I wrote this article about buttsex as a relatively mainstream introduction to anal and quirks about anal preparation. If you're on the fence, this could help you out. (thoughtcatalog.com)

{sex}

6 ups - 4 downs = 2 votes

32 comments submitted at 00:53:28 on Jan 23, 2014 by MittRomneysCampaign

  • [-]
  • MittRomneysCampaign
  • 2 Points
  • 00:58:24, 23 January

biases/assumptions involved:

  • I am bisexual, but strongly prefer women excepting select circumstances. So this is written from a bisexual-leaning-heterosexual point of view.

  • I assume that most of my audience is going to be grossed out by feces, and provide ways to avoid contact with it. It didn't occur to me initially that scat fetishists would be an audience who might object to my cleaning regime, although in hindsight I should have realized this.

  • While some of my advice may not be standard (I'm not sure how you'd even standardize anything in anal sex?), it's with the assumption that my audience is going to be somewhat or mostly averse to coming in contact with feces during sex. If you are not averse to this or if you enjoy it, then you can safely ignore these parts of the article.

  • some people have taken the interpretation that I think women are averse to anal sex, but that's not true; rather, I assume that by default, most women are not keen to the idea, but can enjoy it if done a certain way. certainly, a select population of women will be into the idea without convincing.

  • [-]
  • juanjing_im_sorry
  • 5 Points
  • 01:17:26, 23 January

> some people have taken the interpretation that I think women are averse to anal sex, but that's not true;

>rather, I assume that by default, most women are not keen (i.e. adverse) to the idea (to anal sex)

By default of what? Being female? That's called sexism my friend.

We aren't just possible sexual candidates - we are people. The reason a man shouldn't force bad anal sex on women isn't because it might ruin your chances of having anal sex with her in the future.

I'm a woman. I love anal sex. I think your whole article is sexist and, quite frankly, a bit silly. I certainly wouldn't have anal (or any type) of sex with someone with your sexist self-absorbed attitude.

  • [-]
  • Randomaway
  • 3 Points
  • 02:51:28, 23 January

In case you didn't see it, you vindicated me. He posted this before and attacked me when I gave him similar feedback.

http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1vwg53/iwrotethisarticleaboutbuttsexas_a/cewgbdh

  • [-]
  • juanjing_im_sorry
  • 2 Points
  • 03:48:11, 23 January

I only commented in the hope that he was just inexperienced and going off stereotypes. His response to my comment made it very clear to me that he's unable to understand a basic discussion.

>by their default viewpoint, however they've acquired it

This sentence alone shows his inability to understand very basic concepts (I assume that he was serious and has no idea that "default" and "acquired" are very different things)

Your link actually brought me back to this thread, so I had a quick look in his history - it explains everything, really.

Don't waste any more of your time thinking about it - it's a complete lost cause.

I'm glad you feel vindicated. I find this kind of sexism quite difficult to tolerate, to the point that I have to take 'time out' from reddit often.

It's one thing I like about /r/sex - they moderate heavily and don't allow sexism.

(By the way, if you didn't know, this post was removed by moderators)

  • [-]
  • MittRomneysCampaign
  • 0 Points
  • 00:44:11, 24 January

you know, I'm literally a comment below you. I can read your criticisms, and saying this in 3rd-person doesn't make your judgments finalized or more accurate.

this:

> "default" and "acquired" are very different things

is true, but erroneous-in-context

"default" is synonymous with "starting"; the starting viewpoint of most women regarding anal sex is one of extreme apprehension. this isn't due to any sort of trait of womanhood or femaleness or whatever.

it's unclear how or why you think this is sexist, but you appear to have a fringe definition of 'sexism' or at the very least an inconsistent and tenuous way of defining it.

also, this is a tangent, but you should really stop using the word "basic" as a hedge -- you did it twice in one post. like, to position yourself as higher than a person, you will phrase whatever they say as "basic" as if there is a sequential hierarchy of knowledge pertaining to that thing. it could very well be the case that there is some aspect of cognition that a person doesn't understand, but it's unlikely that this corresponds to placement along some body of knowledge with levels of understanding ranging from basic to advanced. maybe you get away with this a lot, but it's rhetorically obnoxious and deceptive.

  • [-]
  • Matthew37
  • 2 Points
  • 00:48:41, 24 January

> the starting viewpoint of most women regarding anal sex is one of extreme apprehension.

In the olden days, sure. Today, not so much (in my experience).

