's really not a big deal where you live (unlikely) then it's no big deal. However, if he goes to a school where he'll be bullied for it, the very least the parents can do is let the boy know before hand. Instead, the parent plays dumb, and if the boy is bullied, then it's 100% the fault of the bully and thus there's absolutely nothing they could have done differently. There's no way anyone could have seen it coming!

They use their kid to "fight bullying", "fight gender norms", "get the system to change".

A lot of new-age parents act like they are just trying to support their kid's decisions (and reddit's usually right there supporting them and over-representing stories of kids that just happen to naturally go against gender norms; because it's interesting and different), but I know these people and their kids well. Their kids honestly couldn't give a shit either way and just do what their parents tell them. These parents are crusaders and zealots for their ideological agendas, and treat their children as tools for validation.

If OP wants to avoid that the "rp way", I'd say it's as simple as putting his child above ideology, any ideology from feminism, egalitarianism, capitalism, socialism, any -isms… including what he and others may think is "red pillism".

  • [-]
  • mordanus
  • 2 Points
  • 16:08:13, 21 March

First off explain to him that what you are talking about doesn't leave the room. You can't have him going out and talking about it to other people because of the social stigma. Tell him to use his powers of observation to see if it's true or not, and not to ask girls what they think about the stuff he is learning.

Second, start of slow. Teach him that women and men are different inside and out. We think different ways and we react differently to different things. Twelve is a bit young to go into too much detail and you really should just be focused on him learning the importance of improving himself at this point instead of learning about dating, but you can slip it in slowly. Women like Y men like Z. That kind of stuff.

  • [-]
  • JesusJuked
  • 1 Points
  • 15:46:34, 21 March

12 is pretty young. But, once he's into high school, he's likely to start pinning away with real or imagined Oneitis for the first cute girl who is nice to him. It's important that your son realize that in youth, boys are not very attractive to girls. Your son is weak, even if he's an athlete, compared to me, simply because he's young. Thus, for a young man, patience is key. Advise him to focus on self-improvement before worrying about trying to get the girl. The girls aren't going to like him, no matter how cool he is compared to his class-mates, until he's done with puberty. In my past, Oneitis was the problem. "Don't slut out your emotional closeness to girls who haven't earned it"

Edit: also, more important than anything you say, is everything you do--but if you're a dad you already knew that, right?

  • [-]
  • RojoEscarlata
  • 1 Points
  • 16:37:15, 21 March

You are not viewing it from the real perspective, the Red Pill is a cure for the sickness that is destroying masculinity.

Don't wait until your son catches the sickness for educating him, and the best way to educate a child is giving him a strong role model.

  • [-]
  • phil619
  • 1 Points
  • 17:30:31, 21 March

Teach him to always improve himself and to look for himself as apart from his parents, no one will. Regarding the date as he is still a boy and not a man, he will probably not have the looks( muscles, height and woman at that age are already going up in the SMV graph quickly and are taller) so he should use the other manly traits woman dig,: confidence , slight dominance, boldness, determination and he must lead the girl.

EDIT: grammar

  • [-]
  • OpiumPhrogg
  • 1 Points
  • 17:42:41, 21 March

Actually, he is one of the oldest kids in his class, unfortunately he is also one of the shortest too, but I have noticed recently that he has been growing out of that "short stuff" archetype.

  • [-]
  • OpiumPhrogg
  • 1 Points
  • 17:47:12, 21 March

Thanks for the replies! I think a lot of what I already was thinking has been echoed;

Being a role model. Always ensure to take care of your wants / desires before the females. Explain that women and men are different. Start to notice when a woman's words don't match her actions and call her out on it.

That seems like a good start, keep the suggestions coming in!

  • [-]
  • nechoha
  • 0 Points
  • 14:47:07, 21 March

I am only 21, so I may not say it perfectly for a son.

Girls are different from guys. They react over every little thing. They value different things and play with very different rules. You do not play by their rules, you play with your own because your rules are clear things. Such as if someone wrongs me then I either forgive them (for a simple misdeed) or walk away from them (for a large misdeed). If a woman has an argument to make, the basis of the argument lies in emotions/intuitions/feelings where as a man's argument is based on facts and logic.

I hope most of that can be used for your son. Feel free to reword it. I feel that the big thing to do is tell him girls are different and that he is a priority over others. This does not meaning helping others and kindness are bad, but many people (of the current youngest generation) today abuse those things.

  • [-]
  • AttackRat
  • -2 Points
  • 15:17:27, 21 March

When you are older, and wiser hopefully you will realize gender and behavior isn't so easy to connect and simplify. I suggest educating yourself in psychology and biology, primarily neuro-science would help your misinterpretation of reality. Good luck with that.

  • [-]
  • atm0sphere
  • 1 Points
  • 15:56:20, 21 March

I don't know how relevant some of the more intricate parts of TRP are to a 12 year old, or how it would even play out at 16, but as someone who's 21 right now, I'll just say I've been having a pretty good run using some of the stuff I've learned here.

this might be a case of 'do as I do' rather than 'do what I say'