What is it like to be attracted to a man? (self.AskWomen)

{AskWomen}

51 ups - 20 downs = 31 votes

I'm a male and I'm fascinated by the fact that women are attracted to men. Sometimes I almost don't believe it's possible - men are hairy, smelly, just gross. Yet, women have male SOs all the time.

Do you really like kissing a man (even if he has a beard)? Do you really enjoy intercourse with a man?

I realize this may seem like a weird question but I just want to know what it's like for the opposite gender.

Thank you.

108 comments submitted at 16:17:07 on Dec 5, 2013 by tonyfriz

  • [-]
  • missingamitten
  • 239 Points
  • 22:11:07, 5 December

It's wonderful :)

As a woman, I feel like a small, bumbly, emotionally charged little creature. Estrogen is a funny thing: No matter what happens, I will journey through life, always confused by my own complexity, always feeling the need to protect myself, though always needing to overcompensate in that protection, always overwhelmed by how much love I have inside me, and always searching for someone or something I can pour it into.

When a man puts his hand on my arm, or pulls me into his chest, my mind just goes quiet. I can sink into him, let go of the chaos, trust him to protect me and allow myself to put down my guard. He can do it better than I can, he's stronger than me, and it helps me to relax. He reminds me with a single laugh that life doesn't have to be so complicated, and makes me feel sexy because he can't hide how primal he is, no matter how hard he tries. His body is so unlike mine, hard and thick and jesus christ he's picking me up with one arm. It's phenomenal to me, I could never do that. No one can hurt me again. And kissing a man, something so powerful that chooses to be so gentle with me, I don't know how he can enjoy kissing a girl or why he would want to. But he kisses me anyway and I melt under his body. It doesn't matter if he's hairy or smelly. Gross is different, but I don't want my man to smell like flowers, I want him to smell like man!

And dick is even better! None of my girlfriends will never appreciate my awesome boobs they way you do. Thanks for being so genuinely impressed by something as simple as a body. It's hilarious, how easy it is to drive you wild, fun to play with you but then you grab me and and make me feel exactly the same way. Being fucked is incredible--unleashing all your manstrength, I am reduced to nothing but a little pleasure slave, and that's totally fine with me. He allows me to love him, he craves that love, and he gives it back in return through providing me access to his strength and stability.

I love men. Menny, men, men. :)

  • [-]
  • inveterateasshole
  • 54 Points
  • 22:34:00, 5 December

> I can sink into him, let go of the chaos, trust him to protect me and allow myself to put down my guard.

Funny, I feel exactly the same in my wife's arms.

  • [-]
  • boomfarmer
  • 15 Points
  • 03:52:44, 6 December

Mutual trust is a warm and comforting thing.

  • [-]
  • missingamitten
  • 18 Points
  • 22:45:47, 5 December

I hope you tell her that often, it felt good just reading it.

  • [-]
  • inveterateasshole
  • 19 Points
  • 22:56:26, 5 December

Oh and btw: you're scary good with words. I hope you do something with that.

  • [-]
  • missingamitten
  • 8 Points
  • 22:59:09, 5 December

Aw, shucks! That's nice of you, maybe one day.

  • [-]
  • sayswut
  • 7 Points
  • 12:25:06, 6 December

Someday I need to write something like this from my own perspective as a gay man. It's... different. But there are similarities.

  • [-]
  • 2_old_2B_clever
  • 2 Points
  • 14:21:07, 7 December

I would be very interested in reading that. I'm a straight-ish man who's had a lot of fun making out with guys. They are just so different from women, their musculature is so much more solid and I feel like I can throw them around more and know what they intuitively want more, and them me.

But.... The wiring just isn't there. I don't get any kind of butterflies in my stomach talking to a dude and I have no desire to do little sweet things for them.

  • [-]
  • sayswut
  • 3 Points
  • 14:38:27, 7 December

It might surprise you to learn that studies of bisexuals suggest the sexual and the romantic drives are linked but separate, and many bisexuals report having one active but not the other for any given partner; e.g. I'm in love with my partner and we have sex even though sexually I'm more aroused by partners of a different gender (at the moment; some report their gender preference varies over time).

tl;dr Bisexuality is fascinating, poorly understood.

  • [-]
  • 2_old_2B_clever
  • 4 Points
  • 23:22:32, 7 December

Yeah, I have some bi friends talk about not being able to be in romantic love with their own gender, so I'm familiar with the concept.

I'm just not cool enough to call myself bisexual, and I'm not political enough to call myself queer. I think of myself more of a Mediterranean straight.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • -1 Points
  • 06:46:41, 7 December

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • sayswut
  • 1 Points
  • 13:19:22, 7 December

dude, you're reading 'What it is like to be attracted to a man?'

  • [-]
  • bapwtb
  • 35 Points
  • 02:00:50, 6 December

> As a woman, I feel like a small, bumbly, emotionally charged little creature.

> He can do it better than I can

> I am reduced to nothing but a little pleasure slave, and that's totally fine with me.

