As a 'Red-Piller' I am sorry. (self.AskWomenOver30)

AskWomenOver30

22 ups - 20 downs = 2 votes

I have been a member of the red pill community for a while. It has helped me be a better person in my everyday life.

However, the problem more so is that the red pill attracts a lot of the wrong kind of men. It attracts men that have been ignored by women their entire life. Not everyone in the red pill are these men but it has become a sizeable portion of the community.

And these guys have contempt for women they have never met. So if they see a woman in her 30’s upset about her failure in relationships. Not being able to have children, they see this as some revenge fantasy. They project their own failure of women onto these women and attack them in comments/private messages.

This is not the message of the red pill, but we do attract these kinds of people. I am sorry if any of you ladies have had your threads hijacked by redpillers.

41 comments submitted at 00:52:30 on Jan 26, 2014 by mistonag

  • [-]
  • RazorbladeApple
  • 10 Points
  • 03:06:57, 26 January

Can you explain like I'm 5 years old: What is the Red Pill sub all about? I only became aware of it recently. I read some things over there & could barely wade through all of the alpha/beta references without gagging. To be honest, outside of reading a bunch of things from bitter men, a lot of the other stuff seems to be all about overcompensating for a lack of true masculinity.

  • [-]
  • snugglebandit
  • 9 Points
  • 04:44:29, 26 January

You know how you can tell when the sort of wimpy guy is obviously posturing in an attempt to emulate his naturally masculine buddies? The red pill is that in highly concentrated form. If you need a subreddit and philosophy to understand male/female attraction then you've got bigger problems.

  • [-]
  • RazorbladeApple
  • 7 Points
  • 04:48:00, 26 January

> If you need a subreddit and philosophy to understand male/female attraction then you've got bigger problems.

That's what it seems like. While I enjoy female company & talks, I certainly don't need to be told how to be a woman... And I grew up with really poor mothering, pretty much raised by my dad. I'm still a woman through & through.

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -4 Points
  • 16:37:51, 26 January

the amount of politically correct crap that gets feed into guys is what makes the red pill necessary. Men are taught to be the 'nice guy' yet they see that women tend to go for 'asshole' type guys (more so when they are younger. Why do women go crazy over 50 shades of gray?

  • [-]
  • RazorbladeApple
  • 3 Points
  • 22:59:58, 26 January

Maybe you're seeing it all through the wrong lenses... Here, try these on.

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -1 Points
  • 01:38:39, 27 January

theredpill isn't about bitching about being friendzoned. It's how to be attractive to women so they can see you in a sexual light.

  • [-]
  • MrsChimpGod
  • 1 Points
  • 02:52:57, 27 January

Are you saying that the only reason a person would be nice is because it's the politically correct thing to do? If that's the only reason a guy is being nice is because he thinks it will get him a woman, then is he really a nice person?

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -5 Points
  • 03:47:46, 26 January

It's about understanding men and women's sexual strategy. It's understanding, why do women like 'asshole' type guys? Why do women like successful men?

A lot of the red pill is rooted in evolutionary psychology. Reason why women prefer well off guys is because they provide good resources to raise a family.

  • [-]
  • MrsChimpGod
  • 18 Points
  • 04:47:59, 26 January

How ridiculous to assume that all women have the same goals in a relationship, the same preferences, the same reasons for decisions they make in their lives and relationships. Are all men alike? Obviously not or there wouldn't be a concern about whether women like this type of man or that type.

  • [-]
  • RazorbladeApple
  • 11 Points
  • 05:06:35, 26 January

Good point. I know that in my circle of female friends we're certainly not all fighting over the same few guys. We all have vastly different tastes, preferences & needs from a relationship.

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -5 Points
  • 16:33:13, 26 January

Again, it doesn't look at women as all special snow flakes.

Every human is different yet most people enjoy the taste of sugar. Evolutionary this makes a ton of sense since sugar was a vital nutrient back then.

