How I killed my One-itis (self.seduction)

{seduction}

76 ups - 29 downs = 47 votes

Its been about a year since I subscribed to seddit, but I would only visit it when I was preparing for a night out or when one of its posts made it to my front page. About a month ago I started really absorbing the community and have been visiting the page about once every other day. I was just ditched by my date on Valentines day last night and was feeling like shit. Last night instead of going out I stayed in and proceeded to get hammered and throw myself an undeserved pity party. I woke up this morning feeling just as shitty and still felt the need to reach out to her...until I logged back into seddit. Coming here instantly reminded me of just how many women are out there and that the pickings are anything but slim. Seriously, if you're struggling with branching out and exploring your options, or are having trouble getting over "The One", do yourself a favor and spend some time on this subreddit, it'll do wonders. This will probably get buried but I just want to thank all of you who post and the whole community in general, you're helping us in areas where our fathers failed.

TL;DR: Visit seddit more often and you'll remember how many opportunities are out there, breaking your one-itis.

34 comments submitted at 13:22:56 on Feb 15, 2013 by OftenSilentObserver

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -12 Points
  • 15:22:20, 15 February

Maybe that "One" is worth fighting for :)

  • [-]
  • lcarusLives
  • 6 Points
  • 15:45:17, 15 February

Perhaps, but don't use it as a reason to not approach other women

  • [-]
  • TheUniverseScreams
  • -3 Points
  • 16:11:50, 15 February

What the fuck us wrong with you

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -3 Points
  • 16:18:02, 15 February

What? What the fuck is wrong with you? I've found my soulmate, have you? Probably not.

  • [-]
  • rook218
  • 5 Points
  • 18:01:14, 15 February

Then why are you here?

  • [-]
  • TheUniverseScreams
  • 3 Points
  • 16:29:03, 15 February

There is no such thing as a soulmate, my friend. You have found love, just as I have, but there was no fate involved.

The advice you gave, your comment, is negative for OP, and will hurt his health.

edit: more grammar

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -4 Points
  • 16:31:35, 15 February

I do believe in soulmates, my friend. Nothing you can say will change that, just as nothing I can say will change your beliefs.

  • [-]
  • teddy_
  • 6 Points
  • 17:01:16, 15 February

Statistically speaking, your soul mate lives in India or China

  • [-]
  • OftenSilentObserver
  • 6 Points
  • 17:06:05, 15 February

No way man, she definitely lives in a 5 mile radius and is clearly the first person that likes me that I like too. Out of 7 billion, she's obviously the one and only.

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -3 Points
  • 18:26:55, 15 February

Lol that's not how it works man. I am NOT saying you should go after this girl. I am saying if you find that special someone who you can't seem to live without, have fun with, and just love wholeheartedly, you shouldn't just push those feelings aside just to preserve "the game." Jeez I guess the dudes on seddit really don't get any, you sensitive!

  • [-]
  • Eggsandwich
  • 1 Points
  • 01:12:35, 16 February

I think people are jumping on what you said because of how absurd the idea of a soulmate is. If you acknowledge soulmates, then you acknowledge some divine plan of preselecting which souls go in which bodies when they are born and some complex sequence of events will lead you up to meeting each other at some point in your lives. At the same time, the divine power has to have the clairvoyance of seeing any potential geopolitical disturbance, act of nature (which you may refer to as an act of god), or some other event that falls under the idea of the butterfly effect, and take that into consideration, just to satisfy your selfish need to find a mate. You should probably wake up from that Disney-induced dream of yours and start realizing that there is absolutely no predetermined plan in the universe. You are a distant relative of that scum that you wipe off the bottom of your shoe, AND that piece of flesh that you had on your dinner plate last night. Wake up, and you'll thank me when you finally start to truly see the big picture.

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • 0 Points
  • 17:45:57, 16 February

Cool story bro, though I didn't read all of it. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -1 Points
  • 18:06:51, 15 February

Nope, he lives with me in the US <3

  • [-]
  • OftenSilentObserver
  • 2 Points
  • 16:59:58, 15 February

I think the point here is that oneitis is something that this community tries to avoid because it hinders your potential. You found someone you like and likes you, that's great, if that was your intention. But this subreddit is aimed specifically at enhancing your skills as a PUA, something that you don't seem to be interested in.

  • [-]
  • TheUniverseScreams
  • 3 Points
  • 16:58:15, 15 February

Well, you see... Seddit, and Reddit as a whole, doesn't have beliefs that are conducive to the idea of soulmates. First off, we are all pretty materialist. That means we take the view that nothing exists except that which can be touched. Souls cannot be touched, therefore they are, at best, irrelevant, and, at worse, nothing but a fairy tale. The idea of destiny requires some sort of teleology and we all generally reject an external teleology.

