Learning the facts of life ... (i.imgur.com)

11417 ups - 9104 downs = 2313 votes

737 comments submitted at 15:12:39 on Oct 24, 2013 by rufusjonz

  • [-]
  • Luffing
  • 365 Points
  • 18:46:45, 24 October

I've never used the word "creepy" to describe a girl in my life, and I've had plenty of girls who were interested in me but I didn't share their feelings. I also can't think of a time I've heard a guy describe a girl as creepy.

"Creepy" should be reserved for hair sniffing, stalking, public masturbator types, not just guys who think you're cute but aren't that attractive themselves. Girls these days are using the word creepy for practically anything, and it's getting ridiculous.

From the responses I'm getting from girls, I'm going to just go ahead and say that this seems to be one of those "gender issues" that we won't see eye to eye on. I'm sure there are words that girls think us guys overuse to describe them also, as one of the responses pointed out. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

  • [-]
  • N8CCRG
  • 30 Points
  • 20:26:03, 24 October

Then you've never been creeped on by a girl. Trust me. It's very creepy. Think of some girl you know that you find unattractive. Not just looks, but also just off putting in personality too. Now imagine them hanging around you all the time. Doing all the things you do. And when they're there they're dressing as provocatively as they can. And always referencing all the sexual stuff they're thinking of. That's being creepy, and girls do it.

  • [-]
  • Luffing
  • 18 Points
  • 20:28:11, 24 October

Yeah, that is being creepy. Nobody would dispute that.

  • [-]
  • awhaling
  • 6 Points
  • 21:07:01, 24 October

Yeah. But guys get referred to as creepy when they aren't genuinely creepy. Yes, girls can be creepy, but guys don't throw that word around like women do. And even though it gets used so much, it still carries a lot of weight. It's not a word like "awesome" which gets used a lot and has lost it's significance. Creepy still means creepy. So guys will get labeled as such when they aren't deserving of that label and it gives them a really bad image.

  • [-]
  • Ledomefi
  • 3 Points
  • 22:09:49, 24 October

Thanks for using the word awesome. Now I have to go watch Supernatural

  • [-]
  • Consequentialist63
  • 2 Points
  • 22:59:21, 24 October

I've been called creepy a lot but it all stemmed from a lack of confidence/social anxiety because I started going bald at 15. And of course balding is regarded as creepy to a lot of high school (and later on, university) girls, despite it being something I really can't change.

Fortunately, in trade school I was able to let go of all of it because I finally found people who accepted me for who I was and what I was capable of. I naturally gained confidence and completely left my old self behind. I even like how I look now.

  • [-]
  • tracingorion
  • 1 Points
  • 23:36:02, 24 October

Same story here. I think as you get into your mid 20s most people stop judging you for stuff like that. Anyone who thinks you're "creepy" because of something you can't control isn't worth worrying about anyways.

  • [-]
  • DictionaryRescue
  • 7 Points
  • 21:53:23, 24 October

>not just guys who think you're cute but aren't that attractive themselves. Girls these days are using the word creepy for practically anything, and it's getting ridiculous.

I'm a woman who was an RA in a dorm and I've yet to meet a girl who thinks being creepy just means that the creep is unattractive. A person can be super attractive and still creepy. I was with my girlfriends and we were talking to a really hot guy. He was doing great until he made a joke about having sex with kids. Then ti became creepy. His attractiveness had nothing to do with it.

The main problem I have experienced is that creeps don't realize that their behavior is weird and ,well, creepy. Not knowing me a complimenting my breast or butt is creepy. Making sexual advances when I don't know you is creepy. Leering at me from a bus is creepy. Physically stopping me while I am out doing something is creepy. There are times when I call people out about it and they call me a bitch or a tease or say deal with it. They really don't understand that they are being creepy.

>From the responses I'm getting from girls, I'm going to just go ahead and say that this seems to be one of those "gender issues" that we won't see eye to eye on.

How many women have told you that things are only creepy when unattractive guys do it?

  • [-]
  • mollybolly12
  • 10 Points
  • 20:54:49, 24 October

I think instead of creepy girls get called crazy. Like boys say "don't stick your dick in crazy" and girls say "don't engage/interact with creepy." (Maybe not say but that's what we think.)

  • [-]
  • ILL_Show_Myself_Out
  • 1 Points
  • 21:18:47, 24 October

These are words each gender uses to summarily justify their actions without having to say "unattractive."

  • [-]
  • mollybolly12
  • 2 Points
  • 21:32:10, 24 October

Oh yeah I'm not justifying it! Like you said, we just both have our own ways of saying you're ugo.

