It sent him into a bad depression. (imgur.com)

{AdviceAnimals}

2968 ups - 1572 downs = 1396 votes

214 comments submitted at 17:01:22 on Dec 8, 2013 by life_threatening

  • [-]
  • werdian
  • 148 Points
  • 18:03:48, 8 December

Just to be clear: are you certain that you hooked up with her while they were together?

Edit: Since you say below that you "made changes with your life and then got married" after hooking up with her, it kind of seems like her hookups with you were something that happened in the past and might not have happened alongside her current (former) relationship. In which case, nice confession bear, scumbag!

  • [-]
  • life_threatening
  • -181 Points
  • 19:18:24, 8 December

Before I got engaged to be married I told my girlfriend everything. She accepted my past and realized that I was different now. I merely told my friend about his fiances past so that he could make the same judgement call.

Did my tip allow him to find out other things about her? I don't know. Her iceberg could have been a lot deeper than even I knew.

  • [-]
  • werdian
  • 34 Points
  • 19:30:40, 8 December

Got it. I don't have any experience with HotorNot -- maybe you can clear this up for me. What is bad about a SO that used it to hook up before they met you? Is it just a trashy/slutty thing to do?

The way you're talking about accepting the past/icebergs/etc. makes it seem like a skeleton in the closet that I don't really get. (Admittedly, I wouldn't want my SO to have done Craiglist-style hooking up in the past, but I don't know that I would cancel an engagement over it). Anyway, like I said, solid confession.

  • [-]
  • life_threatening
  • -84 Points
  • 19:39:01, 8 December

Hotornot came before Craigslist but it had a lot of the same premises of NSA that Craigslist has. (without the serial killers) Probably the biggest reason for telling my friend was because he was a "wait until marriage" kind of guy, and she was (when I knew her) a "you're not going to fuck me, whats your problem?" kind of girl.

  • [-]
  • OMG_PUGS
  • 76 Points
  • 19:50:50, 8 December

What the fuck business is that of yours?

  • [-]
  • BloodFeastIslandMan
  • 11 Points
  • 22:46:54, 8 December

When you're eskimo brothers it should be embraced.

  • [-]
  • Toysoldier34
  • 1 Points
  • 01:35:01, 9 December

I just started watching the League today. Great show.

  • [-]
  • hungwithhate
  • 15 Points
  • 20:05:02, 8 December

Exactly. What's in the past is in the past.

  • [-]
  • Robert_Walker
  • -28 Points
  • 21:26:45, 8 December

Officer: "Do you realise you were going 80 in a 50 zone?"

Driver: "What's in the past is in the past. It would be foolish to use that knowledge to more deeply understand who I am and how I treat life."

  • [-]
  • cman811
  • 19 Points
  • 21:36:55, 8 December

Yeah, this analogy would work if instead an officer came up to you and said "I saw you a few times years ago doing 80 in a 50". The way you're using it is you're calling the thing that literally just happened "the past".

  • [-]
  • Robert_Walker
  • -17 Points
  • 23:46:33, 8 December

Sure, I see what you mean - but it's a slippery slope. When does "the past" start for you?

  • [-]
  • renaldthefox
  • 6 Points
  • 23:53:08, 8 December

No it isnt. Fucking stupid slippery slope argument.

  • [-]
  • cman811
  • 1 Points
  • 23:57:03, 8 December

Honestly...I don't really know. Years definitely is though. Minutes and hours, not so much. It's probably different for every event I guess? If I had a bad breakup and had trouble getting over it I don't think I would think of it as "the past" until whenever I moved on. So I guess maybe when something is fully resolved and accepted by you?

  • [-]
  • hungwithhate
  • 10 Points
  • 21:37:18, 8 December

Acquaintance: OFFICER! OFFICER! See that guy over there?

Officer: The one sitting in my car? You mean, my partner who I have rode with for several years?

Acquaintance: Yes! Well I saw him going 80 in a 50 zone 6 years ago in a different car in a different state. You should totally ask him about that because it totally has relevance to your current partnership.

  • [-]
  • nouveau1
  • 9 Points
  • 20:44:49, 8 December

Maybe she lied to him about her past, he was only telling his friend the truth. Some people don't care but he says he was the wait till marriage kind of guy so she lied about something that was a big deal to him. What the fuck business is yours what people find important in a partner?

  • [-]
  • The_Worst_Asshole
  • -24 Points
  • 20:13:12, 8 December

I support your decision. I wouldn't want some girl who throws her pussy around like it's nothing.

  • [-]
  • severus66
  • 12 Points
  • 00:39:48, 9 December

Catch-22 ---- that's what they're doing if they decide to fuck you.

