RPW single mom (self.RedPillWomen)

RedPillWomen

33 ups - 13 downs = 20 votes

Hi RPW : ) I'll try to keep this as short as possible... I married young; 20 to be exact. I wanted to give my life to him. I gave birth to our daughter at 22, and three months later he walked out and moved half way across the country, leaving me with a newborn. He was active duty Marine Corps, and dealing with a lot of mental health issues along with a debilitating injury that put a lot of strain on us. Anyway, our daughter is 4 now. He is uninvolved. I went back to school and am about to graduate with a bachelor's in nursing. My love life has been non-existent by my choice since I became single. I have taken the last 4 years to focus on developing myself as a person so that I can be the best partner possible (hopefully again someday) if/when that time comes. I've never wanted to parade a steady stream of men through our lives, and I think it has been a good choice. So here I am, 26 years old, single for 4 years, and wanting to meet someone. I have lurked on TRP for a while, and I get that there seems to be a lot of disdain for single moms. To be honest, I understand. I would be really weary of dating one myself if I were a man. I try really hard to increase my value in other ways by working out, keeping up my appearance, and pursuing a sensible career in nursing so I don't come across as trying to lock in a provider. I feel that I have a lot to offer a man. I'm kind, feminine, supportive, and fiercely loyal. It's just really disheartening to read over and over that no matter what I do, I have no value beyond a pump and dump. I really strongly desire an RP relationship dynamic, but I fear that it will never happen for me. I don't know what I really want from you ladies. Does anyone have any words of advice? Encouragement? Does this situation seem hopeless? Thanks : )

71 comments submitted at 08:12:59 on Dec 29, 2013 by cheez_Ina_pan

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -8 Points
  • 18:31:43, 29 December

>Whatever you do, make sure you always keep your daughter's well-being as your center focus

ALL MEN READING: ALERT!!

THIS is why you should NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER date a single mom. ever. do not get in relationships with them, do not invest resources in them and their alien crotchfruit. you will never matter, only her kids matter, she wants you as a dick in a glass case or a wallet. do not let a single mom fool you, her friends and family will do everything to keep the kid out of your hair while she snags you, then that will all disappear when she gets her claws into you. you do not need a women who comes to you precuckolded, there are millions of women without baggage and other men's children, do not settle for one, you will end up screwed, either accused of molesting her brat after she has a fight with you or end up (LOL!!) paying CHILD SUPPORT for it because you bought it food for a few years

NO NO NO NO NO no single moms

  • [-]
  • PenguinLovr
  • 3 Points
  • 05:42:48, 31 December

Could it work if the guy was also a single father?

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -19 Points
  • 06:19:00, 31 December

Peng, in reality anything can always potentialy work, and of course that's probably optimal for both types logistically --but it's still not an advisable situation for a man to get into for the host of reasons outlined before. Single dad's are the opposite of single mom's and because of the circumstances that are likely to lead to each state. A single dad is likely to be of much higher caliber than a single mom. Single dad's are also much rarer and likely to have way more options

  • [-]
  • [deleted]
  • 1 Points
  • 05:47:03, 1 January

[deleted]

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -9 Points
  • 06:17:33, 1 January

Lol@back off

I am making general statements about why men should avoid single mom's, and they should, no man with options should entangle themselves with a single mom especially in today's legal environment. The only statement I made directly to her was some very good advice.

Because I have never heard a woman tell the truth about her role in a break up, I just use their stories as jump-offs for general advice. It is as important for women who's value has been damaged by being single moms to understand this fact and adjust their expectations accordingly and it is VITAL that young men know the true dangers and risks associated with consorting with them. I don't want to see more men roped into paying for kids that aren't theirs, always playing second fiddle to them and biodad, and risking the all too prevalent abuse accusation when there are plenty of fish in the sea who do not come with that baggage.

You can white Knight for the damaged goods of the world all you want, I care about the men being wrecked by them more.

  • [-]
  • cheez_Ina_pan
  • 19 Points
  • 09:17:49, 1 January

Please don't say that you have given me good advice when you called my 4 year old "alien crotchfruit". That is so classless and not appreciated. You are absolutely entitled to your opinions on single moms, but to name call a child is pretty low and immature.