  • [-]
  • lavender-fields
  • 3 Points
  • 21:37:58, 24 October

For me at least it's not a matter of a guy being unattractive. It's a matter of him not respecting my boundaries or picking up on signals I'm sending. Yes, being unattractive factors into that a bit because if I'm not attracted to him (for whatever reason) I'm going to be sending him signals that he shouldn't be pursuing me. If he continues to do so, then he might be acting creepy. But I really hate this assumption that it's limited to unattractive guys. Attractive men can absolutely be creepy, speaking both theoretically and from personal experience.

I'm so sick of people trying to shame girls for not reciprocating unwanted attention from people they're not attracted to. Being in a situation where a man is refusing to respect our boundaries and leave us alone is threatening and uncomfortable and we have every right to do what we need to do in order to try to end the encounter. If that involves telling the guy he's being creepy, so be it.

  • [-]
  • monokel
  • 1 Points
  • 23:47:42, 24 October

in my experience it is mostly the attractive guys (according to cultural beauty standards) who act creepy. it seems to me that these guys just got away with everything in their lives – because of their allegedly pretty faces – that they have never learned to read "don't-pursue-me-signals" or respect boundaries. I know it is not fair to generalize this, yet it is my experience.

  • [-]
  • DontStrangleBob_yet
  • 22 Points
  • 19:16:43, 24 October

Wait public masturbating is considered creepy? I was told it was sexy sigh

  • [-]
  • dbx99
  • 50 Points
  • 19:28:09, 24 October

It is sexy if you are a hot girl

  • [-]
  • sscspagftphbpdh17
  • 12 Points
  • 20:04:18, 24 October

So hot girls find it sexy when I masturbate in public? Got it.

  • [-]
  • DontStrangleBob_yet
  • 12 Points
  • 19:31:56, 24 October

Oh good, well I will carry on then!

  • [-]
  • Slaytounge
  • 1 Points
  • 19:38:40, 24 October

Confirmed goddess.

  • [-]
  • joggle1
  • 1 Points
  • 21:16:46, 24 October

Men might think it's technically creepy, but most aren't going to complain (unless a female or religious acquaintance is nearby and we need to act like we're as offended as they are).

  • [-]
  • ManwhoreB
  • 83 Points
  • 19:36:19, 24 October

Tarnishing guys as creepy is the female equivalent of slut-shaming. They use it to dismiss guys as worthless to other women

  • [-]
  • Typoe
  • 8 Points
  • 20:50:12, 24 October

Says "ManwhoreB"

  • [-]
  • PmMeYourPussy
  • 61 Points
  • 20:33:04, 24 October

Except sluts aren't worthless to men, and most slut shaming I've heard has been by women.

  • [-]
  • Cheeze1337
  • 42 Points
  • 20:58:01, 24 October

You are absolutely correct.

Source: I'm a guy that loves sluts.

  • [-]
  • hurpington
  • 0 Points
  • 21:15:45, 24 October

yeah, i luv dem strippaz

  • [-]
  • theguyisaguy
  • 0 Points
  • 22:33:40, 24 October

OMG, an alpha male in the wild!

  • [-]
  • hurpington
  • -1 Points
  • 23:08:07, 24 October

nothing says alpha like looking through post histories of random people on reddit

  • [-]
  • theguyisaguy
  • 0 Points
  • 23:09:58, 24 October

I'm not trying to be "alpha".

  • [-]
  • cive666
  • 14 Points
  • 20:59:18, 24 October

I love me some sluts.

  • [-]
  • WorkoutProblems
  • -1 Points
  • 20:46:16, 24 October

Yeah guys usually refer to "sluts" as hoes...

  • [-]
  • PmMeYourPussy
  • 5 Points
  • 20:55:02, 24 October

It's not the term. It's the connotation that's different. When I say, "that girl is a slut", that usually means "She is easy to have sex with, so if you want to have sex go talk to her". I like sex, so that's a positive thing

  • [-]
  • internet_weasel_stud
  • -40 Points
  • 19:39:33, 24 October

Wow it so isn't. Good try, though.

  • [-]
  • commi_nazis
  • 12 Points
  • 19:46:21, 24 October

Actually it ManwhoreB is completely correct. My professor even explained it to the class I was in. Girls will call other girls sluts or ugly in order to make themselves look better to other guys because that's what guys care about. Girls don't care as much about looks and they care more about things like professional success, height, and interaction with children, etc. Guys calling other guys creepy to make themselves look better is totally a thing because no girl wants to be with a creepy guy the same way no guy wants to be with a slutty or ugly girl.

  • [-]
  • OffbeatJenn
  • 12 Points
  • 20:29:19, 24 October

I don't think I've ever heard a man call another man creepy.

  • [-]
  • Teddy-Westside
  • 3 Points
  • 21:34:10, 24 October

There's this super creepy guy at my work and I call him creepy, because the dude is super creepy.