  • [-]
  • MittRomneysCampaign
  • 1 Points
  • 01:05:43, 24 January

your experience could be narrow or limited to a more open audience. the women I hang out with are more open to the idea, but they aren't representative of the mainstream. certainly more women have had anal sex -- I've read something like half of women, or a little under. the number who actually enjoy it, though, is a lot lower. for most who have, it's something like a "I have tried it once and it was awful, ergo I have no interest in doing it again" situation.

  • [-]
  • juanjing_im_sorry
  • 1 Points
  • 00:49:27, 24 January

> the starting viewpoint of most women regarding anal sex is one of extreme apprehension.

This is a sexist comment. If you can't understand that I can't be bothered trying to explain it to you further

  • [-]
  • Jess_than_three
  • 1 Points
  • 02:51:00, 24 January

I'm going to play devil's advocate here: is it possible that the default attitude of most people in Western society who have not had things in their butts is at least a bit of apprehension?

On the subject of sexism, also, I think our society teaches us that women don't (and aren't supposed to) enjoy receiving anal sex, and that men are absolutely under no circumstances supposed to receive anything up there. Both of those things do emanate from cultural sexism, but I think it's possible that to the extent that these ideas get internalized by people, the OP's claims on that subject represent an observation of the culture.

  • [-]
  • MittRomneysCampaign
  • 0 Points
  • 00:51:56, 24 January

right, so, I'm going to read that as "I can't justify why my fringe definition is justified or even fits here, so instead of simply admitting that I am unable to support my claim, I will position myself as above explanation and leave."

  • [-]
  • Matthew37
  • 2 Points
  • 00:53:44, 24 January

Then you read it wrong. It is a sexist comment, whether you choose to accept that or not.

  • [-]
  • MittRomneysCampaign
  • 1 Points
  • 01:16:49, 24 January

I didn't read it wrong. in fact, let's try this: you're wrong, whether you like it or not. (this sentence is to demonstrate that we can hold a "you're wrong" gun to each other all day like this and get nowhere.)

saying "this is sexist", with emphasis, is "you're wrong about this being not sexist" paraphrased. and all you've done is assert "you're wrong", and all the person you're defending has done is assert "you're wrong", and at the end of the day you both haven't made anything resembling a point or a coherent argument for why anyone should think what you're saying is true.

which -- if you want your "this is sexist" claim to be justified -- needs to happen. because at the moment it's unjustified, and I can walk away from this conversation feeling completely confident in rejecting your definition of sexism.

anything asserted but not justified can be dismissed right away; in fact, in my case I have several reasons to not take it seriously, one among which is that "the starting viewpoint of women is x" is a claim about demographics, not a bias against a sex. so by providing this reason, anyone reading this has, at the moment, at least one reason in favor of my view and none in favor of yours.

but having to come up with reasons why you're right is hard, and people hate doing it because they feel stupid or unable to explain what they mean. so very few people do this, and prefer walking away with some kind of parachute like "I don't need to explain this to you." but, yeah, if you want to be right anywhere else except in your own head, you kind of do.

  • [-]
  • Matthew37
  • 1 Points
  • 01:34:31, 24 January

> I can walk away from this conversation

I wish you would. You've pretty much done nothing except embarrass yourself throughout most of it, really. Several people have pointed out the sexism in your original article and in your responses. The fact that many of us can see it, yet you can't speaks volumes, IMO.

What I will close with is this, and this will be my last comment on this. I won't be pointing anyone to your article. I find it quite silly in places, technically inaccurate and dangerous in others, and, as I've pointed out, sexist. I'm sure some people who stumble across it will find it enlightening because they don't know any better. That does pain me a bit because they will end up with a distorted way they're supposed to go about preparing for and enjoying anal sex (and, again, might actually hurt themselves).

But, of course, you think everything you've written is perfectly fine, DESPITE having numerous people explain their issues with it. Normally, when someone posts something in a forum like this, they're inviting discussion and legitimately seeking ways to improve their writing and thus, the experience of those who might eventually use their article. Clearly, however, you're more focused on you being right and don't really give two shits about how others (who have a great deal of experience with this specific activity) might perceive what you're presenting. There's a word for people like that, hoss. ;)

Good evening.

  • [-]
  • MittRomneysCampaign
  • -1 Points
  • 01:25:01, 23 January

wow. no.

by their default viewpoint, however they've acquired it.

this has nothing to do with "being female".