Seriously, enough of the slut-shaming. It's tiresome.

If you saw a hot girl you'd fuck her in 30 seconds if she offered --- let's not make up two standards, one standard will do just fine.

  • [-]
  • I_WouldntRecommendIt
  • 2 Points
  • 21:37:30, 8 December

Not like its nothing. More like its a boomerang.

  • [-]
  • mswench
  • 114 Points
  • 21:51:50, 8 December

Go fuck yourself. People are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want when they're single. No shit your girlfriend/fiancée forgave you, you were fucking single. Your past is nice to share but since when the fuck is being single when you're single a deal breaker? Shaming someone for being independently sexual when they're not in a relationship is fucking disgusting, especially when your stupid hypocritical ass was off doing the exact same thing. People like you make me fucking sick. Get the fuck off your high horse. You ruined this girl's chance at love just to feel fucking righteous. Fuck you. Whether or not this girl wanted to share her sexual history with her fiancé was HER choice. And while I think it's fair of her to do so, it was not your fucking choice to make. You clearly misrepresented the situation if it ended their relationship as well. You're a piece of shit.

  • [-]
  • Chainbrain
  • 14 Points
  • 23:28:16, 8 December

I agree with everything you said. Sounds like OP was jealous.

  • [-]
  • humanorgan
  • 4 Points
  • 00:37:07, 9 December

Thank you! I feel the exact same way. The hypocrisy is overflowing with this confession bear.

  • [-]
  • SkyrimNewb
  • -17 Points
  • 00:10:26, 9 December

Actually it's the guys right to know her past, because people are allowed to have standards...What if you were a closet nazi or had an STD, even though things things might be private they are also something someone deserve to know before marriage.

  • [-]
  • merulian
  • 7 Points
  • 00:33:14, 9 December

If she doesn't have any STDs, he has no right to know about her past exploits because they don't affect him. She can talk about it if she wants, but she's not obligated to. If he can't handle not knowing, he can leave.

  • [-]
  • SkyrimNewb
  • -10 Points
  • 00:46:57, 9 December

Yes, it can still affect him. What if someone killed someone in the past (exaggerating to make a point), would you not be allowed to judge them on that, or don't you think you'd deserve to know? If it's something that you would choose not to marry the person over, you definitely deserve to know so you aren't entering a lifelong partnership without knowing necessary information. YES HE CAN LEAVE IF HE CANT HANDLE IT THATS THE WHOLE POINT!

  • [-]
  • merulian
  • 9 Points
  • 00:50:52, 9 December

Are you stupid? Murdering someone is not the same as having sex with a bunch of people, and despite it being an exaggeration, it is not a parallel one at all. If she is clean, it doesn't matter if she's had sex with 2 or 20 people. The end result is that she's clean and having had sex with those people doesn't affect his everyday life whatsoever.

  • [-]
  • SkyrimNewb
  • -8 Points
  • 00:57:10, 9 December

Actually it does, cause when he finds out they will most likely divorce. If she's not stupid she should disclose the information up front. Also the more partners someone has had the less they will be able to pair bond, the more likely they will be able to cheat and just not be able to handle a life long relationship.

[link] (https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/)

Stop whiteknighting and/or defending your slutdom.

  • [-]
  • merulian
  • 4 Points
  • 01:08:50, 9 December

Go the fuck back to /r/MensRights you scumbag. A link to some misogynist's personal blog is the worst possible evidence you could have produced. I get it, you fucking hate women.

If you can't handle the idea of a woman sleeping with multiple partners, you should probably inform her that you lack the self confidence to be in a relationship without knowing just how many cocks beat you to the punch. Then she can decide you're a judgemental piece of shit and leave you.

  • [-]
  • life_threatening
  • -85 Points
  • 22:03:26, 8 December

http://www.justiceforallcitizens.com/images/213_judgejudy.jpg#judge%20judy%20what%20are%20you%20an%20idiot%20213x197

  • [-]
  • mswench
  • 35 Points
  • 22:07:11, 8 December

lol sorry you're a sex-shaming piece of shit but that isn't my fault. Have fun being a judgmental asshole for the rest of your life. I'm sure everyone around you will really respect your hypocritical shit as you talk down to the majority of society by telling them they don't deserve love and happiness because they had sex while single.

  • [-]
  • FluffyUnbound
  • 11 Points
  • 22:15:35, 8 December

OP couldn't break them up unless his friend didn't want to marry a girl with that past.

That means that by definition the girl must have hidden her past from her fiance.

If everyone is entitled to their preferences, that includes the OP's friend. It doesn't matter, at all, if you think that's "slut shaming".