  • [-]
  • shooler00
  • 1 Points
  • 23:24:21, 24 October

I have a friend who is like 6'5'' and gets sloppy wasted and talks to girls with tobacco chew hanging out of his mouth/on his teeth with stains all over his shirt and loudly tells them about previous sexual conquests and whatnot. He's a creepy dude and I've told him that on many occasions. Though with just the right amount of alcohol, everything clicks for him and he turns from creep into alphabro.

  • [-]
  • gabbalis
  • 4 Points
  • 20:35:36, 24 October

What class and professor out of curiosity?

  • [-]
  • YourWaterloo
  • 8 Points
  • 20:14:10, 24 October

Just because a person with a doctorate says something doesn't automatically mean it's true.

  • [-]
  • eccentricguru
  • 5 Points
  • 20:32:22, 24 October

Except guys don't call other guys creepy.

  • [-]
  • WeaponsGradeHumanity
  • 2 Points
  • 20:23:08, 24 October

>My professor even explained it to the class I was in.

This doesn't strengthen your case.

  • [-]
  • tbid18
  • 1 Points
  • 19:57:05, 24 October

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdX_hboIHeU

  • [-]
  • commi_nazis
  • 2 Points
  • 20:05:54, 24 October

It was not a psychology class and just because you posted a clip from youtube does not make my statement incorrect.

  • [-]
  • internet_weasel_stud
  • -12 Points
  • 20:06:03, 24 October

Actually, you had a confused professor. They can be wrong. Yours was.

  • [-]
  • commi_nazis
  • 14 Points
  • 20:07:30, 24 October

explain.

  • [-]
  • kj01a
  • 11 Points
  • 20:15:29, 24 October

She won't explain. She'll just stamp on over to srs cry about how oppressed we're making her.

  • [-]
  • internet_weasel_stud
  • -2 Points
  • 20:52:35, 24 October

Whoah jesus you got me. Here I go. I can't wait to get no karma for posting a link to a boring-ass comment.

  • [-]
  • Gark32
  • 3 Points
  • 20:18:59, 24 October

clearly you should just take his word for it. a random person on the internet obviously knows more than your professor, and has no need for sources or arguments.

  • [-]
  • Campes
  • 37 Points
  • 19:14:55, 24 October

Seriously this. In the early-mid 2000s, it wasn't a thing but now "creepy" gets thrown around all the time. I remember perverted was quite a common word to hear then but I can imagine "creepy" replacing that these days. Even google use over time shows a significant increase for creepy.

  • [-]
  • slitheredxscars
  • 38 Points
  • 19:30:27, 24 October

I rather be called pervert than creep by nowadays standards

  • [-]
  • Apostolate
  • 16 Points
  • 20:12:13, 24 October

Nobody asked you zoidberg.

  • [-]
  • mindwalker94
  • 5 Points
  • 21:16:17, 24 October

Nobody cares Apostolate.

  • [-]
  • Apostolate
  • 0 Points
  • 22:43:27, 24 October

woop woppw woop woop woooop!!!!

::exits sideways::

  • [-]
  • gormster
  • 1 Points
  • 21:00:55, 24 October

Tell me this isn't creepy.

  • [-]
  • guydudeman
  • 0 Points
  • 21:45:58, 24 October

He's paying her a compliment.

  • [-]
  • Frostxtq
  • 0 Points
  • 22:47:19, 24 October

Yeah that's not nice. It's funny though because if a girl would tell me she wet her panties after she saw me I'd probably instantly try to figure out how to go from that to having sex and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

  • [-]
  • Ssithero
  • 9 Points
  • 19:37:06, 24 October

it's almost like they've taken away all the "hurtful words" that people used to use to describe these types of people, so people and language evolved because those words are necessary. so instead of the old words, kids start using different ones to mean the same things.

  • [-]
  • goldeneye91
  • 17 Points
  • 19:40:51, 24 October

I think women tend to jump on the "creepy" bandwagon because that's how we grew to perceive anyone we might not be interested in, but will continue to push in spite of that. We're raised to be alert and rather paranoid when it comes to the opposite sex, and there are certain traits from those we turn down that are supposed to be red flags (for potential stalkers, abusers, sex offenders, etc.). But it's also unfair for us to just pin that on any guy just because we are not interested... I myself prefer to stick it to anyone worthy of /r/creepypms...

  • [-]
  • SAVEMEBARRY_
  • 2 Points
  • 21:09:56, 24 October

as long as you don't believe its ok to hold on to those beliefs just because you were raised with them its fine.

but just because you were raised believing something, doesn't make it right.

thats an extremely difficult concept for a lot of people

  • [-]
  • what_ismylife
  • 26 Points
  • 19:55:47, 24 October

Here's my take on this (I'm a girl). Yes, the word "creepy" is overused by some women (not all) to describe almost exclusively men. Men will rarely use the word "creepy" to describe a woman who makes unwanted advances towards them. I agree that oftentimes women use the word "creepy" to describe things that are really not creepy at all.

