A KotakuInAction moderator is removed, a thread of protest is made, IRC logs are leaked, demands are made for a mod to step down, and accusations are flung over who is the real attention whore (self.SubredditDrama)
SubredditDrama
88 ups - 0 downs = 88 votes
the pastebin. tl;dr is that discord_dancing, a KiA moderator, complains about another moderator, oxymuncha aka EvilFuckingSociopath, and the users in the channel argue with him
top comment calls for discord_dancing to step down
the second top level comment saying discord_dancing should no longer be a moderator.
as of now, oxymuncha has been added back and one mod has responded
discord_dancing's perms have been removed, but top mod david-me has yet to come online and weigh in
I'll update this as things unfold
197 comments submitted at 17:06:46 on Nov 1, 2014 by stopscopiesme
The drama isn't attracted to him, he puts out the bait and actively seeks out positions that would give him more leverage. He has a whole twitter account for getting his followers on the same page, he returned to reddit after his not-so-permanent leave-of-absence, and he is now trying to fuel some drama with Buzzfeed.
I thought he was leaving reddit to focus on his mental health issues or something. Welp.
I did for two months. I went on antidepressants during that time and stopped using all recreational drugs, even benzos which I wasn't prescribed but used to self-medicate my anxiety. I dropped all of it. Didn't even drink.
During this time my emotions disappeared but my thoughts only got darker. I plotted to kill myself and had a plan set up which I had sorted out and not told anyone IRL about. I was ready to do it. I dipped into Reddit a little at this stage to use pro-suicide subreddits, which ultimately got the alt I used for this shadowbanned.
Luckily, however, just a week or two before I had planned to off myself, I decided I wanted to do it with a clear head. So I stopped taking ADs. I went through the crappy withdrawals and after that I realised what a massive idiot I was. Frankly I was embarrassed for myself.
So I decided I tried the official "healthy" way and got fucking nowhere. I threw my antidepressants away and got back on drugs. This time (despite the name, which I just used because it's my Tumblr) I have become fond of low doses of amphetamine, as they release dopamine, which helps my depression greatly. This is considered a valid treatment for depression that doesn't respond to serotonin treatment and I have found it treats my depression pretty well. I'm also looking at modafinil for this purpose instead so I don't have to rely on street drugs.
I would try to get a legit script for a stimulant as it is helping my condition but sadly the NHS is very reluctant to prescribe anything they consider to have the potential for abuse. Even modafinil, which has literally no recreational use whatsoever.
So what's where I'm at now and that's why I felt better enough to come back on here.
You certainly sound like you've got some growing up to do, mate, and you just aren't there yet.
You've got some progress to make as you haven't come far at all. I wish you the best.
How so? Assuming you're not just a troll I am genuinely asking. It's easy to make light of shit online but I am struggling a lot with depression, have done for as long as I can remember, and I am personally happy I have found a way to help calm it down a bit.
I am not claiming to have everything sorted out by any means, don't get me wrong, but I've improved from how I was before.
If you think two months is long enough to figure shit out and you've already turned back to drugs for some semblance of normalcy, you're doomed to fail.
There's a reason why we (those who work with them) tell addicts that, no, you can't smoke weed or take Xanax, the drug won't be enough for what your choice was and you will go back to as you were before. When your Adderall/amphetamines run out, you'll turn to something else.
Even if your problem isn't drugs (doubtful as you've clearly spelled it out already), you lack the proper coping mechanisms and methods for ensuring your success. I've spent years working with people on these struggles but it doesn't take anyone special to see this.
I wish you the best, again, but I'm not holding my breath that you'll be the magic 1% who doesn't fall back into the rabbit hole.
I never had major drug problems. I use them in the same way people use alcohol, more as something I take for fun, usually during social environments. A lot of my friends are drug users so when we hang out we pass around joints and swap pills, it's just how we do it. It's not like I need to take something every day, or I am addicted to opiates, or anything like that.