Does the girl "deserve love and happiness"? Sure. Did she deserve it with that particular guy? Only if he was willing to give it to her after he knew the truth. If he wasn't, then she didn't.

  • [-]
  • The_Elysium
  • 2 Points
  • 00:49:11, 9 December

We don't know what the message said. If OP just said "I slept with your girl. Thought you should know", that would sound like it was recently.

If he didn't explain fully, it is likely that the guy thought she was sleeping around behind his back.

  • [-]
  • TestyTexanTease
  • 4 Points
  • 22:33:47, 8 December

I was thinking about how to respond to that then read your comment. I'm not sure I could have said it better. Full disclosure of your past good or not is important. It strengthens any relationship that might be had. Especially if marriage is on the table. ..

  • [-]
  • mswench
  • 1 Points
  • 22:23:24, 8 December

That's fair, yeah. As I said, I think everyone should be open with their partners about their past. Additionally, everyone deserves to be with someone they think they deserve. If OP's friend didn't approve of this girl's past, that's one thing, but that still doesn't change the fact that OP had no fucking business breaking them up. That's obviously what he was looking for, and that's fucked up and hypocritical. He's obviously completely fucking full of himself if he thought he had any place doing that or shaming this girl for doing things that are completely normal and understandable. This girl had plenty of opportunities to talk to her boyfriend about her past, and for all we know, she already had. But to have it shoved in his face in such a shitty and disrespectful way is a completely different story.

  • [-]
  • life_threatening
  • -32 Points
  • 22:38:24, 8 December

You're still missing the point! I didn't give my friend ANY information! I told him to make sure he asked about the girls past. He is the one who questioned her, and from whatever he found out he wasn't ok with. Or maybe she wasn't happy that he started probing into her past. I don't know what their conversation was like, or who got heated or offended. Had I said nothing I am not sure that they would have even gotten married, but yes I did something, and I know that I have a part of the blame.

If you were my friend and withheld any help as to putting light on a situation with my SO I would tell you to fuck off.

  • [-]
  • mswench
  • 14 Points
  • 23:26:42, 8 December

How the fuck was I or anyone else in this entire thread supposed to know you "didn't give him any information"? Your meme didn't reflect that whatsoever. In fact it basically said the exact fucking opposite. Sure, whatever, call me an idiot, but I'm not the fucking dumb ass who COMPLETELY misrepresented the entire situation.

  • [-]
  • TickleFightProTour
  • 2 Points
  • 01:15:44, 9 December

You called him judgmental and a hypocrite yet here you are, still calling him names while he hasn't called you anything.

  • [-]
  • Qcumbaman
  • 5 Points
  • 23:37:25, 8 December

You're missing the point. Not giving any information is worse than telling exactly what happened (not that you had any right to do either). How is he to trust the truth she tells? Hooking up with someone from a website is a pretty normal thing, and not worth having someone create a fake account to disclose a "secret". His imagination likely went to the worst.

Most of us learned to stay out of stuff like this in high school. Hopefully you've matured and learned to mind your own business.

Edit: some words.

  • [-]
  • Lalli-Oni
  • 4 Points
  • 00:02:09, 9 December

Just imagine getting an anonymous tip about your BF/GF. It might be anonymous and not worth much but a random person has a grudge for one reason or another to 'tip you off'.

If that doesn't breed paranoia I have no idea what will.

  • [-]
  • alaska1415
  • 1 Points
  • 01:31:44, 9 December

What if she was going to tell him? And what if they broke up becasue the guy felt she was hiding it from him?

For all we know he broke up with her because she had had sex with OP. Not saying she's awesome and all that, but OP is kind of an ass hole.

  • [-]
  • SkyrimNewb
  • -6 Points
  • 00:10:56, 9 December

You sure are defensive, must be a huge sloot.

  • [-]
  • PapiRoss214
  • -12 Points
  • 00:07:36, 9 December

You sound like you were exposed in your past.

  • [-]
  • mswench
  • 5 Points
  • 00:23:23, 9 December

Tbh, yeah, I was. Exposed to this shitty behavior, that is. I had a violently abusive ex that told me constantly I was basically only good for sex, and then told everyone I was a cheating slut (not true) when I broke up with him just because I started seeing other people. I felt like shit about myself because I internalized his abuse, and I tried to find validation and confidence by having casual sex because I was too stupid and weak to realize he was full of shit and I have a lot more to offer than that. Even after I finally started to recover from this asshole and move on with my life, I was faced with constant hypocritical criticisms from the men in my life about my choices. Once again, I internalized their bullshit, thinking there was something wrong with me; that I was crazy, or trashy, or a slut. Just to fucking find out every single asshole who was criticizing me was just insecure and jealous. Had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with their inability to express their feelings like a fucking adult. So I spent years burying myself in depression and self hatred because of pieces of shit like OP telling me there was something wrong with me, when really there was something wrong with them. So yeah, I don't fucking take kindly to this hypocritical bullshit. It's disgusting, and people who impose their misguided sense of superiority on people who have done nothing wrong outside of living a normal sex life can go fuck themselves.