However, the word "bitchy" is almost always used to describe women. Women are referred to as "bitchy" when they are genuinely acting like a bitch. However, sometimes people call women "bitchy" when they are assertive, reserved, or displaying various other non-bitchy traits. This word is almost exclusively directed towards women (or men when they are perceived to act like women).

I know it doesn't make the phenomenon of the increased usage of the word "creepy" any better, but it's just another example of how a word has become gendered and overused.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 10 Points
  • 21:05:13, 24 October

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • what_ismylife
  • 5 Points
  • 21:09:03, 24 October

I think you are right on this. "Bitchy" was the first word that came to mind, but "crazy" has a more negative connotation and I do hear about the "crazy ex" a lot these days.

  • [-]
  • calviso
  • 2 Points
  • 21:47:36, 24 October

http://imgur.com/wkgTMQ1

  • [-]
  • ILL_Show_Myself_Out
  • 8 Points
  • 21:15:46, 24 October

My brother beds a lot of women, and whenever a girl gets close and he tells her he's not interested in her romantically, he labels them "crazy" when they react. It's so dismissive and patronizing. Ugh. I can't believe how many times he's done it.

  • [-]
  • IhasAcellular
  • 18 Points
  • 20:01:01, 24 October

> However, the word "bitchy" is almost always used to describe women.

This is correct. The male equivalent is being called an asshole. Nobody calls girls assholes, and barely anyone calls men bitchy.

  • [-]
  • quadbootedpsyche
  • 2 Points
  • 20:33:01, 24 October

I think ones used to take someones self-esteem down and the other was is just to silence the other. Calling a girl ugly would be more a liking.

  • [-]
  • ShitDickMcCuntFace
  • -6 Points
  • 20:27:16, 24 October

Nowadays, it's gender neutral. I hear it directed more at men than women these days.

Bitch (Noun): One who bitches or ruins everybody else's good time by bitching.

That's it.

  • [-]
  • SeinfeldsForeskin
  • 3 Points
  • 21:11:53, 24 October

> "Creepy" should be reserved for hair sniffing, stalking, public masturbator types, not just guys who think you're cute but aren't that attractive themselves. Girls these days are using the word creepy for practically anything, and it's getting ridiculous.

The word has lost a lot of power in the last 5 years. A decade ago it was a social death sentence, now it doesn't mean too much.

  • [-]
  • lululiya
  • 4 Points
  • 21:14:42, 24 October

Creepy is just another word that's been diluted from it's original definition. I wouldn't get too worked up about it. As a girl, when I used the word "creepy" I don't mean to say that the guy is a stalker or a hair sniffer. "Creepy" just means "this guy's behaviour makes me uncomfortable." I think that's fair!

  • [-]
  • STEM_logic
  • -2 Points
  • 21:47:15, 24 October

Slut is just another word that's been diluted from it's original definition. I wouldn't get too worked up about it. As a guy, when I used the word "slut" I don't mean to say that the girl is not worthy of a relationship. "Slut" just means "this girl seems like she's not a prude". I think that's fair.

  • [-]
  • lululiya
  • 5 Points
  • 22:04:39, 24 October

You're right there's no cultural difference between the words creepy and slut

nailed it, partner. you sly dog, you

  • [-]
  • bushiz
  • 8 Points
  • 20:59:39, 24 October

women call dudes "creepy" because it's the only way to reliably shut a dude down. "I have a boyfriend" is "Try harder, make me leave my boyfriend". "I'm just out with friends tonight" is "I'm not always out with friends, so keep trying". "I'm not interested" is "Find something to make me interested".

"You're a creep" can't be turned around like that. It means, unequivocally: "Stop, go away, I don't want to talk to you, leave me alone"

  • [-]
  • tracingorion
  • 1 Points
  • 23:45:46, 24 October

Yes, but that's a case of a guy actually being creepy by refusing to take no for an answer. We're talking about women who throw the term around just because an unattractive guy has a thing for them.

  • [-]
  • Njugguh
  • -2 Points
  • 21:41:57, 24 October

If only language had a way to express that you're not interested without destroying the person you're talking to.

If only there was some way to say "not interested" in words that mean just that.

And people wonder why I don't understand most women.

  • [-]
  • HIGH5VOLTAGE
  • 3 Points
  • 21:55:39, 24 October

"I'm not interested" is "Find something to make me interested". Reading is fundamental.

  • [-]
  • Njugguh
  • -5 Points
  • 22:09:19, 24 October

What do you mean, you just say "Im not interested" and people stop.

  • [-]
  • OffbeatJenn
  • 7 Points
  • 20:28:33, 24 October

I tend to define creepy by whether or not it makes it's target uncomfortable. But mean girls will use it when they weren't uncomfortable just to insult someone who isn't 'good enough' for them.

