r/AskMen discusses the future of dating (np.reddit.com)
SubredditDrama
62 ups - 0 downs = 62 votes
285 comments submitted at 18:21:11 on Nov 15, 2014 by banana_mannequin
r/AskMen discusses the future of dating (np.reddit.com)
SubredditDrama
62 ups - 0 downs = 62 votes
285 comments submitted at 18:21:11 on Nov 15, 2014 by banana_mannequin
> This is me. Fuck dating. Drugs , art and vidya > girlfriends. Cheaper too.
I used to feel this way. Was big on the "fuck women I don't need em!" shit and all women are whores and not worth my time, etc. etc. I'm just happy with myself. Then I found a woman who loves me very much and it just...everything is so much better. It's almost like there's a reason for 200,000 years humans have universally sought companionship. It's not that she 'completes' me but it's so nice that in this big bad world of 7.5 billion people that, outside my immediate relatives, there's at least one person who cares about me this much. The knowledge that I actually am a likable person to someone that they would throw being with other people away theoretically permanently just to be with me. It's an enormous confidence boost.
I dunno. I just feel like these people have never really experienced love or anything like it. There's nothing quite like having someone you know will always talk to you if you need it, will almost always spend time with you and enjoy it, and generally just be a friend. They focus on the sex part of the relationship but honestly that's the least important part for me. I dunno. I just feel sad for them because I realize now how much they're missing out.
There is a big difference between "fuck dating" and "fuck women" that you are missing. Many people are just tired of the whole dating scene and rather just chill while enjoying life instead of stressing over dating. Hating the dating world does not AT ALL mean you hate women.
> There is a big difference between "fuck dating" and "fuck women" that you are missing.
He literally said "drugs, art, and vidya > girlfriends"
Ok? I saw the quote, if it said "blah blah blah > women" then you would have a point.
Oh right I forgot about all those male girlfriends.
My point wasn't about the women anyway it's about that they think companionship is just useless because they've never experienced it and don't know what they're missing.
>Oh right I forgot about all those male girlfriends.
I don't want to have a whole debate but you are really missing the point of a quote that you linked. You are jumping to the assumption because individuals are tired of the dating world, they must hate all women. You can hangout with many women on a daily basis but still not be interested in dating. If they befriend a girl and it just develops into a relationship, fine. But they aren't interesting in actively pursuing girls and going on routine dates or to the bar to actively look for potentials.
>My point wasn't about the women anyway it's about that they think companionship is just useless because they've never experienced it
Another assumption. It's not uncommon for people who come out of long-term relationships or just individuals in a certain point of their life to take a break from the dating world to concentrate on themselves.
You made another assumption by concluding "they" think companionship is useless.
From your parent comment, it shows you are reflecting your past feelings and thoughts onto their comments and it clearly shows:
>I used to feel this way. Was big on the "fuck women I don't need em!" shit and all women are whores and not worth my time, etc. etc.
> You are jumping to the assumption because individuals are tired of the dating world, they must hate all women.
\>Says I'm making assumptions
\>Makes an assumption
I never said that. You're the only one saying that. All I said was that they don't want companionship with women and I feel sorry for them because many of them have never even experienced it.
As for the rest of your comment: Are you always this combative and unpleasant or am I just getting the special treatment? Like it's actually impressive how often Redditors just turn anything into a personal argument lol. Thanks for the Intro to Psychology analysis anyway bro from me saying I just wish these people would move past their loneliness. Like it must be such a horrible life to go through if you think going out with a woman is "dangerous".
> ike it's actually impressive how many Redditors just turn everything into an argument lol.
Maybe it's you...? Nah, couldn't be.
It's more of an observation of Reddit in general. I just see people, everywhere, constantly getting in these enormous slapfights with each other over...like, nothing. I don't know what's about it because I get sucked into it too obviously at times. I don't know if it's something to do with the internet or whatever but damn.
To give you a serious answer, I think it's because on the internet, you can't get a sense of tone so you can project if someone is purposely being a jerk or is being nice. Also, there's a lot of times where you talk past each other.
For example, in the conversation you just had, I think what happened was you said assumed "fuck dating" meant "fuck women" and was coming from a place of hatred of women. It could very well just mean "fuck relationships" or "fuck structured relationships".
I've been involved with girls who didn't want to be 'boyfriend/girlfriend' but still wanted to be exclusive and physical. There was a time where I was staunchly anti-dating because sometimes relationships are tiring and I wasn't in the mindset for it.
So that's where I think the other guy was coming from. YOU, on the other hand, assumed the OP was coming from a place of sexism like you were and the guy you were talking to didn't explain clearly what he meant. That's why I think you get into arguments, a failure to understand each others POV.
>I never said that. You're the only one saying that.
Your other comments express something different.
>All I said was that they don't want companionship with women.
This is an another assumption. Not wanting to participate in the dating world DOES NOT mean you don't want companionship.
I'll just go with you're always this combative and argumentative lol.
The guy said that videogames and drugs are "cheaper" than girlfriends. That doesn't scream "I have issues with women" to you?
Yes. Saying that video games and drugs are cheaper than girlfriends is completely unrelated to issues with women. If he said "I find video games and drugs more enjoyable than girlfriends", I'd be more inclined to agree with you.
> Saying that video games and drugs are cheaper than girlfriends is completely unrelated to issues with women.
