I was raped and now I have sex all the time (self.confession)

confession

78 ups - 21 downs = 57 votes

I was raped October 10. It caused me to have extreme pain in my vagina for a week afterwards. I had tons of bleeding, and abdominal pain. It hurt to cough, or talk too loud... I never saw a doctor for it because I was so ashamed to tell someone I was raped. I was also afraid that something was terribly wrong "down there." I was trying to hold myself together, and if I went to the doctor, and was told something was torn or something bad, then I would have completely spiraled outta control. I healed up after three weeks. The problem now, is that I am horny all of the time. I didn't have a strong sex drive before that, but for some reason I feel like I want to have sex all the time. I put up posts on craigslist to email dirty pics with men, I have sexted with men I met through craigslist (haven't met up with any of those men). I have never done that before. I also got a boyfriend, and we have sex all the time. I have had more sex in the past few weeks, than I have had in the last five years. The rape was one of the worst, most devastating things that has ever happened to me in my entire life, so why am I like obsessed with sex now? The idea of the rape makes me so upset and I can't even talk about it, or think about it too long or I have a meltdown. So why is my sex drive so strong now? I don't understand it, and I am so confused. Has anyone else experienced this? Just to make it clear, I do not find anything about the rape sexy, no rape fantasies or anything. Maybe I am trying to get the power I lost, back?

32 comments submitted at 22:53:51 on Nov 23, 2013 by throwaway03241983

  • [-]
  • Chel_of_the_sea
  • 44 Points
  • 23:05:30, 23 November

Strange sexual response is a common aftereffect of rape. I'd bring it up with a therapist who specializes in this sort of trauma.

  • [-]
  • birdsforfree
  • 20 Points
  • 01:04:01, 24 November

I was also raped and while I didn't have the same response to it as you are having, I can definitely see where it's coming from. I think you're reclaiming sex on your own terms. Every time you have consensual, awesome sex with someone (or hell, even consensual mediocre sex or consensual bad sex!) you're giving a big old fuck you to your rapist and to your shitty, horrible experience. Your subconscious is saying to you "this does not define you. This does not define your sexuality. You are stronger and better than the terrible thing that happened to you."

  • [-]
  • chinchillasteez
  • 11 Points
  • 23:06:13, 23 November

I really wish I had an answer for you. I am really sorry this happened to you, it is something I cannot fathom and I really hope you are doing all right. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this at all?

  • [-]
  • throwaway03241983
  • 1 Points
  • 08:40:10, 28 November

no. I have not talked to anyone about this. I just had a yearly obgyn appointment, and nothing outta the normal... So I think I am ok. Physically.

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 24 Points
  • 00:40:46, 24 November

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • Dareall
  • 7 Points
  • 23:08:38, 23 November

Most people experience a phase of acting out after a trauma. This is not out of the ordinary. You reached out here, you should reach out in RL to a rape counselor. I know it will hurt like hell and something you don't want to think about or deal with, but there is an inevitable futility in indecision. i.e. The acting out. You should also get a full medical check-up. I know all of this is easier said than done. I wish you peace. It took me decades to come to terms with my rape.

  • [-]
  • yergi
  • 3 Points
  • 21:13:48, 24 November

A lot of people here are focusing on emotional reasons. However, have you considered that the sex drive could be hormonally related? Are you sure that you aren't pregnant?

Get tested (for more than just being pregnant) would be my sole advice.

The health clinics often do this for free and are very discrete. No one else needs to know. Having the courage to wrtite this proves that you are strong enough. You can do it. Take care of yourself.

  • [-]
  • throwaway03241983
  • 2 Points
  • 08:38:04, 28 November

No. Not pregnant, I bought the morning after pill at the local pharmacy. I also had my period since then. It was the worst period I have ever had. So much pain! But definitely not pregnant. I took three pregnancy tests, during three different weeks.... Thank you.

  • [-]
  • mrgostwriter
  • 1 Points
  • 09:21:26, 24 November

This isn't rare at all. You are trying to fix the horrible experience you had by having ones like it but nice. Really, really sorry rape happened and that you were so ashamed you didn't get help. Please DO get help now.

  • [-]
  • Think_please
  • 1 Points
  • 14:23:42, 24 November

Going to say what everyone else is saying, please talk to a therapist, and that this sounds like a potentially "normal" reaction.

  • [-]
  • Genopuff
  • 1 Points
  • 19:36:28, 26 November

Your taking back your power and control. It is all good as long as you are enjoying what you are doing. It is actually fairly normal for individuals to have an increased sex drive after being raped. If you feel as though you are not enjoying the sex and just doing it to do it then address when you get a chance. Rainn.org is a great resource if anything to talk with someone or at the very least get a referral to a local resource.

  • [-]
  • I_Cum_Blood_666
  • 1 Points
  • 00:43:13, 30 November

Know a girl who was raped for a couple years in her pre-teens by an old man. Same reaction. When she got older, anyways.

  • [-]
  • SelenaLovesYou
  • 1 Points
  • 23:55:32, 5 December

I have the same response you do...

If you'd like to talk about this further or vent feel free to pm me.

  • [-]
  • hatryd
  • 0 Points
  • 06:20:25, 24 November

Please get therapy.

  • [-]
  • i7alianStallion
  • -1 Points
  • 04:13:23, 30 November

Baby....a kiss makes your day but sex (especially anal) will make your hole weak ;)

I'm jk! I'm a terible person! I know bad joke! I think you should get some professional help though

  • [-]
  • Bassborn
  • -3 Points
  • 03:45:45, 24 November

Is it possible this has more to do with getting a boyfriend than being raped?

I've never been raped, but I think I'd have more sex if I had a girlfriend...

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • -8 Points
  • 03:25:47, 24 November

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 04:57:20, 24 November

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • -13 Points
  • 23:03:40, 23 November

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • MrAbomidable
  • 9 Points
  • 23:05:04, 23 November

Seriously? Demon possession is the best you've got?

  • [-]
  • Entil_Zha
  • 1 Points
  • 18:59:07, 29 November

Yep, why, what explaination did u think of?

  • [-]
  • MrAbomidable
  • 1 Points
  • 19:34:52, 29 November

That this person is reacting to a rape with increased promiscuity, which is actually a common reaction. (If there could even be one). This armchair psychologist thinks it's a way of asserting dominance over ones own sexuality. Which is far more plausible than being possessed by some sort of sex-crazed demon. Which is retarded to consider as a possibility, the fact that the statement was retracted means I'm calling Poe's law.

  • [-]
  • Entil_Zha
  • 1 Points
  • 21:43:49, 29 November

Interesting.

  • [-]
  • Chel_of_the_sea
  • 5 Points
  • 23:05:07, 23 November

The fuck?

  • [-]
  • D14BL0
  • 3 Points
  • 23:50:54, 23 November

Get out of here, Dean.

  • [-]
  • Entil_Zha
  • 1 Points
  • 18:58:09, 29 November

Who is Dean?

  • [-]
  • D14BL0
  • 1 Points
  • 19:39:19, 29 November

It was a Supernatural reference.

  • [-]
  • Entil_Zha
  • 1 Points
  • 21:44:00, 29 November

Ok

  • [-]
  • jrwreno
  • 3 Points
  • 02:00:18, 24 November

Yeah, the pain has nothing to do with being forcibly penetrated over and over, causing internal tearing and trauma. But that does not exist because you cannot see it, right? I have never wanted to throttle someone so bad right now.....

  • [-]
  • Entil_Zha
  • -1 Points
  • 18:58:30, 29 November

Take a chill pill