Okay, I hate to be that guy, but it's a little weird to see so many people agreeing with this. Beautifully written for sure, and plenty of truth to it, and of course OP is just answering the question and is entitled to her opinion. But I'm curious: women who upvoted this, do you agree with these line in particular?

  • [-]
  • Marsarinian
  • 35 Points
  • 02:40:18, 6 December

I have no problem with how missingamitten describes how she feels about her sexuality - it is very nicely written - but I think the key point is not to generalize. Her description is very much in line with standard gender archetypes, and that's perfectly fine, but just as everyone's comments reflected, different people feel differently about their sexuality and the opposite sex (and everything in between), and that's fine too.

  • [-]
  • bapwtb
  • 14 Points
  • 02:50:51, 6 December

Yeah, missingamitten has every right to feel that way. I'm just daunted by the number of upvotes (and, frankly, questioning how many of them are by women).

  • [-]
  • big-red1188
  • 11 Points
  • 03:57:37, 6 December

I thought it was satire when I clicked the r/bestof link. But it is well written either way.

  • [-]
  • mccoyed
  • 2 Points
  • 21:21:03, 6 December

I still kinda think it was written by a man.

  • [-]
  • tonyfriz
  • 1 Points
  • 21:39:06, 6 December

What makes you think that...?

  • [-]
  • mccoyed
  • 2 Points
  • 21:42:26, 6 December

It's full of cliches about women that usually seem to be more desirable to men. But then again, I could be trollin'.

  • [-]
  • tonyfriz
  • 2 Points
  • 21:52:36, 6 December

Well she's got the female flair so I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt.

  • [-]
  • mccoyed
  • 2 Points
  • 22:34:34, 6 December

That's my usual reddit rule too.

  • [-]
  • pagan_idol
  • 6 Points
  • 05:51:11, 6 December

Not at all. That's the only line that irked me. Otherwise I liked it.

  • [-]
  • _sem
  • 18 Points
  • 02:31:52, 6 December

No, I do not agree at all with these lines in particular. But it was beautifully written.

  • [-]
  • HisAdvantage
  • 5 Points
  • 06:50:44, 6 December

I am with you on this, I was a tad surprised. As a man it confuses me a bit. It seems as though she may have been hurt in the past by someone or something. And feeling protected is a big thing for her. I am not sure, I am very easily confused by women. I think I am just stupid lol.

  • [-]
  • weirdlemonade81
  • 7 Points
  • 07:38:38, 6 December

The person who posted this, I deeply suspect, a little bit of a sub in bed. As am I. I think what's being gotten at here is part of the attraction for sub-y women - it's feeling small and protected and safe. Men are bigger than me, they're chests and arms are big and strong and solid. Being in those arms can calm me down and relax me in a way nothing else can. The feeling is a good one - safe, turned on etc.

  • [-]
  • jbeanpug_
  • 10 Points
  • 08:15:10, 6 December

Yeah, those lines immediately stuck out to me, too.

It made me kind of uncomfortable.

I guess for me, while my boyfriend is a lot bigger than me and I do feel safe, it's not because I'm confused by my own complexity. It's because who wouldn't feel safe with someone who understands them well?

I'm a pretty sensitive person, but I understand my sensitivity. I don't see myself as an emotionally charged little creature, but as an empathetic, independent human being. I like the contrast I have with the men I date.

I do get it to an extent, but.. yeah, I don't know. I'm surprised it has so many upvotes.

  • [-]
  • tidyupinhere
  • 4 Points
  • 02:22:32, 6 December

Yes. I love having a man whose view of the world isn't swayed day by day by fluctuating hormones. I love feeling protected by that man, because it's nicer to be protected than to protect yourself. And sex is hot, man! Getting fucked by someone who wants you so ravenously he can't control himself* is AWESOME!

(*within the bounds of consent, obviously)

  • [-]
  • ManwhoreB
  • 6 Points
  • 06:22:49, 6 December

You must be great with women

  • [-]
  • bapwtb
  • 5 Points
  • 11:58:08, 6 December

I am one, the first line's an expression.

  • [-]
  • ManwhoreB
  • 1 Points
  • 22:21:09, 6 December

Well you should know women like different things. Some want an equal, some want a more submissive guy, others want very dominant guys

  • [-]
  • bapwtb
  • 1 Points
  • 00:45:00, 7 December

Well sure. OP doesn't have to like the same thing as me. I was just surprised by the sheer number of people agreeing and wondered if they upvoted because of or in spite of those specific lines.

  • [-]
  • Isa010
  • 4 Points
  • 10:38:40, 7 December

> women who upvoted this, do you agree with these line in particular?

I arrived her via /r/bestof and am frankly a little annoyed that this was tagged as "what it feels like as a woman to be loved by a man". This is how /u/missingamitten feels about herself and men.

I do not like being described as " a small, bumbly, emotionally charged creature... confused by my own complexity". Its beautifully written and of course she can feel however she likes, I don't want to take away from that, in fact I would like to emphasize that we are different and that is just fine. Nothing is wrong with her view of her experience. However, personally I would find such a description of myself extremely condescending and a little demeaning. I'm not surprised this was highly upvoted on Reddit, like you, I suspect most of those were men enjoying the validation of what they assume life is like as a woman.

