User gives her advice on approaching women and asking them out. r/Askmen is none to pleased. Eventually mods step in and tell her why she's being downvoted and to quit it. (np.reddit.com)
SubredditDrama
125 ups - 44 downs = 81 votes
219 comments submitted at 14:56:05 on Feb 27, 2014 by david-me
Why do you have this need to approach people out of the blue?
Because he doesn't live in a nightmare dystopia where everyone is a threat waiting with bated breath for the attack?
That in no way explains why he has a desire specifically to approach and strike up conversations with complete strangers.
He's a friendly person who likes human interaction?
And yet he can only ask strangers out on dates?
At what point did he make that absolute statement? When did he say "I exclusively talk to strangers." Do you even think before you type? Do you actively write scripts for the words you put in people's mouths? It is possible talking to a stranger is just one avenue used to meet new people, you fucking psycho.
http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1z37az/usergivesheradviceonapproachingwomen_and/cfq3ofr
That is how the other guy started giving advice. Then he asked for advice being social specifically with strangers (because he's trying to ask out female strangers).
So you even read?
Asking for advice specifically on approaching strangers, does not imply strangers are the only people he approaches. It implies that they are a subset of people he interacts with where assistance is needed on when that is appropriate. Bro, do you even logic?
He's trying to make new friends and gain new experiences - just trying to enjoy life. Have you never done this?
I do not view "cold approaching strangers with sexual intent" as a great mechanism for enjoying life.
It is a great mechanism for pissing off strangers, though.
Can you show me where he wrote that, because I must have missed it?
http://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/1z37az/usergivesheradviceonapproachingwomen_and/cfq3ofr
Then the other guy starts giving advice on being more social, he says the advice has to be tailored to being social with strangers (cause he's trying to ask random women out on dates).
You do know that /u/FlapjackFreddie and /u/StrawRedditor are two different users, right? And that some men are actually looking for something beyond sexual encounters?
No, I got mixed up and thought the first post was StrawRedditor, too. I was wrong.
You seem awfully quick to light someone on fire. For curiosity's sake, would you mind me asking why that is?
That's a valid question, too!
I have never been one to chat up strangers too much. But that hasn't stopped me, a man approaching middle-age, balding, overweight, from having lots of fulfilling relationships. You just gotta be patient, understand that the friend zone isn't the be-all end-all of your interactions with women who are friends, and treat others like human beings.
I did all these things, and somehow I wasn't a loser beta who never got laid. The whole Be Attractive/Don't Be Unattractive excuse (because that's what that is) that redditors make ignores that attractiveness can be mental, and that you can develop a personality as much as you can work out and develop a body.
What's wrong with talking to strangers? I'll strike up a conversation if I'm waiting in line, in the elevator, have a funny observation to make, recognize a reference from someone's t-shirt, etc.
Well, StrawRedditor's goal isn't to just have a conversation or exchange pleasantries. His goal is to ask women out on a date or to give him their number or something. Which I think is pretty different in it's motivation from just commenting on the weather to someone else in the checkout line.
I do think it's douchey to constantly interrupt strangers' days to try and get something you want (sexual attention/interaction) from them. An elevator in a mall is not a bar. Folks are just trying to do errands or whatever, not know how someone's genitals feel about them.
This does tie into being able to read body language, though - if someone looks open and not busy, sure, try a flirty conversation. If they seem to like you, ask them out. But that is not something people should be advising people who specifically lack social skills to do. That's just going to lead to them annoying a lot of people who don't want to talk to them.
This goes beyond sexual attraction - this can be just about making friends with new people. I may have missed something, but it seems like you are the one tying this solely to interactions with sexual intentions.
Seems a bit jaded.
Why does it seem that you view that as a bad thing?
Cause I get really fucking tired of men alerting me to how their genitals feel about me when I'm trying to buy groceries?
I think you're justified being put off by the lack of compassion for your perspective, yet you are completely lacking it for what it's like for the other side too.
Oh wow poor men who don't get to let women know they think we're hot if we don't want to talk to them?
You know, I've engaged you twice and both times reflected that I understand your point of view and agree that from your perspective these experiences are negative. You're responding to each person here as if this is the linked thread when we just want to laugh at the ridiculousness of both sides arguing to such an extreme. This is SRD, not AskMen, so take your abrasiveness out to where the actual drama is. SRDD here we come.
The vitriol coming from this woman is astounding.
So every interaction from a man is grounded in sexual intention from your point of view? You don't think that might be a little warped and misguided?
Yes. It is totally warped and misguided to assume flirting and comments on my physical attractiveness are sexually motivated.
Are you fucking kidding?
If you're willing to stop for a second, and reread what I wrote:
>So every interaction from a man is grounded in sexual intention from your point of view?
There are plenty of people, men and women alike, that talk to people in an innocent manner just for the sake of conversation. There are also plenty of people that are looking for companionship. I'm not denying that some people have less than pure intentions, but this is not always the case, as hopefully you are aware. I'm not talking about just that though.
It is simply wrong to think that every time a man talks to you he is trying to get into your pants. And not just morally wrong, factually as well.
Okay, this is really frustrating. Maybe StrawRedditor was talking about striking up conversations for whatever reason and I was wrong in assuming he was talking about approaching specifically women.
But this is a topic about approaching women with sexual motivation. That's what the OP is, that's what the discussion is.
I initially ignored your question because it's useless. It is entirely ridiculous and a cheap attempt at insult to claim, when I am obviously talking specifically about men cold approaching women they find hot, that I am somehow paranoid and hate all men or never have normal interactions with them.
Because I dislike when strangers try to flirt with or hit on me, I somehow have a warped worldview? Or just because I'm not bringing up good interaction I have with men in a topic not about that?
It's quite easy for threads in a post to divulge into different topics, and there are no rules that they must revolve around the original post. I imagine that we are reading it differently, but it seemed to me that StrawRedditor was inquiring about engaging strangers in public in general as a means of practicing social skills - learning these social cues that for some aren't all that intuitive.
It is not obvious when your question to them was "Why do you have this need to approach people out of the blue?" which on the surface does not imply that you're inquiring about approaching strangers with sexual intentions. Then you quickly jump to "Cause I get really fucking tired of men alerting me to how their genitals feel about me when I'm trying to buy groceries?", to me it makes it seem like that all interactions with a stranger have a sexual motive.
I apologize if I misinterpreted it, but I hope it's clear why I thought you had such a negative view on what seemed to be revolving on relatively benign interactions.
I was viewing this conversation as part of the larger one. I incorrectly thought it was StrawRedditor who had initially mentioned asking women out up thread, which I already told you.