  • [-]
  • bluewolf37
  • 7 Points
  • 23:09:25, 8 December

So you changed but somehow it is implausible that she can? What if they were both happy being with each other that she didn't mind waiting? If this happened during their relationship I would understand but after its ridicules.

  • [-]
  • OMG_PUGS
  • 131 Points
  • 19:51:41, 8 December

So you're saying you butted into a situation that didn't involve you, ruined it, and you feel good about it? Stay classy.

  • [-]
  • recombination
  • 13 Points
  • 20:31:03, 8 December

Maybe he was trying to sabotage something, but if the friend and fiance were close enough (close enough to be engaged) then he should have already known that she was that type of person and wouldn't have cared (because they already talked through it).

I dated a girl who eventually told me (nervously, because she liked me and didn't want to lose me) how many guys she had been with (in the past), which was something like 20+. She was your typical bar scene girl, which is pretty damn common this days. I was more concerned about STD's than her wild escapades, but we communicated, talked through it, and things were fine afterwords.

  • [-]
  • memtiger
  • -16 Points
  • 20:19:53, 8 December

Informing a friend about the pasts of his gf isn't "butting in". It's being a friend. Give him the information and let him do what he wants with it. I would expect and hope all of my friends would do the same for me

  • [-]
  • cyanide_soup
  • 17 Points
  • 23:52:41, 8 December

He messaged his friend from a fake account, he didnt even have the balls to use his own name. He ruined a relationship bringing up unnecessary past information, just because that's what she used to do doesn't mean that's what she does now.

  • [-]
  • OMG_PUGS
  • 14 Points
  • 20:23:26, 8 December

"oh hey by the way I used to fuck your girlfriend" yeah you're a true friend

  • [-]
  • memtiger
  • 5 Points
  • 20:39:04, 8 December

You think that's bad!? How do you think your friend would feel if he ever found out in the future (either from her or someone else who happened to know) that you had been a fuck buddy of his future wife and never told him??

I have a feeling you'd no longer be a friend of his because you sound like the least trustworthy of friends.

  • [-]
  • Chainbrain
  • 11 Points
  • 23:27:25, 8 December

If you're finding out that a "friend" is getting married because of facebook, you aren't their friend.

  • [-]
  • BobbLobbLaw
  • -3 Points
  • 23:06:03, 8 December

He should know before it gets too serious. unwritten guy code

  • [-]
  • life_threatening
  • -43 Points
  • 19:57:16, 8 December

If I felt good about it, it wouldn't have been posted as a confession.

  • [-]
  • OMG_PUGS
  • -14 Points
  • 19:59:32, 8 December

Just making sure you knew that you're a dick.

  • [-]
  • jumpinglemurs
  • 2 Points
  • 20:56:01, 8 December

Everyone has confessions, and one action does not make someone a dick. Furthermore judging someone based on a few comments on the internet is incredibly stupid.

  • [-]
  • duckvimes
  • 6 Points
  • 00:44:41, 9 December

> Furthermore judging someone based on a few comments on the internet is incredibly stupid.

Depends what the comments are. This guy is rather clearly a complete dickhead.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • -6 Points
  • 21:17:43, 8 December

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • OMG_PUGS
  • -2 Points
  • 21:19:21, 8 December

You can't tell the difference between what OP did and what I did?

  • [-]
  • theonlybluecow
  • 9 Points
  • 22:34:27, 8 December

>She accepted my past and realized that I was different now.

How do you know the girl hadn't changed? Maybe you ruined not only this girls life, but also you buddies.

  • [-]
  • fakehalo
  • 8 Points
  • 23:23:23, 8 December

So you can change as a person but this hookup chick can't. Some of the most hypocritical shit I've seen in awhile.

  • [-]
  • joe-ducreux
  • 2 Points
  • 01:11:53, 9 December

Wow, what a self-righteous asshole. You wife is a lucky woman.

  • [-]
  • techyin326
  • 2 Points
  • 01:35:53, 9 December

Let's all say it together reddit, "YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE"..

  • [-]
  • Lost_in_the_woods
  • 1 Points
  • 01:07:19, 9 December

...Are you kidding me?