  • [-]
  • chemical_whizzbang
  • 1 Points
  • 18:20:37, 9 December

Upvoting doesn't indicate agreement, she gave her honest opinion and experience and it's prompted a lively and interesting discussion. Hence the upvotes.

  • [-]
  • bapwtb
  • 1 Points
  • 21:54:16, 9 December

That's the theory, but this is Reddit.

  • [-]
  • boredwillow
  • 31 Points
  • 04:59:08, 6 December

>Estrogen is a funny thing: No matter what happens, I will journey through life, always confused by my own complexity

This is a lovely turn of phrase, but it offends me as a woman to hear women don't even understand themselves. I am not confused my own complexity. I am a rational person capable of understanding my own emotions and motivations. Sure, sometimes I mess up or misjudge myself, but I am not more a mystery than a man is.

  • [-]
  • blufox
  • 6 Points
  • 07:38:34, 6 December

Dear friend, You are certainly welcome to feel that you know fully about yourself. However, I feel that you didn't do justice to the original poster. I do not see why it is some thing to take offence for. I did not realize the depth of feelings of tenderness and protectiveness that I was capable of until my mate evoked them in me with her touch. I still continue to be surprised by what I find myself to be when I am with her.

It is rather different from rational judgements that I make myself as a person.

  • [-]
  • boredwillow
  • 13 Points
  • 09:19:07, 6 December

The reason I am offended is that she's justifying a common excuse used to write women off.

  • [-]
  • sniffels95
  • 4 Points
  • 14:23:29, 6 December

What I've found, as a guy, is that there's always a rational basis for any situation where women are "being overly emotional." Regardless of mood it's best to address the situation seriously as the motivators won't magically disappear. People (men and women alike) who "write it off" seem likely to do so regardless and are only looking for an excuse.

  • [-]
  • missingamitten
  • 4 Points
  • 16:40:21, 6 December

I'm sorry you feel thay way, I never meant to offend. I do feel as if I'll always be confused by my own complexity, but it in no way was supposed to suggest that I'm not a rational person, nor do I view other women that way. Of course I understand my emotions and motivations because I am sane, but I know very few people (men included) who do not often find their emotions and motivations confusing.

You must be very fortunate.

  • [-]
  • abeyante
  • 3 Points
  • 00:07:56, 6 December

Wowwwwwww. Reading this comment feels like getting a good hug <3

  • [-]
  • nuggledero
  • 2 Points
  • 18:24:47, 6 December

Wow, I feel like I have a better understanding of the sheer level of exuberance my wife displays whenever we're reunited after a day of work.

I'm usually all drained from the day and I just want to be still, not think and just relax. Meanwhile, she's bouncing all over the place, hugging touching and or otherwise canoodling me to death.

We guys (or I, at least) don't really feel this up-welling of love we have to pour out. It pops up now and then, but it's not a constant thing and it's really easy to deplete.

tl;dr - women are magical creatures.

  • [-]
  • ALexusOhHaiNyan
  • 7 Points
  • 06:39:25, 6 December

Well said.

Also, this is why many young girls love horses so much. That strong beast that is gentle with her and takes her places, etc.

  • [-]
  • Rilexus
  • 2 Points
  • 10:08:46, 6 December

I think this way too

  • [-]
  • grr34
  • 1 Points
  • 12:39:23, 6 December

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwOptdOA-i0

  • [-]
  • ALexusOhHaiNyan
  • 1 Points
  • 02:39:23, 7 December

Women just want us for our glue!

  • [-]
  • succube-eprise
  • 5 Points
  • 22:30:32, 5 December

How incredibly sweet. Put a smile on my face :)

  • [-]
  • IHDN2012
  • 1 Points
  • 15:54:44, 6 December

:) Thank you.

  • [-]
  • gmweintz
  • 1 Points
  • 19:32:19, 6 December

This was a really great post. Thank you for putting my feelings into words. I love menny men too...the very menniest :) for exactly the same reasons you've written here.

  • [-]
  • Antikarmahore
  • 1 Points
  • 09:08:53, 8 December

You trying to get the pipe?

  • [-]
  • TheNobleThief
  • 2 Points
  • 23:46:58, 5 December

This needs to be in /r/bestof.

  • [-]
  • tonyfriz
  • 2 Points
  • 23:52:54, 5 December

Can someone do the honors?

  • [-]
  • TheNobleThief
  • 1 Points
  • 23:56:40, 5 December

Sure. I will attempt.

  • [-]
  • missingamitten
  • 3 Points
  • 00:13:14, 6 December

I'm not worthy!

  • [-]
  • Aggie_15
  • 0 Points
  • 01:40:44, 6 December

you are! you are!

  • [-]
  • demeyor
  • -2 Points
  • 13:44:22, 6 December

can someone give her a gold, too poor, but she so deserves it.