Trans disclosure drama in /r/relationships: "Listen dude, I don't want to start a whole Tumblr HerteoCis War here..." (np.reddit.com)
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30 ups - 15 downs = 15 votes
40 comments submitted at 20:56:17 on Mar 14, 2014 by TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK
Couldn't OP just talk to the girlfriend? Seems like she'd want to know that her SO wouldn't want to date her if he knew, anyway, and that way he's not disclosing potentially dangerous secrets.
Although I agree that the boyfriend comes across as a transphobic douchebag, in which case his girlfriend would be much better off without him, there is still the possibility that the answer he gave to his friend about the prospect of dating a trans* woman may not truly be his sincere opinion, but just an obnoxious bit of jabbering between friends. If the latter is the case, the friend may risk ruining the relationship for nothing.
I wasn't trying to say that I thought he was a transphobic douchebag. I kind of hesitate to call anyone that for the simple fact that trans* people don't have a lot of visibility in society. I wouldn't feel right calling someone transphobic if they just have no clue about trans* people or trans* issues. Ignorant, sure.
>If the latter is the case, the friend may risk ruining the relationship for nothing.
That may be, but he has expressed an opinion on the matter, and she should probably know about that so she can make a decision about how to proceed. I don't think OP should be telling his friend about it without her permission, though, given the sensitivity of the subject.
Come on, that's a cop-out, trans* individuals are not some kind of mythical figures, but real human beings most everyone living outside of a cave is familiar with. In this specific case, this particular shitlord was presented with the very scenario of a trans* woman when he expressed his bigotry, so there's absolutely no chance of any ambiguity or ignorance.
I'm not talking about ignorance of their existence. That's be silly unless someone lived under a rock for the past 30 years. But think about how trans women are typically depicted in media. A lot of people have this idea that trans women are all drag queens or that none of them are "feminine", which isn't the case. I can't fault people for not being attracted to typically masculine features--we're conditioned to like certain things and not others--and I can't blame them for being ignorant of the variety among trans* people when we're not regularly presented with them on a day to day basis.
Not wanting to date trans people isn't transphobic. As a straight guy, I'm heterosexual, not heterogenderual.
tone: curious If you're going to put it that way you should be fine with a post op trans woman right? They'd have female sex organs then.
No, wrong. Sex is determined by chromosomes. You can't change that no matter how many "sex" changes you go through.
I can have a dick and I think I'm a woman - gender is just mental. Sex is irreversible.
Below, Alexander_xo points out that this is incorrect. Gender is certainly mental (or, at least, found in the mind, "mental" seems... kinda minimizing), but sex is hardly irreversible.
Yes, because sex != gender, right STEMlord. LOL, fuck off.
Sex and gender are different things; at least that's what the trans community is insistent upon, so far as I've heard. Sex is your chromosomes. For more than 99% of the population, XX chromosome pair means female, XY means male. There are those fractions of one percent outliers that don't fit those two categories, but their numbers are so small as could be considered a rounding error.
>Sex is your chromosomes.
That's not entirely correct. Biological sex in humans is determined by 5 factors (present at birth):
1) Chromosomes (more specifically, the presence/absence of a Y chromosome)
2) Gonads
3) Sex hormones
4) Internal reproductive organs
5) External genitalia
Source: First paragraph under the heading "Sexual dimorphism"
Lol fuck no. There is nothing female about trans men and nothings man like abount trans women. They are both true men and women based on how they identify themselves.