Hey, at least she was completely honest... (self.OkCupid)

OkCupid

5 ups - 1 downs = 4 votes

Backstory: I had a great chat with a girl about a week ago. I noticed she had hand-made Legend of Zelda earrings on in one of her profile pictures, so that was a nice icebreaker to talk about. We chat for an hour, and really hit it off, and she gives me her number and we make plans to get together Thursday night.

So we have a really fun time at this local barcade, as we discussed WiiU third party support, Xbox Live Arcade games, and various other video game related topics. We even played NES Tetris together for about 45 minutes. As we left, she told me with a big smile on her face "We should do this again sometime!" It was really crappy outside, and she had a 25 minute drive home. After I got home, I texted her, saying I had a lot of fun, and I hope she got home safely. She responded abotu 5 minutes later saying "Yep, I'm home now, safe and sound. I had fun, we'll hafta hang again soon. Have a good weekend, too!"

So on Saturday, I text her with a link to that "puppy can't figure out stairs, so big dog shows her how" video, since I know she loves dogs. And also to see how her weekend was going. No response. I figure this girl is just a typical OKC Liar, who says one thing and means something completely different. I decide to text her again Monday night and straight up ask her out. No response.

About 30 minutes ago, this message from her shows up in my OKC inbox:

"Hey name redacted,

I noticed you'd texted me, but I was with friends and I don't text when I'm among other people, typically, as my attention is on them.

That is one of the many reasons why I don't give out my number so early, and why I hesitated before. Guys feel the need to fill in the gap with random things, sometimes, and I also don't think someone should use texting as a great form to get to know someone. Rare cases, does that work in anyone's favor.

I'm going to request that you delete my number from your phone, as I'm doing the same. I don't want hard feelings about this, I just want to be honest--I joined the site to use as a means to get to know someone and allow it to determine whether it is worth my time otherwise to attempt something. And I don't feel the texting helps, as I only really text people I know well.

Which brings me to my next point--I'm actually busy all this week and weekend, again, as I have some other obligations. And I was also thinking about meeting you and how I didn't feel anything other than friendship. I want that to be out in the open because I've tried the whole "maybe later" thing, and that just doesn't pan out. That's something I want you to consider before placing effort toward me, as I have a large social life I like to keep up. And I'd want to contact through here for a while before hanging again.

Feel free to give back your thoughts, but I'm open and honest about these things as I don't like confusion or false hope or anything close to the unclear."

So...I am thinking I dodged a bullet with this one. I messaged her back, saying I am not going to try and work for her friendship, and Good Luck.

67 comments submitted at 15:08:52 on Jan 15, 2013 by PercyChuggs

  • [-]
  • vegan_velociraptor
  • -8 Points
  • 15:13:04, 15 January

This is why you don't fucking text and don't fucking call until you're in something resembling a relationship. It's really off-putting to some people. I have female friends who'll cancel first dates if the guy texts them between scheduling and confirming, and I've been tempted to do that with girls who do the same.

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • 6 Points
  • 15:15:40, 15 January

Yes, because this one girl didn't like it, that must mean all of them don't, right?

  • [-]
  • vegan_velociraptor
  • -1 Points
  • 15:19:07, 15 January

If you don't know the type of girl you're dealing with, why risk it?

  • [-]
  • duckduck_goose
  • 6 Points
  • 15:24:15, 15 January

Let's all walk on eggshells assuming everyone is going to be a certain way. God how many people gotta contort themselves how many ways before we're allowed to just be ourselves?

  • [-]
  • NormanKnight
  • 2 Points
  • 15:44:34, 15 January

Upvoted because this is so fabulously true.

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • 2 Points
  • 15:44:47, 15 January

Apparently so. I guess the best means of communication is no communication at all?

And to whoever it is that is downvoting me in this thread, keep it up. It's not enough to hide my comment, and I care not for silly karma.

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • 2 Points
  • 15:22:58, 15 January

The only text I send a girl before a first date is one either the night before, or morning of, just confirming the time and place.

If someone tells me "We should do this again!" and "We'll hafta hang again soon!", I am going to text them a couple days later trying to set up another date. That is what I did here. You have a problem with this?

  • [-]
  • StevenMC19
  • 1 Points
  • 16:32:42, 15 January

Sending her a video of a puppy is your way of saying "let's get together again?"

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • -1 Points
  • 16:40:21, 15 January

I sent her the video, and then asked how her weekend was going. You know, normal human interaction stuff. Do you approach women in bars and just launch directly into "Hey let's go get coffee sometime?" I hope not. It's a greeting, a way to start a conversation.

  • [-]
  • StevenMC19
  • 2 Points
  • 16:45:55, 15 January

I don't sit next to a woman in a bar, whip out my phone and tell her "watch this", then proceed to ask her out.

  • [-]
  • vegan_velociraptor
  • -1 Points
  • 15:25:14, 15 January

I don't have a problem with trying to set up another date, and I doubt she did either. The problem was sending links to dog videos and trying to have a conversation via text.

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • 2 Points
  • 15:27:09, 15 January

She loves dogs, so that is why I sent that to her. If a girl I liked sent me that same video, I would have really liked it. It's not like I spammed her with 5 messages in an hour. She is the first woman to ever have a problem with this. I will continue to do what I do.

  • [-]
  • vegan_velociraptor
  • -3 Points
  • 15:31:08, 15 January

> I will continue to do what I do.

By that, do you mean you'll get super-attached after a first date and send puppy videos like a clingy, insecure, 27-year-old virgin?

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • 2 Points
  • 15:54:50, 15 January

Yep exactly. I'm not just out to get laid, brah. I'll continue to be myself, and look for someone who likes the real me. Why the fuck do you care so much? You have nothing better to do than dig through my comment history? What, jealous that this now 28 year old virgin can get more OKC dates than you?

  • [-]
  • vegan_velociraptor
  • -1 Points
  • 16:02:08, 15 January

> I'm not just out to get laid, brah. I'll continue to be myself, and look for someone who likes the real me.

Ahh, the rallying cry of socially-inept virgins everywhere.

> What, jealous that this now 28 year old virgin can get more OKC dates than you?

I assure you that when I'm single, I get more dates than you do.

  • [-]
  • StevenMC19
  • 1 Points
  • 16:35:11, 15 January

This is getting comical, and I'm loving it.

I agree with all your points too. OP's issue is the fact that he can't realize that he did something wrong here. (DISCLAIMER: He did something wrong...to THIS girl. It may work with others, but people are different and she's one of the select few who don't cling to technology.)

  • [-]
  • PercyChuggs
  • 2 Points
  • 16:07:50, 15 January

Oh, I am sure you'll be single again.