  • [-]
  • MrsChimpGod
  • 7 Points
  • 18:20:41, 26 January

Wouldn't the same theory apply the other way then, too? Do the men there also believe that women should view all men as interchangeable, valued only for what they can contribute evolutionarily? And, then, only in a basic way, looking at what they can contribute to them evolutionarily way down low in the hierarchy of needs - food, shelter, DNA.
If that was the case, wouldn't the red pill men be a group where they work towards becoming more like the men that they think women want to be with, rather than a group where they complain about women preferring the men that they think women prefer? Or, maybe that's what it is (I haven't gone to look).
And, if that's the case - what a sad way to live, trying to figure out how to manipulate yourself & others to trick each other into a relationship, rather than living a life that might lead to your own self-actualization and that might lead to an actual meaningful relationship with someone who appreciates you for the special unique snowflake that you actually are.

  • [-]
  • PepperedPistachios
  • 2 Points
  • 01:09:08, 27 January

There is a /r/redpillwomen sub that basically has women who say you need to be a certain way (ultra feminine, not slutty, submissive, etc.) in order to land yourself a "good man^TM" for a husband as an end goal in life. I was disgusted at how judgmental some of the users on there were. :/

  • [-]
  • MrsChimpGod
  • 2 Points
  • 01:31:52, 27 January

I think it might all come down to "You get what you go out looking for". If a person goes out thinking they have to behave a certain way to attract a certain kind of person, then can they really be surprised when that's the kind of person they end up attracting?

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -2 Points
  • 20:09:03, 26 January

Men are very much the same considering attraction. Men have a preference towards a round ass, perky breasts, wide hips.

Again you made a ton of statements. Just look at how women are drawn to books like 50 Shades of Gray or Twighlight. Notice how the men tend to be very dominant masculine guys.

No one can change what women or men are attracted to. Instead we play the game, we work towards bringing out our own masculine side.

Notice what we are talking about is ATTRACTION NOT LOVE. Once a woman is attracted to you than you can work on showing her the other parts of you learning to appreciate your own special snow flake.

When women wear push up bras, wear makeup, wear high heels, are they tricking people into relationships?

Men primarily value physical attraction so women are geared towards looking prettier. While men work towards looking sharp and work on being more confident.

As a man, if you can't get your foot in the door you are fucked.

Trying to explain you the concepts best I can.

  • [-]
  • borgasmic
  • 5 Points
  • 22:02:56, 26 January

Thanks so much for trying to explain these concepts, but I don't think my simple female brain can quite grasp them. I'm just guessing, but I doubt that most women here are drawn to 50 Shades or Twilight, or that their main goal in life is to look pretty for men. You are doing quite a bit of overgeneralization. People aren't this simple.

  • [-]
  • springek
  • 5 Points
  • 22:17:54, 26 January

> You are doing quite a bit of overgeneralization. People aren't this simple.

Yeah it's sort of sad how TRP is desperately trying to understand women by doing this, but needless to say they have come to the conclusion that women are that simple, and all live and exist for alpha dick. But then again I am also a female- I mean to me a guy posting a bunch of bullshit trying to figure shit out as he goes along has no validity, but I think these guys are just so alpha that their word immediately becomes absolute truth- way over the head of a simple female.

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -2 Points
  • 01:37:39, 27 January

Why do almost all women prefer a guy taller than them? Why do almost all women prefer a partner that makes more than them? Why do almost all men prefer youthful women as opposed to older women? Why do almost all men prefer perky breasts as opposed to saggy ones?

Until you realize that people are animals as well you'll keep living in your bubble.

  • [-]
  • springek
  • 4 Points
  • 02:26:26, 27 January

I think these are generalizations that all have some truth to them but are over simplifications. And of course you are just putting everything down to "biology" rather than looking at societal factors. To address a few, 100 years ago a woman's livelihood was largely if not completely tied to the man she married. In some cultures/places it still is. However obviously that has changed and continues to. Amongst my peers, both HS and college- there are many couples where the woman outearns the man, in some cases rather significantly. These are educated women with careers that have their own stability, so they have no need to prioritize that in a partner the same way they would have had to in the past. As for men preferring youthful women, I can't speak to what is in every man's head. You apparently feel you are qualified to speak for them. However, the majority of marriages in the US are between people with less than a 5 year age gap. There are plenty of male celebrities, i.e. part of the small minority of men who actually could pull off banging women in their 20s indefinitely, who are with women their own age.