Overall, I think men's behavior weirds women out more often than vice-versa, likely because women are more vulnerable than men.

  • [-]
  • SAVEMEBARRY_
  • 4 Points
  • 21:11:25, 24 October

i'm not saying women aren't more vulnerable than men, but in most everyday situations guys aren't trying to rape, kidnap, roofie, or kill you so i think its pretty equal footing between the normal people of soceity in that regard

  • [-]
  • okaycreeper
  • 1 Points
  • 23:44:35, 24 October

But you never know that. Of course I don't go around assuming every guy is a rapist, but you don't know he isn't one until, well, never. Because acquaintance rape.

  • [-]
  • SAVEMEBARRY_
  • 1 Points
  • 23:56:33, 24 October

That's...the most simple minded childish way to look at it.

  • [-]
  • ILL_Show_Myself_Out
  • 4 Points
  • 21:17:55, 24 October

Doesn't getting hit on at all by someone you aren't interested in make you uncomfortable? I feel really uncomfortable knowing I have to reject or somehow get out of a conversation with a girl.

But I get what you mean.

  • [-]
  • Back41DayOnly
  • 2 Points
  • 23:03:01, 24 October

Just don't ever talk to anyone. Problem solved.

  • [-]
  • Raelrapids
  • 10 Points
  • 19:05:38, 24 October

And men use it to describe other men while in front of women to seem like they are more affable. "Creeper" being the main term used. I can not stand traitors.

  • [-]
  • Crocnavich
  • 45 Points
  • 19:33:12, 24 October

> I can not stand traitors.

Do you actually perceive yourself as being on a team?

  • [-]
  • Typoe
  • 8 Points
  • 20:50:59, 24 October

He's the water boy.

  • [-]
  • Back41DayOnly
  • 2 Points
  • 22:50:33, 24 October

Gatorade's better.

  • [-]
  • MisterPotamus
  • 28 Points
  • 19:40:05, 24 October

Sorry bud but, if we aren't friends, then your ass is going under the bus for some pussy.

  • [-]
  • Raelrapids
  • 4 Points
  • 19:44:30, 24 October

Yea I get it. Why not?

  • [-]
  • Capone3830
  • 2 Points
  • 19:47:29, 24 October

how about you know.. letting some girl decide without manipulating her and badmouthing some guy you dont even know?

  • [-]
  • chadpatrick
  • 20 Points
  • 19:51:54, 24 October

You know nothing, Jon Snow.

  • [-]
  • HalfysReddit
  • 4 Points
  • 20:11:09, 24 October

Because refusal to play the game just means one is obligated to lose.

Let's face the harsh reality - people manipulate. It's natural. Most of it's subconscious, but it's part of co-existing. Ever refrain from certain subject matter around certain people? Ever act extra goofy to cheer a friend up? Ever intentionally lower your voice to attract the attention of some lady? All manipulation.

Now, badmouthing dudes who don't deserve it I don't agree with. But if one doesn't manipulate at least in some capacity, then the person they are attracted to will be manipulated by somebody else.

This is why so many men are all "women only date assholes", well it's because they foolishly believed they would have any sort of success without playing the game, and recognize that the successful guys are playing the game, but instead of entertaining the idea that they're the problem, they just lament that all women and all men that attract women are the problem.

Manipulation can be bad, but it's not inherently bad, and it's something all people engage in.

  • [-]
  • InOranAsElsewhere
  • 1 Points
  • 20:47:06, 24 October

> Manipulation can be bad, but it's not inherently bad

Really good point. So many people try to frame it that way, but it's necessary not just in dating but in life. To move up the social ladder at work, some manipulation is going to happen. That doesn't make it okay, but it's possible to manipulate without anyone getting hurt and in a way that benefits everyone.

Unfortunately, when people say this, they mostly just get branded as a sociopath.

  • [-]
  • Back41DayOnly
  • 1 Points
  • 22:55:13, 24 October

> Manipulation can be bad, but it's not inherently bad,

I think that is something that each person has to decide on for them self. Personally I think manipulation is for people who are to weak to succeed otherwise. So now we have a bunch of "successful" people in positions they don't deserve gumming things up and making a mess of things.

  • [-]
  • bigdickmoneybags
  • 1 Points
  • 20:34:24, 24 October

idk bruh i never "play the game" and i get pussy

  • [-]
  • theRainChicken
  • 1 Points
  • 20:57:02, 24 October

> I've never used the word "creepy" to describe a girl in my life

I have. This girl legitimately stalked me but would never talk to me. It was pretty damn creepy. She would just follow me around parties and shit. I would try to start a conversation with her and she would never talk. Until that one time...

  • [-]
  • Pressondude
  • 1 Points
  • 21:28:59, 24 October

I've definitely used the word creepy to describe some girls that I know. They were doing really, really weird, truly stalker shit though.