So, the idea of soulmates is useless from this perspective. But here at Seddit, we consider it unhealthy. A scientist type can, plausibly, believe that soulmates are a useful illusion to personally have because it builds relationship strength and gives romance. But Seddit rejects this because the romantic guy is a nice guy, and the nice guy is unhappy. To Seddit, romance is not an end or a mean. It is a byproduct. It is the feeling a girl gets when she sees a male display value, when he communicates his intentions. It is the feeling a man gets when the girl receives them openly. He doesn't go after that feeling.

You would have OP use romantic illusions. She is "The One"? If he tells her that, or if she even thinks he us hinting at that, he is done. No value has been displayed. Like a shitty cardboard box with a diamond in it and a note that says, "pick me, i'm the one" she will ignore it because there us no value displayed. There are rubies and gems to find elsewhere.

So, romance and soulmates are not useful to get a girl. Are they useful as a mindset? No. There are more than three and a half billion potential mates on the planet, and you want him to stop and try to win one who showed only a little attention to him? It's suicide.

Oneitis causes pain and discomfort for both parties involved. It destroys a males social status and makes girls think he is disgusting. It should never be encouraged.

Tl;Dr: read the sidebar, troll.

^^^edit: ^^^spelling/grammar

  • [-]
  • TheCuriousDude
  • 3 Points
  • 17:32:54, 15 February

You do an excellent job explaining part of why most people don't take to Seddit. I believe in mutual attraction and compatibility being the most important component of relationships. Seeing how it easy it is be attracted to someone and how there are only so many ways to be compatible, one comes to the conclusion that there is far greater number of suitable mates than initially thought. Even if you disregard the rest of the world and restrict your pool to your city, depending on the size of the city, there is still a rather large number of suitable mates. This conclusion doesn't gel well with society's romantic ideal of everyone having a single soul mate.

  • [-]
  • TheUniverseScreams
  • 3 Points
  • 17:43:38, 15 February

>This conclusion doesn't gel well with society's romantic ideal of everyone having a single soul mate.

I think this is true, but there is partially the problem of people's need to feel special. That is, people need a soulmate because they feel insecure without one. Lets say you are a nice AFC with a neckbeard and huge waistline and suddenly you find yourself in a relationship. "OH FUCK." This is important shit for you. You screw it up, you'll be single for the rest of your days.

The creation of a "soulmate" is an unhealthy way of getting out of this problem because you can't screw it up anymore. The relationship is literally ordained by some mechanism in the Universe. Your happiness isn't something to have Catholic guilt about, its something that God wants you to have and will not take away.

Of course, this is wrong, and your soulmate will feel squeezed by you... or they'll be insecure and weak (see: shitty) enough that they squeeze back. Two people suffocating each other in selfish self-induglence, despite professing they're "selfless lovers."

Really, I think that one of Seddit's best attributes is the ability to wade through this mess and cut the crap.

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -1 Points
  • 18:16:54, 15 February

I'm sorry you are so jaded :(

And I really don't care what Reddit as a whole thinks. I know what I believe, and that does NOT have to conform to some general attitude. Don't say what I believe is wrong because it goes against mainstream Reddit. You are very ignorant and jaded and I feel sorry for you.

  • [-]
  • TheCuriousDude
  • 4 Points
  • 18:20:45, 15 February

TheUniverseScreams is merely being logical and realistic, not jaded. You're delusional and I feel sorry for you. I just upvoted everyone here, which I don't normally do. But, because you seem to have taken it upon yourself to downvote everyone, I felt it necessary.

  • [-]
  • CheesyChef
  • -2 Points
  • 18:37:28, 15 February

I'm just happy, in love, and get laid on a daily basis :)

RELAX

  • [-]
  • OftenSilentObserver
  • 1 Points
  • 06:56:23, 16 February

So I think the real question is: why the fuck are you on this subreddit?

More Comments - Not Stored
  • [-]
  • TheUniverseScreams
  • 3 Points
  • 18:32:17, 15 February

>I really don't care what Reddit as a whole thinks.

Good, neither do I. However, there is a reason that you were downvoted to Oblivion.

>Don't say what I believe is wrong because it goes against mainstream Reddit

I say it is wrong because it is based off silly premises.

>You are very ignorant

This is empirically false.

> and jaded

This is empirically true.

>and I feel sorry for you.

This is patronizing.

  • [-]
  • feature2533
  • -1 Points
  • 16:26:37, 15 February

She may be worth fighting for.. it all depends on what led to the falling out... and, how you plan to fight.. If she cheated or was deceitful, maybe let her come back on her own but I seriously doubt fighting for her is a healthy move.. If its something you did.. and, think you can correct.. then, demonstrate that you're workin on fixin it.. and, make it clear to her you are.. and, in one relatively brief conversation.. leave it at that .. just don't fight by calling/texting every fifteen minutes beggin for forgiveness.. and, teliing her ur getting better.. that's my opinion on the matter..