It's just one day I tried speed for the first time and went, holy fuck, this genuinely makes me feel better. Then I remember someone on TiA had told me about stims and dopamine before so I did a bit of research and found it was legit. Frankly I'm just disappointed the doctors don't offer stims for those who don't respond to SSRIs considering there is real evidence that for dopamine issues it is an effective treatment and at low doses it causes you little harm.
As for the two months thing, no I didn't think that was all I needed for a new look on life, but it's as long as I needed to decide "fuck man, ADs make me worse." Because they do. I followed the doctor's orders completely and only felt more and more depressed on those pills. I would never take them again.
I can understand you looking down on me as immature for self-medicating, but I'm only doing that because, even though simple modafinil would do, the doctors won't give me any due to their aversion to prescribing anything even remotely abusable. They don't even prescribe Wellburtin here!
Also, I have never used benzos to combat depression. Benzos make depression worse and I fully understand the risks that come with benzo addiction. I have only ever used them as needed for anxiety, but I use them a lot less because stims relieve my anxiety pretty well too, which is something I never would have expected but there you have it. I guess it all comes from dopamine problems.
It usually takes 2-3 years and several to a dozen medication switches and dosage alterations for anti-depressants to "work," everyone who prescribes them should be telling you that.
I dunno, maybe my doctor was just useless. But I did change up my meds. Seriously, google "stimulant depression treatment" and see that I am not just talking bollocks. Depression is either caused by serotonin or dopamine. It seems mine is caused by dopamine. SSRIs, no matter how many different ones I use, would not fix dopamine related depression. Stims do that.
I am however aware that might not be the case forever. Could be I get too tolerant and they stop helping me. Partly why I only take them every few days, to try and avoid that. But if it ever happens I will reconsider things again.
Btw, I probably should have mentioned that I am also on the waiting list to get CBT, but I don't expect that to happen any time soon, waiting list on the NHS for CBT is literally about 12 months long.
Again, I wish you the best of luck.
Please give some serious consideration in spending a little more than two months rethinking your life.
I wish you well, but 2 months isn't a very long time to try a whole new way of life and most antidepressants take a minimum of 6-8 weeks to reach therapeutic levels.
I was told by the doctor the suicidal feelings should go before a month and the drug takes effect within two weeks. So in that two months I used two different meds. I tried both an SSRI and mirtazapine. Both had basically the same effects on my emotions but I got worse side effects from the SSRI.
I'm happy with what I got going now, stimulants in low doses (not even really recreational ones) every few days do me a world of good, with the low doses meaning I don't get much of a comedown either.
I wish I had Adderall in my country but sadly not. I imagine that'd help a fuckload more than street speed that's most certainly half baby powder or something. Even the DNMs sell cut shit, don't let the hype tell you otherwise. If it's not a pharmaceutical, it's cut.
Anyway, bit of a tangent there, sorry. Happens when you use lots of stims or so I hear :P
Well, if you've decided to forgo a shot at real life in exchange for acting as a perpetual popcorn dispenser, that's your god-given right.
Why do I have to choose between internet or real life? I handle both fine. I could say to you, since you're in the metasphere right now, why are you on Reddit when you could be doing real life shit? Everyone needs downtime and a distraction from reality.
Most of my redditing these days is done from Reddit Sync Pro on my phone while I'm out anyway. Yeah bitch I got the pro version even though my phone has an ad blocker on it anyway because the dev seems like a good bloke.
If you're referring more to my drug use, I am not using stims for recreation, I take low doses every few days to release more dopamine. It keeps the sads away quite well. If you look up stimulants for dopamine depression you will find a lot to back up that it's a legit method for certain types of depression that don't respond to SSRIs.
> Everyone needs downtime and a distraction from reality.
No arguments here, but I watched you melt down a couple of months ago and it seems to me, a completely uncredentialed stranger, that maybe this isn't the best way to get healthy if that's your real intention. shrug
Fair play man, you're entitled to your opinion and all that.
medication alone is a bad strategy for managing depression. good therapy is hard to find, but it's vital to seek it out