My (male) friend got called a creep for asking the girl who sat next to in class to homecoming, since they seemed to be friends and stuff. Actually, I thought he had a good chance (they seemed to be at least friends).

  • [-]
  • Luffing
  • 0 Points
  • 21:31:38, 24 October

That's exactly the kind of shit that I was referring to. Asking a girl to homecoming is something most guys have to do at some point, how is that creepy especially if they knew eachother and talked a lot... She could just say "no thanks" instead of labeling him in a shitty way.

  • [-]
  • DJDanaK
  • 4 Points
  • 22:30:57, 24 October

we're really gonna use highschoolers as an example? 'cause when I was in highschool I got called a fucking whore and laughed at for even showing up to homecoming (because there was a rumor about me sleeping with TWO PEOPLE - oh god no!).

Point being, highschoolers are not models of adult behavior.

  • [-]
  • Pressondude
  • 1 Points
  • 21:35:13, 24 October

She's a shitty girl. She didn't know I knew him, and when I asked her why she was upset she didn't have a date to homecoming (after the fact) she said it was because "only creepy nerd guys ask [her] out." I told her that he was my friend...and then she said she didn't know I was a nerd stopped talking to me, too.

  • [-]
  • Thoust
  • 1 Points
  • 19:59:13, 24 October

I once had a girl walk up to me in a grocery store parking lot and say, "excuse me sir, I just wanted to tell you you're very attractive." She was not, and it was kind of creepy and weird, especially because I worked there and was just collecting carts.

  • [-]
  • HalfysReddit
  • 4 Points
  • 20:14:03, 24 October

I gotta be honest, I find it difficult to call this creepy.

  • [-]
  • Luffing
  • 0 Points
  • 20:19:28, 24 October

Alright so in this example, if she was someone you found attractive, would you really consider the simple act of her saying that to you "creepy"?

Either way, unless you went out of your way to tell your friends and people who also know that girl how "creepy" she is, or call her creepy to her face, no harm was done to her.

  • [-]
  • Thoust
  • -1 Points
  • 20:27:44, 24 October

If was hot, then no, it wouldn't have been creepy. This is how it works for everyone. Hot people can get away with doing audacious things like that because their attention is actually welcome. If the mom from Honey Boo Boo snuck up to you and whispered something sexual in your ear, would you be creeped out? What if it was Jennifer Lawrence?

  • [-]
  • HIGH5VOLTAGE
  • 1 Points
  • 21:49:55, 24 October

Yes, how dare women use adjectives.

  • [-]
  • GARBAGEDAYY
  • 1 Points
  • 22:41:46, 24 October

blah blah blah it must be my looks why do girls have the right to say no why do they date assholes and not nice guys clearly this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them blah blah blah

  • [-]
  • tracingorion
  • 2 Points
  • 23:50:47, 24 October

They're just making an observation about society. No need to make fun of them for it.

  • [-]
  • GARBAGEDAYY
  • 1 Points
  • 00:00:40, 25 October

It's an untrue one that bitter men use when they keep getting rejected, so they don't have to change their own behaviour.

  • [-]
  • tracingorion
  • 1 Points
  • 00:03:08, 25 October

Things aren't that black and white though. I think there's some truth to it but there's also those men who use it as an excuse.

  • [-]
  • BaduRainsDestruction
  • 1 Points
  • 22:56:22, 24 October

Blah blah blah you choose to be offended blah blah free speech blah.

  • [-]
  • sexyhangnail
  • -18 Points
  • 19:05:12, 24 October

The difference is you don't have an 'alarm' of worry going off in your head if an unattractive girl is staring you down. If ANY guy is staring me down I start to get a bit worried and uneasy. Just not a normal thing to do

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • 18 Points
  • 19:07:30, 24 October

...for girls. For guys, when a girl is staring them down, it's flattering, even if the girl is ugly.

  • [-]
  • chocos
  • 4 Points
  • 19:18:13, 24 October

I speak for myself, I'm extremely shy, and I get uncomfortable within a second of staring, regardless of how attractive the girl is. I'd much rather have a casual conversation than stare it out to convey my attraction.

  • [-]
  • sexyhangnail
  • 0 Points
  • 19:17:14, 24 October

What if that girl stared at you every day. Or started writing you poems, or stared at you without blinking for a full 5 minutes. Or followed you home. Or sent flowers to your house.

Sometimes trying too hard to be 'romantic' just comes off as socially clueless and creepy, becuase we don't know who you are. Try talking to us and being a bit braver.

The problem is not with the person who is uncomfortable. They just don't like the behaviour and did nothing to warrent someone getting pissy that they didnt respond to their unwanted approaches.

  • [-]
  • chadpatrick
  • 4 Points
  • 20:08:43, 24 October

> What if that girl stared at you every day.