Unrelated? He's basically saying that girlfriends everywhere are whores. wtf is wrong with you that you can't see this??? o.o
You're mixing up OP of the askmen thread and /u/elos_.
OP said just, "Fuck dating. Drugs , art and vidya > girlfriends. Cheaper too."
/u/elos_ said HE used to think women were whores and assumed OP was the same.
I'm ignoing what elos_ is projecting and going off JUST what OP said. If we're taling about elos_, he used to have issues with women, he admitted it himself. As for OP, based on what we have, I'm not about to assume he has problem with women because he's rather play video games then jump into the dating scene.
Does that make sense?
No I didn't. It was just some off the cuff remarks and y'all are making these huge extrapolations about my former personal beliefs lol. No I didn't not date women because I thought they were whores I didn't because I thought I was better off alone because I didn't think it was worth the risk of "dealing" with companionship. That was the entire point of my post.
Yes, we do need to assume he has a problem with women if he is saying he'd rather sit around playing video games and doing drugs than find companionship.
Buddy, I can't tell if you're making 'off the cuff' remarks online. You LITERALLY said in your post
>I used to feel this way. Was big on the "fuck women I don't need em!" shit and all women are whores and not worth my time, etc. etc.
If you don't want people to make "huge extrapolations" on your beliefs, don't literally type out something you don't believe.
Jesus, calm down.
Seriously...it's amazing he's getting so fired up over this.
Why are you getting so flamed up over this? Jesus.
The "etc. etc." should have told you it was just pointless listing things off though, yes. I'm sorry it so emotionally impacted you that you feel the need to have a conniption in response to it.
I don't know what to do with you. Earlier you whine "Like it's actually impressive how often Redditors just turn anything [I say] into a personal argument lol."
Then you say stuff like "I'm sorry it so emotionally impacted you that you feel the need to have a conniption in response to it."
Jeez, I wonder why people always seem to get into arguments with you. It must be reddit being unreasonable, it can't be you, could never be you.
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Your point was perfectly clear, don't sweat it.
THE DOWNVOTE TRAIN ROLLS ON.
I guess SRD is having one of those days <.<
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> You're mixing up OP of the askmen thread and /u/elos_.
No, I'm not, the guy in the askmen thread literally said that girlfriends = whores. elos_ can see that, I can see that, everyone can see that except (apparently) you.
Link it and I'll believe you. Should be easy if everyone else can see it.
I've already quoted it and explained why it equates to that. I'm not going to spend the next two hours engaged in this pointless dance with you. Seriously, you have issues with women and it's obvious to everyone when you talk about them like this. Go work on those issues. I'm out.
Lol. Call the other person a sexist and run. Flawless strategy.
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Also just for the record, because you genuinely don't seem to be getting this even though it's literally the only thing I've said: the issue isn't that he prefers being single. The issue isn't that he want to take drugs and play video-games and prefers those things to finding a girlfriend. The issue is that he said that girlfriends are expensive, thus commodifying women and treating them as whores/objects/idiots to be won over with shiny gifts.
I'm sure you're not going to get this even now, but I thought I'd spell it out for you in crayon anyway.
I disagree with the idea that saying that girlfriends are expensive means that you think they are a commodity. Girlfriends ARE expensive. If you go somewhere as a couple, that's twice the amount of tickets you need to get and twice the amount of food you need to buy and gifts you exchange. In my relationship, my SO works at a grocery store while she's in college and I've graduated. Because I have more money now, I pay for more things. If I wasn't dating her, I wouldn't spend as much money. It's not an issue of commodification, it's an issue of logistics and reality.
> Girlfriends ARE expensive. If you go somewhere as a couple, that's twice the amount of tickets you need to get and twice the amount of food you need to buy and gifts you exchange.
1) some girlfriends have jobs! and their own incomes!
2) some couples find ways of spending time together that don't cost money!
>Because I have more money now, I pay for more things
So girlfriends aren't expensive, YOUR girlfriend is expensive.
Seriously, if you can't read between the lines and taste the bitterness in that thread you might be beyond hope.
Buddy, you don't know my relationship and you don't know me. Don't pretend like you can tell me about my relationship from reddit comments.
I actually did feel a bit of resentment for paying for most of the things with my girlfriend near the beginning of our relationship. Do you know what I did then? I talked to her like adults do and she told me that when she graduates and has her job, she intends to spoil me so hard and pay for the majority of things for a while. In the short term, she said if I buy groceries, she'll do a lot of the cooking for my place to help with expenses and maybe chip in with rent occasionally if she can.
I actually have NO bitterness in regards to this due to handling my relationship like an adult (and not asking reddit for their uninformed opinions).
But again, that really have nothing to do with the point you alleged. Tell me again how I'm commodifying my girlfriend by saying she's expensive. You clearly know so much about me since you can "read between the lines and taste the bitterness".
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> If he said "I find video games and drugs more enjoyable than girlfriends", I'd be more inclined to agree with you.
...He did...
"Drugs , art and vidya > girlfriends. Cheaper too." Drugs, art, and vidya are better than girlfriends and cheaper too. That's what the ">" symbol means. Drugs, art, and vidya are greater than, as in, better than girlfriends...companions, women, whatever word you want to use. As in, the relative cost was the afterthought not his central point.
Hm. I worded that badly. The guy was saying that in the context of dating being "dangerous" and he'd rather do those things that pursue a girl. I don't think that means he thinks badly of women in general, I think it just means that he likes video games and drugs a lot.