I am a 16 year old pedophile. (self.sex)
40 ups - 20 downs = 20 votes
Hi everyone. I'm a 16 year old from the united states. Before I get this ball rolling, I'll just let everyone know I'm using anonymity software as well as a throwaway account for this.
I was raised in a middle class home with a loving family. I was never very sheltered and I was always rather shy and very much an introvert when I was young. I was bullied throughout elementary school, never had a girlfriend, became socially frustrated, etc.
I'm your typical high school student. I'm smart, although I don't apply myself. I'm a bit of a class clown and quick witted. I'm a really dorky awkward guy, but in that lovable way that most people have come across. I'm handsome, but I have low confidence with girls. I'm well-learned, I'm a good writer and artist, and I'm pretty outgoing now.
I first started browsing 4chan's /b/ around 3.5 years ago. I quickly found incredibly quirky and strange porn, although having no reference point for pornographic content, I didn't know any better. I subsequently started fapping to CP, not knowing the disastrous nature and horrible consquences of the content. I was simply turned on by the images I saw. Although I wasn't sheltered, per se, I was never very exposed to anything like this, and I was incredibly ignorant towards the repercussions of this taboo illegal subject matter.
I continued this for a year or so, becoming the typical edgy hardened /b/tard that you'd normally find on the underbelly of the Intenet. I suppose you could say I've "recovered" from that stage, so I'm more or less your average teen now... with a few unusual paraphilias (to put it lightly). I don't blame anyone for unearthing my pedophilia; I think it had simply lurked below me and finally became uncovered after I was exposed to a little bit of it.
I would never even dream of assaulting a young child. Even the thought of it disgusts me. After I masturbate to it, I'm almost always overwhelmed with self-loathing and sometimes nausea. But I can't stop myself. Similar to how you can't magically become un-gay, I can't magically become un-pedo. I don't consider myself a sociopath in the least. I'm very caring towards other people, I help with animal shelters, I've worked in food kitchens, and I almost consider myself spiritual in the sense of "We have a limited time here on Earth; use it to make a positive impact on others".
I'm making this post after checking out this thread, which was on the top of the subreddit. I'd like to offer some insight in case anyone's still interested.
I've never sought any kind of therapy for this "thing". I wouldn't even know where to begin. "I like little kids"? No, I see no way of having a moderate approach towards my "illness" or whatever you choose to call it in our modern society.
I'm using this partly to get all of this off my chest (I've never even thought of talking about any of this with anyone), and to let others see inside the mind of someone inflicted with pedophilia. No, I cannot provide proof. I am not a troll either, although some people will undoubtedly jump to that conclusion.
Ask me stuff.
60 comments submitted at 22:07:24 on Feb 11, 2013 by The16yopedo