You said ANY guy. Not the same one daily.

> Or started writing you poems

That is sweet. If I were not interested I would explain this instead of dismissing the behavior and person as creepy or dangerous.

> or stared at you without blinking for a full 5 minutes.

Honestly

> Or followed you home.

Then you can worry.

> Or sent flowers to your house.

Sorry ... you lost me again. Unless you are allergic, I don't see the danger.

> The problem is not with the person who is uncomfortable. They just don't like the behaviour and did nothing to warrent someone getting pissy that they didnt respond to their unwanted approaches.

So now you are using your discomfort at someone who has the unmitigated gal to look at you without having the decency to be attractive first to justify your prejudgment of them and your absurd sense of danger.

I see.

  • [-]
  • InOranAsElsewhere
  • 2 Points
  • 20:50:01, 24 October

I think an unspoken idea here (I may be wrong, but this is how I read it), is that all of these things are happening with no indication of attraction and potentially an indication otherwise.

  • [-]
  • chadpatrick
  • 0 Points
  • 20:55:04, 24 October

No indication of mutual attraction. I agree.

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • -9 Points
  • 19:18:29, 24 October

I would love it....

  • [-]
  • zipzapzippydyzoom
  • 5 Points
  • 19:20:55, 24 October

What if a woman that you didn't find attractive raped you and fucked you with a strap-on?

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • 6 Points
  • 19:24:04, 24 October

That escalated quickly....

  • [-]
  • specialk16
  • 1 Points
  • 22:25:51, 24 October

> fucked you with a strap-on?

Aha! So you are one of those who doesn't believe a woman can rape a man by traditional intercourse right?

  • [-]
  • MrGoneshead
  • 1 Points
  • 20:02:43, 24 October

Did you know:

One of the best ways to find out if something is "true" or not is to count the number of caveats one has to make to keep it true in the face of counter examples. If you have to keep counting, it's probably not a very true statement.

This is very similar to the logic behind Occams's Razor.

Watching as the increasingly overdone and illegal activities everyone is adding to this theoretical "creepy" woman versus the fact that until you start getting into literal anal rape, most dudes would be fine with it, I think it's pretty safe to say that this is a gender exclusive deal.

  • [-]
  • zipzapzippydyzoom
  • 0 Points
  • 20:43:10, 24 October

I am trying to make you see it from a woman's perspective. If a strange man is staring at me for minutes, or worse, following me around, then I will get uncomfortable. Why? Because I don't want anything to do with this guy but I'm getting the signal that he wants something from me. Is the possibility of this man raping me higher than the possibility of the other men around raping me? To me, it is. What is the chance of me escaping if he attempted to rape me? Depends on on the location. But there is not a chance I will be able to defend myself or prevent rape if the said man caught me.

If we are talking about a stalker, that's even worse. You don't know which corner he will pop out from and there is even a higher chance of him cornering you in an isolated place.

A friend of mine dated this one guy for a week and he stalked her for 3 YEARS. He even found her home address somehow and came knocking on her door. We were 14 at the time, the guy was 17. Nonstop texting for 3 years, constant harassment, he wasn't even living in the city she lived in. I can't even imagine how terrifying that must have been.

TL;DR Women are scared of getting raped while men don't have that problem.

  • [-]
  • MrGoneshead
  • 1 Points
  • 20:52:14, 24 October

No you see, I get it. I really do. But the point I'm trying to point out is BS is that of "this happens to both sexes guys! When an ugly girl comes on to a guy, it's just as creepy" because it doesn't and isn't. Mostly because of exactly what you just said.

I was internet stalked by some random British girl for like, 3 years when I was younger. And this was the pre-Facebook era when that took some effort. I just found it mildly amusing and kind of sad to be honest.

The only group of people I'm afraid of getting raped by are other guys . . . if I somehow end up in jail. I'm not alone in that point of view.

  • [-]
  • zipzapzippydyzoom
  • 1 Points
  • 21:19:31, 24 October

Then you should have commented on another person's comment because that's not the point I'm trying to make. I didn't say that ugly girl hitting on some dude vs. ugly dude hitting on some girl had the same amount of creepiness.

I was just agreeing with /u/sexyhangnail . I think her point was that she would feel uncomfortable if a dude stalked or stared right at her because she would feeling threatened.

  • [-]
  • hitoku47
  • -2 Points
  • 19:24:13, 24 October

Some people pay good money for that type of experience ^^^just ^^^sayin

  • [-]
  • SnausageFest
  • 4 Points
  • 19:34:51, 24 October

Do you not understand what rape is?

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • 1 Points
  • 19:37:00, 24 October

He's talking about rape fantasy, or "force" fantasy... Not technically rape, but still...

  • [-]
  • SnausageFest
  • 3 Points
  • 19:38:08, 24 October

I understand that, but he's saying in that response to a comment that was very clearly talking about real rape, the kind that is not a fantasy and not welcome.