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -6 Points
  • 14:48:50, 1 January

i did give you good advice in a separate post and i did not call YOUR child that, i was giving general advice to men in a separate post that was written in response to something someone ELSE posted. what i said in that post is how men think of the children of single moms, straight from men's mouths, derived from listening to what men say to each other, and you should know men feel that way and act accordingly if you meet a man who wants to date you. in todays legal environment a woman with a child is like a loaded gun held to a man's head, and a lot of them know it. not only that but if you meet a man and toy with him after he develops a relationship with you and your child and then dump him he will get double broken hearted. you should know these things, and know that other men will be telling a man everything i said in that post. you should do everything to show you are NOT what i said in that post and be grateful to any man who will risk the odds and date you. in general i wouldnt advise any woman to let any strange man into her life while there is a daughter growing up at all, at any age, only if there is a son. the risk that the man is really targetting your daughter especially as she hits puberty is way too high and the whole thing is way too risky for everyone involved

  • [-]
  • mrbusinesspants
  • 1 Points
  • 06:28:38, 1 January

Alright, but lets suppose you are wrong. I got annoyed at your post because though I am as angry as you at the way some girls act, I will not toss all of them into the same pile. Okay, she might be lying, but from what I read, I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt, why? Sounds genuine. Could I be wrong? Maybe. Could you be wrong? Maybe. But I think that if she is being legit with her story, having you come in and say that is very mest up. kind of like the people who say, zero tolerant laws are stupid, I would rather see 10 guilty men walk, and an innocent man locked up. This is my reason for giving her the benefit of the doubt, and getting annoyed at u. If she is lying, that is on her. just keep in mind you aren't always right. You could be right or you could also be acting like an ass with a woman who is trying to better herself when others are being decadent debauchers.

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -5 Points
  • 06:33:33, 1 January

I'm not sure why you are telling me all those feelings

Also where Did I say one word about her. I responded to a line a different posters wrote with a general warning to men, I responded to penguin with another general statement about the comparative value of single mom's and single dad's and I responded directly to OP with advice.

  • [-]
  • mrbusinesspants
  • 1 Points
  • 07:28:18, 1 January

alright, misread. my bad. It's the internet, it happens.

  • [-]
  • OccamsUsername
  • 2 Points
  • 22:49:37, 29 December

Dana rants are best rants.

  • [-]
  • scottishredpill
  • -1 Points
  • 18:49:15, 29 December

Single mothers can make great plates if you have right frame. Few pointers:

  • Be up front. Make sure she knows early its a sex only thing

  • Encourage her to date. Making sure you discuss it with her, always communicate what you have is not a relationship

  • Never take her out to anything social. Keep your investment low. If she complains, break out the skittles and/or next

  • NEVER MEET HER KID/S.

  • Always be ready to next her. Do not get too emotionally invested.

  • SERIOUSLY, NEVER MEET HER KID/S

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -6 Points
  • 18:51:14, 29 December

good way to end up accused of molesting her kid. theres a million women, get one without a little viper harbored to her breast

  • [-]
  • PhantomDream09
  • -1 Points
  • 21:08:55, 29 December

Yes, if the child is the main focus always, then how can there be room for an adult relationship grow?

I initially read the latter part of the message (I am on my phone) and I only saw the never date a single mom part....mistook you for a guy that had wandered into RPW and nothing but sour words for the OP. My apologies Dana.

:0)

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -2 Points
  • 21:11:04, 29 December

Misgendering!!! Capitol offense. Hang your head in shame

  • [-]
  • PhantomDream09
  • -4 Points
  • 21:23:09, 29 December

mewp Would you believe me if I said I have already been fretting that you'd be displeased? :*0( that asterix is a tear by the way

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -3 Points
  • 21:53:05, 29 December

I think I'm missing the part where you actually Did something lol. Is there a deleted post I missed? Whatever it was no worries

  • [-]
  • PhantomDream09
  • 0 Points
  • 21:59:16, 29 December

Yes, I went "off" a little (well, as much as I go off) at first. I deleted it once I saw it was actually you, but was worried it would still show up on your profile. Wanted to clear up any misunderstandings asap.

:0)

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -1 Points
  • 22:23:12, 29 December

I said mewp to a cat the other day because of you

If you hang out with me long enough I will eventually offend you. That the eternal burden of being me

  • [-]
  • PhantomDream09
  • -1 Points
  • 23:22:43, 29 December

I take full responsibility for all mewps, and don't worry, I don't get offended easily, and sometimes I need to be told when I start running away with my nonsense. :0)

  • [-]
  • danabanana9
  • -2 Points
  • 23:29:58, 29 December

How could you not laugh at alien crotchfruit. I'm still laughing

  • [-]
  • OccamsUsername
  • -2 Points
  • 14:11:03, 30 December

Me too.