I find it strange that a TRP member is accusing me of living in a bubble. I interact with people and form relationships with them and don't attempt to make generalizations about them to apply to all interactions. I'm a 29 year old woman, which by TRP standards means I have no value, and yet I have no problems having relationships with men, or women, and treating them as the unique individuals they are. It's messy, but that's life. If TRP works for you, then keep at it. In my experience men who have success with women generally aren't spending time circlejerking about how they're all solipsistic hypergamous whores on a subreddit, but if you're out there drowning in pussy than good on you.

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -3 Points
  • 01:34:00, 27 January

Women don't consciously do anything. When women wear lipstick they aren't thinking what it signals biologically. When women are ovulating they don't think...hmm I am ovulating I am specifically horny right now. They just feel horny. It's all subconscious.

  • [-]
  • borgasmic
  • 5 Points
  • 01:56:48, 27 January

> Women don't consciously do anything.

Wow. You've really got us figured out. Why do you think you know what goes through women's minds when you've never been a woman yourself? You are speaking to a subreddit full of women, as if you know more about them than they do themselves. Maybe stop and think about that for a moment.

  • [-]
  • MrsChimpGod
  • 3 Points
  • 03:03:14, 27 January

Not only how does a man think he knows what goes through women's minds when he is not a woman himself, but how does any person know what goes through another person's mind when he is not that specific person?
I would guess that here amongst our little group of over-30 women here, there is a huge range of the way we all approach life & relationships.

  • [-]
  • springek
  • 4 Points
  • 02:30:14, 27 January

>When women are ovulating they don't think...hmm I am ovulating I am specifically horny right now.

Haha I actually just had this thought today. Libido spikes during different points of a woman's menstrual cycle aren't a secret, I'm afraid. My ex and I used to joke about "day 14" of my cycle, as I was horny as hell.

  • [-]
  • MrsChimpGod
  • 3 Points
  • 23:21:24, 26 January

It would seem to me you're fucked, too, in your quality of life, if you are in relationships built on a foundation of lies, a foundation that leaves you denying your own sense of self - male or female.
Personally, I'd rather work to be happy in my reality even if I end up alone than play a numbers game, hoping to hit on relationships that work out even if they start out falsely.
Of course, I'm looking at this from the point of view of someone who's been in a very fulfilling relationship full of mutual respect & admiration for the past 16 years. A relationship that didn't begin until I was in my 30's & that is with an intelligent, kind, sensitive, human, nice guy.

Overall, I just bristle at stereotypes of any kind, especially ones that assume that all women are the same or all men are the same. What a boring world that would be.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 3 Points
  • 11:35:30, 26 January

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • BlueBelleNOLA
  • 7 Points
  • 13:22:28, 26 January

I have major issues with evolutionary psychology as a general matter, outside of its applications in things like PUA and the red pill. How anyone can presume to assume that modern behavior is driven by caveman standards is ridiculous. It also tends to come from a very Judeo-Christian/Indo-European base, which further skews anything potentially meaningful by leaving out societies that weren't patriarchal and further reflecting the bias of the author.

TLDR: there is no real science in EP.

  • [-]
  • MonsieurJongleur
  • 5 Points
  • 13:46:17, 26 January

I felt the same way you did about EP, given the way it's generally applied, until I read this article.

Pretty much everything that is popularly held as EP is bullshit, but the kernel at the centre is sound.

  • [-]
  • cyanocobalamin
  • 6 Points
  • 16:15:26, 26 January

Sounds like the paleo diet craze, where people borrow a few buzz terms from a branch of science, then stretch it all out of shape to fit a magical story they want to tell themselves.,

  • [-]
  • cyanocobalamin
  • 1 Points
  • 13:32:13, 26 January

My belief is that our biology as animals does influence a lot of behavior. I have seen criticisms of evolutionary psychology that are quite damming. I didn't mention it as I thought the larger issue was popular misunderstanding/bastardaization from the point of the base material.

  • [-]
  • BlueBelleNOLA
  • 2 Points
  • 14:07:38, 26 January

I agree with you about biological basis for behavior - hormones, vitamins, illnesses all have a marked effect on human attitudes. I am going to read MonsieurJongleur's article and maybe find something new, but everything I have seen with EP studies has been glaringly flawed so far.

  • [-]
  • mistonag
  • -7 Points
  • 16:34:01, 26 January

Are you a well versed psychologist making that claim or are you just another pseudo intellectual on reddit?