More Comments - Not Stored
  • [-]
  • HalfysReddit
  • 3 Points
  • 20:18:02, 24 October

For the record, that's typically referred to as paranoia.

What you call staring-down, to most may be just an occasional glance. What makes you uncomfortable, to most may be absolutely fine.

How many times in your entire life has a guy stared you down and then stabbed you, or raped you, or in some other way harmed you? Are your fears based off experience, or are you afraid just because someone taught you to be afraid?

Not trying to be confrontational here, I just think it's very likely you're unnecessarily living a poor quality of life with little trust for others.

  • [-]
  • BRDtheist
  • -2 Points
  • 20:31:48, 24 October

Based on that one comment you can diagnose her with paranoia? Hilarious.

  • [-]
  • mrbiggens
  • 2 Points
  • 20:52:00, 24 October

"A guy is looking at me that I don't like. Def a creeper"

That is, indeed, paranoia.

  • [-]
  • BRDtheist
  • -2 Points
  • 20:56:57, 24 October

looking =/= "staring [you] down"

  • [-]
  • DontStrangleBob_yet
  • -1 Points
  • 19:32:48, 24 October

I totally agree with this. Even a weaker guy could easily overpower me in any situation, so my instincts kick in.

  • [-]
  • siswai
  • -8 Points
  • 19:36:17, 24 October

>Girls these days are using the word creepy for practically anything, and it's getting ridiculous.

I don't know where you're basing this from, I have never observed this ever in my life or my female circle of friends. It's one thing to show interest in someone and be rejected, it's another to be rejected and still keep coming on to the person. Anyone can experience this. And if you do that, you are creepy.

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • 20 Points
  • 19:41:35, 24 October

My anecdotal evidence contradicts your anecdotal evidence...

  • [-]
  • InOranAsElsewhere
  • 3 Points
  • 20:56:45, 24 October

Mind if I add my anecdotal evidence?

> It's one thing to show interest in someone and be rejected, it's another to be rejected and still keep coming on to the person.

While it's not every situation, I have seen a number of girls refer to a guy as a creeper or a stalker and never reject him. Hell, a good chunk of the time, they're encouraging it by continuing to respond.

Yes, I've seen other cases, but to say "I have never observed this ever in my life or my female circle of friends" is ridiculous and, most likely, a misconception at best and an outright lie at worst.

Edit: Forgot the y in every.

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • 2 Points
  • 21:01:09, 24 October

Yep, I seen that to...

Sometimes guys lead on girls because they want sex more than companionship, sometimes girls lead on guys because they want companionship more than sex.

I'm not making any moral judgements about it, just acknowledging that it happens.

  • [-]
  • InOranAsElsewhere
  • 2 Points
  • 21:10:15, 24 October

> Sometimes guys lead on girls because they want sex more than companionship, sometimes girls lead on guys because they want companionship more than sex.

Hell, I've even seen it happen vice versa. I've known a couple women who referred to a guy as a creeper while using him for sex. Hell, one close friend of mine referred to a guy as her stalker and wound up dating him.

> I'm not making any moral judgements about it, just acknowledging that it happens.

Yeah, definitely. I just think at that point, you can't really use words like "creepy" or "stalker" if you're actively encouraging the behavior. Maybe I'm just crazy, though.

  • [-]
  • SS4james
  • 2 Points
  • 21:12:46, 24 October

>Maybe I'm just crazy, though.

You're not, man, you're just observant and have spent more time in a social setting than those here who are denying this happens at all.

  • [-]
  • siswai
  • -2 Points
  • 20:01:00, 24 October

It seems like a lot of guys have a different definition of what being creepy actually is. Creepy is making someone feel uncomfortable; if I'm sitting on the bus reading or with my headphones in and a dude tries to make conversation, fine. But if I show signs of disinterest (as in I want to be left alone to mind my own business) and he continues to bother or speak to me, then he is creepy.

  • [-]
  • browntimmy
  • 4 Points
  • 20:18:10, 24 October

That's simply called "being annoying". "Creepy" would depend on what he's saying. If it was an old women on the bus who won't shut up about her dog would that be creepy?

  • [-]
  • mega_shit
  • 0 Points
  • 19:48:34, 24 October

Dude, I like hair sniffing! If I'm on the Bart or the Muni and a chick walks in with good smelling hair I sort just orbit around here.

  • [-]
  • jamasiel
  • 0 Points
  • 19:50:30, 24 October

Your usage is not an effective data set.

  • [-]
  • sscspagftphbpdh17
  • 0 Points
  • 20:01:55, 24 October

The word of choice is "creepers"

  • [-]
  • dylanbob5
  • -1 Points
  • 20:30:03, 24 October

Sir, if I had the money to guild you, I would.